oops

Didn't run this Sunday - I was working all day (rather hard I may say) and I couldn't fit a run in - especially as I'd overslept a bit... And it was terribly cold. But it would have done me good I know that.

So - do I go for the mid-week after-work style run?
Not tonight as I have to prepare for visitors tomorrow
Not tomorrow cos of visitors
Not weds cos of working til late
Not thursday cos of... Um. Cos of...
Not friday cos it's the end of the week

looks like thursday then
We shall see.

sunday running

OK so I was in medium condition this morning, medium weather, medium everything really. And the result - another fastest ever mile (according to Tiger Woods no less) which is quite nice, but I also probably did my slowest as well.
stats:
55mins 28secs
5.84 miles
9mins 29secs per mile
570 cals
And ipod on shuffle which threw up some weird stuff - not least of which is the spanish cd which has been on there for years waiting for me to start learning spanish. It will never happen, I know that.
I will at some point work out how fast a pace I have to run at to get under 2 hours for the 1/2 marathon - how about now...
distance: 13.1 miles, 120 minutes = 9.16 mins per mile. That is a tough call for me I think. Basically I haven't got a jot faster since I did the half in 2006... but I am 5 years older of course. And I am only running once a week. But I have been going to the gym for 14 months now so surely something should be paying off...
Hey ho.

morning after the night before

OK I've done it before, gone running after a late night which involved a fair bit of wine - but usually I feel I'm suffering terribly - and yet this morning I didn't feel that way too much...
The first couple of miles were pretty tragic but after that I felt good. Actually good. Like I had a bit of strength in my legs (must be the gym work) and a source of energy. Didn't last very long though - but enough to get me back to where we'd left the car at 130 last night...

Stats, then
48mins 35 secs
5.21 miles
9mins 18 secs per mile
509 calories

Not unhappy with all that. Wonder if I will keep improving. At this rate I may even consider another 1/2 marathon...

Officially a bad-ass

Apparently once you've run 100 miles with your nike+ you get a well-known skater (?) telling you you're a bad-ass. Phew


56'45"   6.1miles   9'17" per mile   596 cals

I think there is a lot to be said for not drowning in wine the night before and carbo-loading for 24 hours to make a run a lot more effective. There was a curry night at home on Friday which kind of means there was a lot of carbos to finish off (lots of poppadoms...) and frankly I wasn't going to turn down some lush home-made chocolate cake either. So the whole low carb thing was resting for the last couple of days. I miss them now...

So, on Mondays, should I cycle to work via the gym, and do an hour's yoga in the late afternoon - and then go running with the westbury harriers? It might just be a huge amount too much frankly. And I don't want to lose the yoga. Perhaps on the nights when yoga is cancelled I go running.

Or not. I don't fancy the idea of running with other people - I feel under too much pressure to go too fast and end up being knackered and useless. I would have to be in the bottom group as it is, and where's the motivation in that? Not selling it well am I?

aftermath

36 hours after the event is well-known to be the killer time for aches and pain. I am living proof of the truth of this observation.
Luckily my yoga class was cancelled yesterday otherwise I think I would have showed myself up to be totally rigid.

So the question is - was all that a result of my not stretching enough after running? Before running? Overdoing the running? I don't know. And it's just the sort of outcome which puts you off going running in the future.
Perhaps I need to buy myself some nice new running trousers to get me back in the mood.

Shallow? Uh huh.

achy breaky legs

Well, not breaky legs, happily.

Went for a run yesterday (after another 2 weeks off) and did the 6 and a bit miles around the downs from home. And man did my legs ache. My right foot feels wrong, like I'm curling my toes in or something and no matter how much I try and relax my foot, it's not right. More new shoes?? I hope not. And my left hip seized up a bit as well - quite painful but I will work on the assumption that it's just a bit rusty, and I ought to do more than an hour of yoga each week.

But at least I went running and apart from the achy bits I didn't mind it at all - it was a nice morning - cold and crisp and I listened to Broadcasting House with my finger on the trigger in case they revealed the result of the Korean Grand Prix. They didn't. But it didn't matter as it was so delayed it hadn't finished by the time I got back home.

So now I know I need to run more than twice a month and I know damn well that the more you do it the more you get out of it. Family are running with the Westbury Harriers now - I could join them but on Mondays I already go to the gym and do yoga. I guess an hour's hard run of an evening would round the day off nicely...

Question

Having read lots about it in the paper recently - should I come to the conclusion that there's nothing to be gained by doing exercise?
Apparantly it does nothing for you if you want to lose weight, which, frankly, is why most people take up running in the first place.
I have evidence, if not proof, that this is right: a friend trained for and completed the London marathon and compained that she didn't become the sleek gazelle-like athlete she'd imagined was her due after all that effort. She certainly isn't - and wasn't - overweight but there was no danger of stick-insectyness either.
So, am I right to settle back safe in the knowledge that I haven't wasted a moment of my life by doing just 30 mins of running in the past 3 weeks - or should I seek out inspirational stories to get me back pounding the streets again?
WHY DOES ANYONE RUN?? PLEASE TELL ME.

First run of the month

And it was in London - and very short.
There was a curry night at a mate's last night which was great - quite late, quite red winey, quite marvellous.
And then this morning I went for a run to the bunny park, seeing parakeets along the way. Quite surreal. And quite hard work cos of the curry night...

But I did manage about 1/2 an hour which is far far far better than nothing - especially as itr was touch and go whether I was going to go at all so I do feel I deserve, if not a pat on the back, then a light graze.

back on the downs

A very pleasant Sunday run.
Apart from feeling sick (too much dry white last night)...
I ran up to the observatory - which was hard work - but afterwards I felt great... perhaps generally I need to try a bit harder rather than keep something in reserve. Although it's a few hours later now and I'm feeling quite knackered.

OK so guilty pleasure of the day - I downloaded a song from way back in my slightly goth influenced teenage years - and possibly the least motivational song ever to have on your ipod... It was 'last exit for the lost' by the fields of the nephilim. Can't believe it, but a few weeks ago we had a cull of cds and that was one which went out - and then I go and put them on spotify and want to get them all back. Hey ho. There is a reason for this - more than just a trip down a black-clad memory lane - I want to write a play in which a middle-aged woman meets up with an old flame who happens to be a goth-rocker who's kept his dream alive and is now rich and famous - but not in the uk. Write about what your heart knows.

So, yeah, the run - haven't been for a bit and was putting it off frankly. But it was really fine.
Stats: 53' 30"  5.29 miles   10' 06" per mile (shockingly slow, I blame the wine) 517 cals
So there is no excuse to slacken off - I need to go at least once a week - and before work if I can bear it.
There was some drunken talk about the Bath Half marathon last night - hmmm. Training over the winter??? Not sure about that

Taking no chances

I've put my doubts about early morning runs to one side by not doing them - or any running at all - for the time being. No particular reason other than laziness and disillusionment.

I am fed up of feeling mediocre after doing all this exercise - I don't seem to have any more vavavoom than the rest of the couch potaotes I mix with and as for the gym bunnies I know - I just feel like a sack of spuds.

I guess it's a form of depression and one of the best ways of combating depression is to exercise...

I know I feel better for my gym sessions but I know deep down I'm not putting in the effort requred - I need the guys at the gym to force me onwards. But then the point of the gym sessions is to work until muscle failure which I read as 'failure' - not very motviationals.

So - please - I need to get my mojo back and get back on the road - perhaps all it will take is some new kit - or is that just kidding myself... (the 2nd one)

Sorry.
I hate feeling like this.
Sometimes it's good to look back on the bad times, sometimes it's better to put on a brave face.  (Like adam ant)

x

Tuesday morning

I am beginning to seriously doubt the value of these early morning 10k runs.
For a start I have to get up at 6am which is really very early in anyone's book and then I'm running on empty for over an hour. I feel exhausted after a couple of miles and there are still 4 to go.
I do feel quite good once I've stopped though.
But for the rest of the day I feel weary.
I know it's good exercise - but would it be better to run after work when I've had something to eat during the day? Or is running on empty a good thing in terms of getting round to burning fat for energy which is what I'm aiming for? The low-carb thing obviously won't help even an evening run - slow-release carbs might but I don't know the rules about them. And should I really be bothered about rules? It's not like I'm following the plan strictly, just cutting out bread, pasta, spuds, rice and sugar. I think it's working - put it this way: I'm going to 2 parties this weekend and am wearing clothes I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing just a few weeks ago - so I guess I feel more confident if nothing else.
Keep on runninggggg......

Half marathon 2010

Not that I did it, of course, but I did wave over the seawall viewing point as the runners went up the portway (before the leaders came back down) - and - apart from the rain - I kind of wished I was doing it too. All my chums did it and were really happy with themselves - boyf did it in about 1hr 36 which isn't bad for not doing much training...
I dropped them off in town for the start and I did envy them their excitement - it's what makes it an event rather than a really, really long run.
I did go for a run round the downs and managed the usual 4 and half miles - and I had to walk again for a few seconds after a mile or so - whether that's cos of the low carb thing or cos I never warm up properly and this was a way of allowing my blood to redistribute properly I don't know, but it did help...
And the low-carb is working quite well as I've lost about 4lbs (but this is weighing myself 1st thing in the morning and after a few lagers last night... but hey 4lbs is 4lbs - another 3 weeks and I might have hit my target. But will it make me happy? And will I skeep it off??)

A good run following a bad day

You know how some days are just rubbish, that you just want to fast forward through them and move on? Yesterday was like that so I had some wine before I went to bed. Daft really. Really daft, as I'd promised I wouldn't. But it was a treat to get over the bad day.

So when the alarm went off at 6am I wasn't best pleased and actually spent a few minutes arguing why I should run, that I could run after work instead. (I haven't done that for a long time, years perhaps) But as usual there wasn't a particularly good reason why I should turn over and go back to sleep and so I went for a run.

Incidentally, so did the boyf who is running the Bristol 1/2 marathon this weekend (he has done v little training as usual but will get round in 1 hour 43 mins, my prediction)

But back to me - my run was ok - it was hard to begin with, as I was going the opposite way round my normal route which means the steeper hills are first, but I got round ok.

There is a huge amount of mind over matter in these things - there are the aching buns, the boredom (even Evan Davies and Jim Naughtie aren't totally engrossing) but if you just keep going (as long as there isn't anything terminal going on with your knees etc) then you get round. It's very simple. And there is the added incentive of wanting to get back as soon as possible for a nice cup of tea. Very motivational.

PS - I'm still unsure as to the success of the (not very) low-carb diet. I've lost about 2lbs I think but surely it's only a matter of time before I am a size zero. (Although that's fairly unlikely as I'm protecting myself against that by drinking wine and eating carby fruits)

Early one morning just as the sun was riiiiiising

Yup - there I was, pounding the streets, even as the sun poked its nose over the horizon. It was nice - quite chilly but clear and fresh. Lovely.
Well, once I got over the initial thing of having no energy it was ok - I wonder if this is a sign of the low-carb diet working - I certainly don't get the highs and lows from having too much sugar, but whether or not this is the path to racing snakiness I have no idea.
Unlikely, frankly, as I still pack in loads of sugar in the form of fruit and alcohol.

But at least I've been for a run.

Next time (Thursday) (probably) I will do the same route (about 10k) but in reverse. As in going round the loop in the opposite direction, not running backwards. Just to shake things up, make them a little bit more exciting and unpredictable. That is how sad and dull my life has become.

44' 40", 4.67miles, 9'33" per mile, 530 cals

Something's not right - surely it's fewer calories than that?
aha - my weight was in settings as 100kg. Not quite that fat.

It's good news though - the settings were wrong cos I have a new ipod (hurrah). Hopefully I won't have to recalibrate the thing...

And, note to self - am far too old to run off a hangover. I had to curtail the run (missing out to loop by the observatory) and I had to walk for a few mins to catch up with myself. Glad I went though, it's never a waste of time. (convince yourself)

Niggles - left heel is aching, I think it's an achilles problem and I don't know what to do about it. New shoes? New tendon? Don't know. I don't think it's rest as I hadn't run for a week thanks to the dead ipod situation, so I think that would qualify as a rest, wouldn't it?
I felt quite strong today which was nice - well, strong but sick (cos of the hangover no doubt) but I'm still not all that fit - I would not finish the 1/2 marathon next weekend if I had gone in for it. Quite glad I didn't although I would like to think there is another 1/2 marathon in me before I croak. Perhaps next year? The plan is to go on holiday earlier next year which would mean a better run up to it in terms of training. (As if that's a consideration...)

So, done, dusted, showered, fed and ready to enjoy the bank holiday weekend. My cup overfloweth.

The dead ipod story continues

It was the lesser outcome - a replacement for the dead one. I know I should be grateful they're exchanging it and all that but I would have at least liked to get a different colour. Plus there was the added annoyance of not being able to get it exchanged on my first visit - apparantly you have to book a genius to get anything done there (Don't they trust their non-geniuses to make decisions?) AND they didn't have the right one in stock so I have to wait for it to come in and then go back again (third visit) and collect it. Meh.

And, no, I can't get going for a run when there is no ipod to listen to. Although, if they don't let me have a new one today/tomorrow, I will have to force myself out and run with only the sound of my own internal voices to amuse me.
Scary.

RIP ipod #2

I've killed another ipod.

The screen had the white horizontal lines at the weekend (see previous post) - but at least the thing was working.
But by yesterday the screen was covered in white lines. So I did the reset thing when you hold the menu and centre buttons down together - and the screen went totally blank white.
So I plugged it into the laptop - AND THE THING SQUEAKED - I kid you not. Ipods shouldn't make a noise.
I tried the restore option but it wouldn't have it.
Result - one utterly dead ipod.

So I'm taking it back to the Apple store this evening and the result I want is an upgrade replacement - one with the built-in radio and video camera - as a goodwill thing. We'll see how much Steve Jobs loves his customers...
What I will probably get is this one repaired or replaced with another identical one. I will have to steel myself for the confrontation.
Wish me well...

(ahh - what if they say it's my fault and won't do anything????)

BTW the upshot of the ipod tragedy is that I didn't go for a run this morning as I didn't have anything to listen to: can I force myself out on the pavements with no aural stimulation in future?
Watch this space.

Not literally.

Sunday Morning

It was a good run. Didn't have a lot of energy - obviously the low-carb thing is kicking in... - but I did the downs including the observatory without passing out or vomiting so I guess that's a good sign...
My ipod has broken again. Not sure if it's cos I carry in in my hand when I'm running and it might get sweaty. I put it in a bag if rice overnight but it hasn't helped: if anything after the run this morning it was worse. I will take the bloody thing back and see if they can mend it, but I am so out of love with ipods. I don't like the thumbwheel thing as I don't think it works very well. Perhaps I'm just too familiar with them. Either way if I didn't have the macbook I would think about getting a mp3 player which works.

Just Not Fair

I run - at the moment I run 3 times a week (well, in a good week) more than 15 miles a week in fact.
I go to the gym 3 times a week
I do yoga on Mondays
I cycle to work usually 5 days a week, about 6 miles a day
Why then am I so fat and getting fatter????

OK I do accept I drink too much wine and I don't consider my calorie intake particularly carefully (loving buttery toast), and I know that's got to change, but I did believe when I joined the gym almost a year ago, that I would at least get thinner if not lighter. Well I've put on a few pounds since joining and I think I might have lost an ounce or 2 of actual fat, but I am still carrying 10lbs too much disgusting fat.

I actually thought when I went on holiday that I looked ok in a bikini - well I didn't. Self-delusion is a terrible thing.
For example - running up the slope from the holiday house (an unmade-up track, steep) I was putting a lot of effort into the run, and I was OK with taking 5mins 40" over it. But when niece did it in under 3 and a half mins I completely lost heart and started hating myself for being so utterly crap. I embarrass myself.

So this is the time to end the self-delusion.

I'm not a good runner - I'm an adequate jogger and would never break the 2 hours for the 1/2 marathon even if I dragged myself off the couch to train for it.
I can't just eat crap and think it doesn't count - everything counts. A hangover fried breakfast DOES count even though it feels like medicine. The answer - don't have hangovers.
I am getting older and this makes a difference - hormonally fat gets laid down a lot more easily and is harder to shift therefore I have to consume fewer calories and keep up with the same (or more) level of exercise

Life is not fair - some people don't have an issue with putting on fat, they just don't get hung up on eating, or their metabolism is different. Other people don't seem to care one way or another what they look like and they seem quite happy to live with that. I don't have that kind of confidence. It's the same kind of fairness which means that no matter how much effort I put into running, someone with longer legs will run right past me with no effort at all. I can't get hung up on that - I am a shortarse and that will never change. So I have to live with it.

So, Atkins or f-plan or what? Am cutting down on bread and especially sugar, will cut down on the wine. And generally eat less that I have been. It can't be that bad can it, considering I think I comfort-eat a lot, so all I have to do is think happy thoughts and the flab will melt away.

Or I could get a tape-worm...

omg a nice run - apart from the toe issue

So it was a 6am start, weather fairly perfect really. And it was fine. Really, pretty much fine. In terms of leg aching and lungs bursting, it was one of my better runs.
But I have this toe thing. My little right hand toe (right foor toe?) kind of curls under the rest of them and gets squashed. This results in a massive 1/2-toe blister. Which has been ok - the last one's been and gone but left an edge where it rubs even more. So ater 1/2 an hour or so into the run I can feel the squashedness coming back and my toe starting to hurt.
It's not nice and I don't know what to do about it.
I have thought of surgery - possibly a bit extreme.
A splint to straighten the toe out but that would probably make it worse.
Amputation - again a little on the extreme side of things.
So what can I do??
Vaseline to make it slip around rather than squish? (messy)
Plaster to corset the thing a bit - have tried that  - am worried it's going to make the next toe in get blisters.
Different shoes - another £100 on trainers - would be worth it is there was some kind of guarantee with the things.
It may go away.

blighty

Well, I'm straight back into the old routine of Sunday morning runs - and it was ok. Nothing like as hot as I've been used to, but that's probably not a bad thing.
Just did a trip around the downs, without the loop by the observatory, so it was pretty easy - but I still had to walk for a few minutes as I felt faint. No idea where that came from, but there you go. Useless!

no more bestest miles

I did run as hard as I could for a while this morning but didn't get another fastest mile thing from some american sportsperson. hey ho

Also, I got lost on the way back - there I was coming down the evil track towards the house, thinking about angels' wings (don't ask, but I've been reading 'angelology' this week) and when I came to my sense I realised I didn't recognise the bit of road I was going down. In fact I was about to get to the neighbours' house. So I had to about-turn and go back up the 100m or so of hill I'd just come down and take the right fork in the road which took me back to the safety of the holiday home... What a nit.

encore une fois

Yeah yeah yeah another run in the baking heat, aren't I just a marvel? Surely a medal is all but in the post right now.
Funny how once you get over yourself things like going for a run become very mundane events.

Fastest. Mile. Ever

Have now done 3 runs here in the s of f. None of them has been particularly pleasant, what with the heat and the danger etc etc, but this morning's went quite well.
I got to the top of the track from the house and pootled around the local hamlet and failed to find the door with all the feet tacked onto it.
Then I headed off down the road towards La Guard-Freinet and turned back at the junction. When I got back home, I turned off the nike+ thing and whaddyaknow, but here comes Tiger Woods no less to tell me 'congratulations, you've recorded your fastest ever time for a mile.' Whayhay, really.

foreign running

Shortest. Run. Ever.
Well, it was very uphill, unmade roads, traffic dangers etc etc and I actually felt proud of the fact I ran for 3 miles. It was also hot as we're in the south of France at the mo on holiday. So I think I'm allowed to lay off the running a little. But I will go again another morning I think as it will help counteract the copious amounts of wine and beer and cheese I seem to be consuming...

Last British Run

Before going to France tomorrow that is.
I wasn't going to run this morning but frankly there was no reason not to. And I'm glad I did, now that it's over.  I didn't feel particularly energetic so it was a struggle but I"m pleased to say I did the full run round the water tower, about 6 and a bit miles. More than enough in anyone's book.

one of the last runs...

..before going on holiday.
I think I will take my trainers even though it's likely to be so hot I'll have to run at 5 am... Seeing that written down makes it feel less and less likely it's going to happen...
This morning's was OK - was disappointed that I didn't get that brief feeling that I was enjoying it. And then afterwards I got the distinct impression that my old knee problem was beginning to recur. Age, it's not for the faint-hearted.

Early one morning just as the sun was rising...

There was a moment this morning when I realised I was actually enjoying my run. I was about 1/2 way through, 3 miles or so in, the sun was shining, I was on a very (very) slight downhill bit and there was nothing wrong with my knees, my feet, my head, my ipod... Will this moment ever come again? It didn't last all that long, but it was truly very nice.

2 run update

I did do a run on Sunday but for some reason I just didn't blog about it. Possibly cos it really wasn't all that interesting - no aliens, no freak hailstorms, no eureka genius moments. Nothing. Nada. Just 5.9 miles in 56'05" which is 9'29" a mile and naturally 590 calories.

And of course there is this morning's run as well - another 6am ish start which is OK but now the days are getting shorter I just know my huge enthusiasm for early morning runs will undoubtedly fade... But for now I'm getting out there, soaking up the business news on Today and hating the first mile or so.

But my new passion is the Tour de France - I am loving the lads in lycra and their weird sense of fair play (that's aimed at you, Bertie Contador) - I mean, isn't it supposed to be a race, fcs? Can't wait for today's stage - another pyreneean palaver. Bring it on.

why?

It was raining again this morning - not great, but it didn't rain the whole time.

I had to walk for a short while which was annoying but perhaps just got me enough energy to keep going. I missed out some of the route to get back home - but I guess it was still about 5 miles.
It just all felt a bit rubbish, frankly.

And then when I got home I weighed myself for the first time in a while and I found out I've put ON weight. This is despite the new regime of 3 runs a week, 3 gyms a week, cycling to work every day and yoga on mondays. I know I haven't cut back on calories but if 'they' are to be believed then upping your exercise is enough to make you lose weight. What's going wrong here?

Now I feel there is no point to any of this - I might as well eat and drink what I like and give up the exercise cos it seems to make no difference. I know this isn't true but some days you just have to wonder - 'is it all worth it?'

early morning in the rain

It seems Summer is on a break and we're back to winter weather. Except it's not cold, just rainy and dark. But in truth, once you're out there a bit of drizzle doesn't hurt - it's the darkness that gets you. Waking up with the sun streaming in through the curtains is great - when you can't tell if you've opened your eyes or not - not so super.

But the run was fine, usual things, usual radio stuff - except I mistakenly tuned to 1xtra just before 7am and got very confused. Quickly found R1 once more and relaxed. Sad, I know, but I do find R1 quite amusing and takes my mind off the pavement-pounding in a way R4 just doesn't.

And then I cycle 5 miles or so to work. And go to the gym 3 times a week. If there was any justice in the world I would be super-model skinny by now. I mean, just cos I eat too much and like wine by the bottle rather than the glass (oh, and the small matter of being middle-aged) I am still the shape of a weeble. But with legs. And I do wobble quite a bit, but also fall down.

greugh 47'20" 9'35"/mile 4.93miles 493 cals

Of course I already knew that a bottle of wine the night before won't make for a good run in the morning, but I did it anyway. And had a rotten run.
I could learn from this experience
Even leaving it til 1030 didn't make it any better.
greugh, indeed 

btw do you think they work on 1mile = 100 cals??? I have my suspicions

routine

Well, it's almost becoming a routine this early morning running thing. I see the sainsbury's delivery van as I cross Gloucester Rd, I see the prison staff arriving for work with their carrier bags (presumably with their lunches inside) and I listen to the business news on Radio 4 then change to the nonsense of Radio 1 and lighten up for the journey back home.

It takes about an hour, and I think it's over 6 miles which I find quite amazing. Not sure if this link will work...
http://gb.mapometer.com/en/running/route_689625.html

And then I walked to work which seemed far harder work than cycling the 6 miles... I can only hope that it's doing me some good and I'm not just piddling in the wind.

And by doing good I mean making me lose the flab as well as being fitter and healthier. I don't feel healthy right now I feel knackered. And in need of a veggie sausage sandwich...

another morning another run

It all feels a bit routine now - is that a good thing? Or should I still be in the mega-congratulatory stage and think I'm being wonderful???

So, yeah, another pre-breakfast run. And it was ok really. Feel good for having done it and not dreading the next one.

Of course boyf decided he was going to do one as well and probably ran as far as I did but managed to do it 20minutes faster... Such is life

5.92 miles, 56' 09", 9' 28"/mile, 592 cals

Hurrah - a feel-good run.
Apart from being exceptionally out of breath heading up to the observatory.
On the last mile or so I really went for it and got my speed up to 8 1/2 mins a mile which is quite impressive for me. (There is an element of endorphin still knocking around me I reckon)
So I feel quite pleased with myself - but there is a downside - by putting in this extra effort and getting some sort of result from it - will I have to continue doing this and try harder and harder each time? Most of me wants this to get easier and easier, not harder. There might even be a danger that if I did do the 1/2 marathon again I might really try and beat 2 1/2 hours. And that would mean dedication and commitment. Hmmm.

Sometimes I amaze myself, you know

Yes, it's true - I went for another pre-work run this morning, about 5 miles I reckon.
If life was fair I would now have the physique of a racing snake but the truth is somewhat different, more blistery and sweaty than supermodelish. Hey ho.
So I just have to keep this going a lot and I will reap the benefits one day. Or I will simply stave off the effects of old age a little longer. Or, in the case of my knees, accelerate them.
Have to work out why I'm doing it really. I do feel fitter and stronger than I have for a while which is nice, but I'm still the size and shape of a middle-aged woman and I have no idea how that happened...

Get me

Look at this will you - I've only been on a run today - BEFORE work - only 2 days after the last one.
Am getting rsi from patting myself on the back.
In truth it was to make up for a day of sloth on Monday where I did nothing other than watch tennis and eat toast, 2 of my favourite activities.
So there I was, 0615, running up the road wondering where the sun had gone and why it was raining. But I kept going, all the way up to the downs then chickened out a bit as I was getting tired, and didn't put the loop in round the water tower, but headed home. And I felt good for going. Perhaps I could learn from this?
Didn't use the nike+ thing cos I wanted to listen to the radio which I find more distracting from the little voices in my head telling me to walk for a bit (is that just me?)
And now I am resting on my laurels having also cycled 5 miles or so into town - can I stay awake all day though - might need to catch some zeds at lunchtime...

55m 23s, 5.65miles, 9m 48s/mile, 565cals

It's incredibly hot right now - getting up to 30c today they reckon. So it had to be an early run or nothing - 9am is quite early isn't it?
I did the run round the downs with the trip up to the observatory - which is a hell of a hill climb. At the top I remember thinking 'I am a long way from home'...

But I got back all right and felt I've done myself some good. Still old and fat of course but at least I've done a run today...

1h 13mins 42s, 7.48 miles, 9m 51s/mile. 0 cals again

Feet aching, small blister on toe, feeling of invincibility - I must have been for a longish run. Actually forget the last bit, I feel like I'm about to fall to pieces.

Success!

1hr 9mins 51sec - 7.19 miles - 9'42" per mile - 0 calories again

So this was success in the sense that i managed to get out of the house to run and managed to go a long way. Now of course my bum aches and the sides of my calves ache and I feel like all I want to do for the rest of the day is collapse on sofa and watch the grand prix and perhaps some gentle internet surfing.
But isn't that what Sundays are all about!!!

So, should I go in for the 1/2 marathon? Seeing as how doing 1/2 that distance has just about wiped me out I'm not sure how good an idea that would be - but there are still 3 months to go and it's a matter of building up to it now rather than beginning from scratch... But it still remains a hell of a long way to run and my legs are aching.

3 weeks later...

...and I have been for a run. It was jolly hard work, but because I was dropped off at the water tower, it was mainly downhill which made it a lot easier. But less challenging.
Wish I could suddenly be as fit as I have been in the past without all this training malarky.

4.21 miles, 40 mins, 9.29/mile, and 0 calories for some reason. Can't be right.

Getting better

Well, I did run again after that last disastrous one and it wasn't so bad

Then last weekend I went for a run along the seafront at Whitstable - it's the nearest I'll ever get to running for sheer pleasure... I love the sea air and the flatness of the course... It was only 35 mins or so and I'd forgotten the nike+ thingy, but I felt a lot better for going and it made the day of eating and drinking seem a little less reprehensible.

43'19", 4.45 miles, 9'43"/mile, 435 cals

Had to walk. 3 times. Felt rubbish.
Possibly something to do with the wine last night and the lack of breakfast. But still crap.

46'17", 9.31 min/mile, 4.86 miles, 474 calories

OK - how do you get ipods to put a podcast into a playlist? There I was a-running, wanting to listen to the Friday night comedy thing from radio 4 - and nothing. The music was there, but no podcast. Very, very annoying

The run was good though - fantastic weather for once, and I actually felt good. Towards the end, I even put more effort in and went faster, but I'm not sure how long I could keep that up. Does that even matter? The important thing was I felt good - hips aching just a little, the  slightest of twinges in my achilles, but really, nothing to worry about at all. Now I am just waiting for the weight to fall off me...

6.21 miles - 59'21" - 607 cals - 9'33" / mile

The one thing I've discovered about the whole running around to get fit lark is - it's bloody time-consuming.
In order to get going, I now have to stretch - a lot - 6 stretches, each held for 4 mins or thereabouts (sometimes I wimp out cos it hurts too much)
Then I have to decide what to wear which takes ages because now it's getting hotter, I don't want to cover up so much but I do want to conceal my wobbly bits with something tied around my middle. And my long trousers are in the wash, my tight cropped ones are ugly and my baggy cropped ones are ugly and a bit too small, but I have to go with those.
So now I'm up and running - and I go further than I have for a long time - over 6 miles according to the nike+ and when I finish a nice American lady who's probably very famous in America - pops into my ear and tells me I've done very well. I don't feel patronised at all...
But I haven't had the ache in my hip joints which I've had for a long time now. As long as I remember to lift up my knees and make sure my core bits are busy. There is also an element of that chi running - trying to lean forward in order to keep going and that seems to make some daft kind of sense.
So that's all lovely.
Then I see myself - bright red face, quite alarmingly so.
The shower seems to have a blockage, but I need a shower so badly I get in and just paddle. But when I get out, I'm still bright red, so there then comes the make up challenge of piling it on to cover up the red without looking like I'm wearing make-up...
And at last I'm ready to face the world - it's a lovely world today, all sunny and a weekend... but I'm having to spend most of the day getting prepared to be seen out in it. I know I'm probably a bit over-sensitive about such things, but the reality is, as you get older it takes longer and longer to look like you haven't spent hours on getting ready to face the world. Sometimes I do wish I was one of those people who genuinely don't care what people think, but then I look at them and feel they ought to make a little bit of an effort. Am I very shallow?
Possibly.
It's now been an hour or so since I finished and my arse is aching, but in a way suggesting it's been exercising, rather than anything injurious. Slightly worrying achilles heel twinge... So getting old also includes loads of extra aches and pains, but I think I knew that already.

Calibration news

mapometer - 3.62 miles
nike+ - 3.6 miles
I think the nike+ might be calibrated - yay! About time too and all that. There is still the issue with my crap ipod not working very well and it takes several goes to get anything through to the thing. Not happy with it, but at least it's something to listen to while struggling with the terrible realisation that I'm out on a run and suffering from being old and decrepit. Either that or a bit unfit.

For some reason my return button's not working. Hmmm








 - well it it - cos look, I'm way down here now, but it didn't show on the screen.
hey ho - now it's working again
life's rich tapestry and all that 

Double done it

1. I have been for a run - hurrah. Not the most elegant as I am feeling very fat and unfit, but it's done. I just did the short run - about 3.5 miles - but it's a start.
2. I have calibrated the nike+ - amazing, I know. I used Sefton Park rd as a measured distance (0.3 miles) and ran down it first, managed to mess up the calibration, so did the run and came back the same way and the lady in the nike+ said it was successful. So next time I drag myself out, there should be some kind of accurate measurement.
We shall see.
My aim for the next few weeks is to do 5 miles twice a week, plus the gym and cycling. That should shift some pounds. Oh, and cut out the over eating. I would like to think I could lose half a stone by May (about 6 weeks)
Again, we shall see.

I NEED MOTIVATION

I'm feeling overweight, depressed, under the weather, unfit - and a whole heap of other negatives, so I ought to be throbbing with motivation to get out and run.
But I'm just not.
It's grey and cold and miserable outside. And I'm scared of not being able to run. I don't like the thought of the 'out of breath feeling' and the aching legs. Even though all that is temporary and unimportant.
And I know I will feel better once I've been. And it will do me good even though I have serious doubts about that. 
So why the hell can't I just get out there and go for a little run?

A level playing field

Well, if not a level playing field, then level hips and shoulders...
The osteopath discovered my left hip is way higher than my right and my left shoulder is way lower than my right. It was quite a marked difference - and a little unnerving and embarrassing really.
But, after a session of manipulation which was curiously enjoyable despite the pain, I seem to be well on the way to being far more level headed. (See what I did there)
It explains why I've liked running on a camber which drops off to the left - it was my body crying out for levelisation
So, with all that sorted there are no excuses for not running like the wind and becoming one of those irritiating people who live to run and get all twitchy when they can't. Are there?

More spending

Spending, this time, is on an osteopath to get rid of the niggles - the niggling lower back pain, the niggling shoulder pain.
If it works, it's money well spent.
I know there'll be an element of me having to do stretches and exercises at home, ones which I expect I would get from going to yoga more often, but sometimes by simply paying someone to tell you to do something, it makes it a gazillion times more likely that you'll do it.
That is the theory...

day off work...

...and I went out for a run - how very.

Really hard work but, like going to the gym, never something to regret.
Except when I go for a long run and mash my feet and toenails.

So now I have to up the distance, up the frequency and up the nike+ calibration efforts.

I have run!

...and it was horrid - hard work and painful - but at least I was out there in the glorious spring sunshine pounding the Downs with a load of other people. I think it's cos it was sunny and it really feels like spring is round the corner - at loooong last.

I think was the Bath 1/2 marathon today - how I ever dragged myself round the Bristol 1/2 all that time ago I have no idea.

I still haven't calibrated the Nike+ but it's ok I will get round to it sometime soon. I wanted to listen to the radio today anyway - the Archers omnibus, how very middle-aged...

Spring is sprung...

...and that means it really is time to get the nike+ calibrated and get some serious running under my belt. And it's going to happen very soon. Honestly, it really is.
For instance, this weekend I may very well calibrate the thing and take it for a run.
Or I might just calibrate it.
No point in ploughing in there all guns balzing and risking an injury is there.

Pigging nike+

I think I have it sussed at last.

The instructions for calibrating the nike+ left out a whole step. Now that I've worked it out, I really truly believe I'll be able to calibrate the thing.

Hooray  :)

I'm sure it must be doing me some kind of good...

It's like this: I've started down the road to middle-agedness by developing sciatica. At least I think that's what it is. It's pain in the right place and I don't like it, makes me feel OLD. Harumph.

The gym doesn't do it any harm, ibuprofen helps a lot, but I think the key to curing/alleviating it is actually yoga. After my first session for about 6 months last Monday, my back felt fine. It's come back since then so I've been trying out some stretches to see which ones unlock the pain. I think I'm getting there. I blame it partly on sitting at a computer for hours at a time at work, and also cycling as I'm not sure my bike's the right size for me, I could do with further away handlebars I think.

But despite the agony, it hasn't deterred me from going for a run. Amazing, a mere 3 weeks after the last one.

Only 3 1/2 miles, but according to the pigging nike+ thing, over 4 miles run at a very respectable pace. Much as I'd like to think that was all down to me, I know it's cos I still haven't calibrated the thing yet. And only today I have found out that the instructions were missing a step - no flaming wonder I was getting cross with it. But you have to calibrate it over less than 1.25 miles which is hardly a run, is it?

Still, it was horrible, I am getting increasingly unfit and despite what the lovely people at the gym say, it's not just me being out of practice, it's cos I is a fattie. I have less back flab wobbling around than I used to, but my arse is still astonishingly large. I am going to have to bite the (chocolate) bullet and cut down on calories as well as pile on the miles...

Oh happy day

Annoying

Well I dragged myself out for a short run this morning - the first one in a couple of weeks - mainly to calibrate the nike+. Except I messed up somehow. I blame the sodding ipod - the thing is useless - it's impossible to do anything with the wheely thing in the middle as it just goes backwards and forwards rather than staying where you put it. Plus I did press the wrong thing to calibrate the run.

I've since worked out (by looking in the instructions...) that you put in the distance you're going to run BEFORE you set off rather than try and mess around with it when you finish and are all sweaty and shakey.

And this was after 3.57 miles, hardly a marathon.

I do feel stronger than before I started going to the gym, but there is still the issue of not having the puff to keep going with any sense of ease. I know it's from not running very much and I also know it will get better. But not that much better as I am getting older and it'll be increasingly hard to make a difference. I would just like to lose some flab through running and to feel the benefits of being a fit and middle-aged person...

Up on the Downs

Well, I have been for a run with the nike+ runny thing which works - but needs calibrating for me - I can assure you I did not run over 5 miles at just over 8mins per mile yesterday. Quite a lot out really - 4.8 miles in fact.
But it's very good - tells you how fast and far you've gone when you stop your 'work out' and then you plug it into the computer and it gives you a picture of your run - though sadly not on a map, it's a read out of the speeds you've gone over the distance.

But it's a nice nerdy thing to have.

And it was very hard work and I felt like a middle-aged desperate housewife trying to get fit - not far off the truth. And I sadly thought that the reason my fat wobbles less now is cos my new top is one of those compression things (not a proper one, but it's very snug) so perhaps my efforts in the gym aren't really worth it - but I can't believe that as I now have biceps.

But I will continue with the wobbling round the downs - it's getting harder the less I do (obviously) and I have to remind myself to keep my knees up and not slump into energy-saving mode.

Please tell me it's worth it!!!

Shoe thingy

I have now got the nike+ thingy which the thing goes in and you attach the thingy to your shoelaces.

But it's big - way too big for what it's used for really - you could put a key or something in it but most trousers or tops have a zip-up pocket something for that kind of thing.

Of course Nike want you to go out and buy their special shoes with the thingy built in but even £5 for the separate thingy is better than £???? for even more new shoes.

So now I need warm runny clothes and I can head off towards the running horizon (or am I simply making excuses not to go when the weather is SOOO COLD???

The Big Plan

Today's Big Plan is to go for a run.

But - it's very cold (there is black ice on the road which means I don't want to run locally and might drive up to the downs for a grassy run - but I have to drive on black ice as opposed to run on it - what's better???)

Also I had a curry last night and you don't want to know the rest...

But there's another but - I feel sluggish and crap and would like to think I have done a run already today. It's just that getting to that particular stage requires that I go for a run...

Later...
I have been for a run - hurrah and huzzah and everything. It was really hard work though - I have got quite unfit through being sat at home/at work and although I do go gymming I don't do the aerobic stuff so much. And afterwards I reckoned I was completely free to eat whatever I wanted all day.
So many new year resolutions to take up over the next few days...
Still, I am mighty pleased with myself and am happy to have kicked off the new year's running. Wonder how many miles I'll manage this year - if only there was a gadget which told you how you were doing.. oh, wait ;) - as soon as I get plumbed into the world of nike+ I can bore anyone who cares to listen about my progress.

New Year, New Gadget

I still have the Nike+ thingy to help me play at running and I promise I'll get it working as soon as I get a thingy to attach it to my shoe. Looking forward to hearing the motivational comments as I run and then letting it work out how far I've been and all that.
And perhaps work up to some sort of a goal (might that be the 1/2 marathon goal again???)

So, no, I haven't been for a run for a while - too flipping slippy on the ice if you ask me... But tomorrow I might venture out - any advice to stop slipping on the ice?? Socks over shoes??

I am slightly looking forward to running again - I am now a regular gym-bunny but nothing quite beats the freedom of running the dark cold mean streets... apart from a nice hot bath and a cheese toastie maybe... Reminds me - it's time to run off the Christmas excess...

post-Christmas pre-New Year

I now have one of those nike things which tells you how far you've run and that sort of thing,

Haven't tried it out yet of course, but I may well do so tomorrow... After all this is the ideal time to work off all the over-eating, over-drinking, over indulgence of the past few days.

Haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday (it's now Sunday) so I may also have to go there tomorrow as well. hmm sounds like a lot of exercise - but I do have an awful lot to catch up on...

Really truly cold

Barely above freezing - gloves, shorts (huh?), fleece, etc etc
And less than 5 miles, and with a hangover.

Still, it was some kind of run, can't deny that.

I admit I'm not as fit as I was, it was hard work, but I think the calf thing is dealt with. I do get pains down the outside of my left thigh and hip now. Possibly something to do with IT band again I don't know. But I do know I need some long trousers if I'm going to keep it up.

Obviously I go so regularly now - almost twice a month - I am in danger of getting obsessed...

I have finished the 3 month gym thing and it was worth it. I've signed up for regular gymmy stuff - but I already have missed a session - as in not going 3 times a week like i thought i would. But it was snowing today and I couldn't get the car out and I was busy and a dog ate my homework...

Off and Running

Oh my god - did 5 miles or so this morning and nearly killed myself.

It was ok to begin with but then my hips and thighs and whatnot just kind of seized up and became fairly painful. I did finish though (not sure if it's a good thing to run through such agony, but we'll see tomorrow...)

So is this the start of running recovery or just another step down the road to decrepitude?
It's my birthday tomorrow so at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I've crossed into middle 40s with a gym membership I use and having just run 5 miles.

It's still raining

Haven't been running due to rain

I'm going for a run this morning and it feels like a big deal. I have a new top - get me - and it's cold and windy. I haven't run for about 3 weeks and last time my calves ruined it.

But this time, I've been working out, getting stronger (really???) and am hoping I can at least do about 3 miles without getting hurt.

Not looking forward to going out in the nasty weather though.


Later...
I did 3 1/2 miles or so and so trouble at all from my calves - result!! I also felt stronger, as in lighter in a weird way and marginally less wobbly (all good) but there was a new pain down my left leg which I'm putting down to starting to run without being all twisted round - might take a bit of getting used to - but I'm assuming it's a positive thing...

Also I felt a lot less fit than before - but then I haven't had a proper run since mid-September. Another thing to work on...

But generally, positive. Very happy. Don't want to turn into some dreadful, chair-bound slob of a middle-ager. Not that I'm much more than a couple of runs away from being exactly that.

Oh, and the new top was a triumph.
:)

Another gym session.

It's with the new machines and they're not too bad to be honest. The inner thigh one will takes some getting used to (although you get a stretch as well as a workout at the same time!!) and the calf thing was ok and the rotary core thing wasn't as bad as I'd feared - I probably wasn't using it right.

It's like starting over again though - and I want results I can feel quite soon and my worry is I'm getting off course by bringing in new stuff... but I know I have to view this whole gym thing as a long-term project, not one that ends after my 12-week programme finishes. (I have yet to decide what to do at that point - do I sign up for another 12 weeks, or become a regular member and pay for extra 1 to 1s? I just don't know - I would think they'd chat through the options when the time comes)

But generally things are OK. I'm eyeing up new kit for when I'm back out running - but it's so hard to buy online when you can't try things on - but it's so nice getting stuff sent to you through the post... but then you have to return it if it's wrong - but it's like getting presents... hmmm)

Haven't been running this week - but am on road to recovery (apparantly)

The gym people say I'm wonky when I run which is making one leg take all the pressure and hurting my calf. Well, I know I'm wonky cos when I run in the mud my right calf has mud kicked up it and my left one doesn't - something wrong there.
So now I"m changing tack on the weights machines and I'm being strapped into some medieval things - core strengtheners mainly which are tough - and one which specifically does your calves - very, very painful as your calf muscles are really quite small. The worst aspect though is that the main core one, a twisting one, is the machine which faces incoming people. Always hoped I would never have to get strapped into that one...

I'm almost 1/2 way through this 12-week programme - what do I do after it? The temptation is to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labours - but those fruits will last about 4 weeks and I'll be back to square one. So I have to sign up to the place for a good while longer I reckon - and I'm getting on, I mean I don't want to be the oldest person there (which I'm not yet)

Hey ho - it feels good to be doing something positive about it rather than moaning about it!

Getting bored of this now.

Went for another run yesterday - just around the downs so nothing excessive. But I only got 1/2 way and my calf muscle went again. It's so frustrating to be limping across the grass while everyone else is running past. Today it's still painful and it's the day I have to keep going up and down stairs of course. And cycling up to the gym in an hour as well. Grr.

So what can I do? I have to wait until it's better before I can run again of course but beyond that I don't know how I can prevent it happening again. I've been investigating Chi Running - which is American I think and no one's doing it over here - but it uses gravity to propel you along rather than the power of your muscles. It guarantees pain-free running for miles and miles - what's not to like? Thing is I can't even have a go yet cos my bloody leg hurts so much.

Congratulations to Jenson Butten btw - what a star and he throughly deserves the title.

Nothing much to report really. Other than I've done no more running (in case my poor calves explode, but they're feeling better now so I have no excuse) and I have twigged what the gym is all about.

It's all very well saying 'you have to go to muscle failure' but the fact is, you only know when you get there what that feels like - and it was nothing like what I had been doing before.

Oh no.

You pass through the 'bit wobbly and it might hurt a bit tomorrow' period and do a couple more reps - and then you go for the last one which is where you cannot move the bar any further no matter how hard you try. And then you hold it there for 10 seconds.

It goes against your instincts for survival at the basest level - as in, there is no way you should put yourself in a situation where you can't escape from a sabre-toothed tiger, but there you are, doing doing just that.
The other downside is afterwards when your wobbly arms and legs are wondering what the hell's happened to them, getting onto a bike or into a car is just the strangest feeling. Add to that last night and a cretin had just about boxed me in and I was manouvring the car, parked on a steep hill I might add, with uncontrollable arms and legs...
Interesting

Am I starting to feel the benefit? Not sure. It's not dramatic, but I think I feel a little mroe confident and less flabby - or that could be me trying to justify all the effort that's going in to the gym.

OK I've been back to the gym for my 1-to-1 and it was ok. I still haven't really got the hang of the ab crunches though - I can't breathe, apparantly that's a technique thing I will need to work on.

So he's putting up the weights on most of the things - hmm, not sure how that will feel other than impossible. But the idea is that you don't work longer than 2 mins on each machine - which means you have to get to the point of muscle failure in that time, and I have been going for too long on some of them. Apparantly the look of distress on my face isn't enough to allow me to stop working and maintaining a calm face is also quite important.

I mentioned about the excrutiating pain I experienced in my mashed up calves and it would seem (as I kind of suspected cos I'm good like that) it's because as one lot of muscles is strengthened the others have to work harder/differently to compensate and it's not surprising there are pressures here and there.

He also said it meant that the effect of the exercise might take longer than for most people to happen. Hmmm. Too old, too feeble to begin with - but perhaps a more dramatic outcome? By Christmas I will be happy with the way I look? (It would have to be most extreme for that to happen)

Well, the pain of the workouts is acceptable - but that probably means I'm not working hard enough. Apparently you have to go until you really really cannot move anymore - not just a bit wobbly and can't do the slow speed, but truly cannot move a muscle.

But that pain is nothing compared with the pain I've suffered this morning.
A 6-mile trot from home, nothing dramatic, but towards the end, my calves started aching. Odd, they've never done that before. But it was bad enough for me to have a walk and then they clamped up. Couldn't believe it. Tried to run a bit further and it was like all the bounce had gone from my legs. And walking was soo painful.

I've stretched them out but it hasn't really made much difference. I will just have to rest for the rest of the day, you know, watch a film, perhaps some light blogging, that sort of thing.

It's a worry though, I mean, running is my main exercise - the walking and cycling to work is just enough to tick over, the running is the real effort. I'm not exactly going for anything right now, but this is something else I have to worry about. Perhaps I should ask Moti and see what they suggest in terms of stretching... but I did buy trainers from them so I hold them entirely responsible, nothing at all to do with my ageing physiology

Another day, another workout... And it's fine.
I don't like the intense pain of the exercises but it stops fairly quickly. I really hope it works. I mean, I know they said it wouldn't be until 8 weeks or so before I saw any difference, but already I feel energised after the workout which has to be a good thing.

And then, this morning I went for a run! I know, I know, get me etc. It was very hard work cos I guess I used up a lot of energy pumping iron ;) but I made it round the downs (4.3 miles) which I was pleased with.

And the thing about sugar - I have definitely cut down on sugar and I don't think I'm missing it. I don't get the awful feeling when my blood sugar plummets and I feel faint and dizzy, but neither am I getting that wonderful sugar rush after a bun or a chocolate... I believe what they said about it being a poison but it really helps make life, er, sweet...

So will this be a successful chapter in my long and patchy exercise history?  I do hope so - for once it's something which doesn't fill me with dread, as how bad can a 20-minute workout be? (I will find out on Monday after my first proper 1-to-1 session...)

The day of my first work out. I feel amazing. My arms are all wobbly and for once it's not cos of the flab but cos of the effort! I think there was an element of endorphins going on as well as it lasted all of 20 mins (6 exercises all done to the point of not being able to do any more, hence the wobbliness)

So how do I make this part of a new routine? 1 to 1 on Mondays, then back on Weds and Fri? or I could come on Saturday mornings and then go for a run on the downs - 2 birds, one stone, always an efficient option...

I feel so positive that this is going to do me the world of good, I hope I don't let myself down and offset the good stuff with too much wine and chocolate. But if I do go the distance and really see the benefit it means Christmas wan't have to be too restricted (or at least I will do myself less harm through over-indulgence...)

My last day of this deal with the gym is on my 45th birthday - officially heading into middle-age. Should I turn up with a big, fat, sugar-loaded cake to celebrate???

This is the day I begin at the gym and possibly the first step on the route to the next 1/2 marathon.

Bit ambitious maybe, but you have to start somewhere.

Am quite nervous about the gym thing - I know it's going to be tough and I will feel feeble and foolish for thinking I can improve. But I hope it will be inspirational as well. I'm sure the guys there are very supportive and I won't be the weakest or oldest person they've ever had to deal with.

It's for me, all this, not to make me look good compared with other people - I have to feel better about myself and that will be done by losing flabbiness and feeling stronger, perhaps running better and not having a really hurty shoulder from time to time.

So, an hour's induction and inspiration today, another trip before the next session and then start feeding in runs and yogas...

I have to do this for me!

later
It was good!! This is a gym where they don't believe in multiple reps and staggeringly heavy weights - it's about working until you can't work any more and then stopping. Sounds too good to be true.
We shall see.

Apparently I will begin to notice a difference in about 8 weeks - I have to be patient and keep going. I will then have 4 weeks left on the programme and by my birthday in December I'll really feel the benefit.
All it will take is motivation, determination, perspiration, and many other -ations and I will take over the world.
I mean, be slimmer and happier in myself...

Bristol Half Marathon 2010

I know it's a long way off yet, but here's where I start working for it!

I have joined a gym (for the unfit, aged and generally hopeless cases) in the hope I can build up some muscle and lose some weight (oh - wasn't that pretty much my plan for entering the 2009 half???)
But this deal means an hour a week with a personal trainer and unlimited use of the gym the rest of the time. I know a couple who go there and they say it's brilliant - it's not all about upping the reps and pushing til you explode, in fact it's about doing everything really slowly up to your muscles' limit. So, yes, there will be a red face involved but apparantly it gets results.
It's only for 12 weeks - til my birthday - so even if I don't feel it's me, it's not forever.

I am already carbo-loading in anticipation of my first session next Tuesday afternoon.

Hmm.

Not much happening on the running front these days. It would seem that the incentive to run was to get fit to do the 1/2 marathon and now that's gone I'm back to not running.

Perhaps the incentive to run ought to be to work off the appalling amount of excess middle-age spread weight I've piled on recently...

(Note to self - carbo loading is only acceptable for a limited time before a long run - it's not a lifestyle choice)

It's all over

I feel very sad about it actually. Annoyed with myself for not being up to the challenge and sad that I missed out on the event I've been training for.

I know there will be other runs and so on but right now I feel I've missed out.

Boyf had a good run and I felt proud of him when he crossed the line. I know I would have failed - either that or done myself some long-term damage. And a stomach upset didn't help.

All in all a bit of a disappointment really.

So this has to be the start of getting myself properly fit - to achieve all the things I set out to do when I entered the race back in whenever it was. I will keep running, do more yoga and aerobics, be an all-round wonder I guess.

Not too much to aim for is it???

I'm almost defintely not going to do it.

I went for a 5 miler this morning which was fine - heart and lungs are magnificent... But my lower legs (and bum for that matter) are a different story. I am getting pains down the sides of my calves - not achilles area - and my left heel is still aching. As I run I get pain in my upper hamstrings which stabs down my legs from time to time.

I have (almost) decided that it's daft to try and run on Sunday. My big fear is getting to the 10 mile point reasonably OK but then hitting the bit where my toe hurts, my foot siezes up again and there is still more than 3 miles to go, that's over half an hour. I don't want to walk, I most definitely don't want to be struggling along with everyone cheering me on like I'm one of the red-faced plucky but sad cases who feature in the TV round ups. (I had that fear last time)

But there is still a part of me which desperately wants to do this - well, I want to have done it. I have to ask myself if it's worth the risk of injury to do this one run. I can book any number of 10ks which I know I can do (even though I freaked out a bit on the Bristol 10k)

Now I'm sat at work with my little toe hurting, my heel aching and my lower legs periodically spasming. It's not looking good is it?

Perhaps this is where my new life of healthy and varied exercise begins. It was always going to happen after the run, perhaps I just bring it forward a couple of weeks (cos the week following a run is a rest week) and get stuck in.

But I so wanted to cross the finish line in a blaze of glory

Perhaps I will

It's Thursday - 3 days before the Big Day. Hmmm. Not feeling too hopeful.

I'm still looking for proper excuses not to do it as I know it'll be tough and ultimately pointless in the overall scheme of things. But I know on a personal level it will do me a power of good to finish (or a heap of harm if I don't...)

So I'm going to do 5 miles tomorrow morning and see how my ailments and injuries hold up to the strain. Either I will be fine in which case, bring it on, or else everything will be made much much worse and there will be no question about running on Sunday.

Am undecided which outcome is favourite....

I am looking for excuses not to do the thing now.

I know I hurt my toe on Sunday, but it's getting better. The aches are easing, although my right lower leg bit is still a bit sore.
But I am recovering.
Therefore, surely, there is no particular reason not to go for it this Sunday? I know it'll be tough, especially if it's hot. And I am in the slowest group - but I have to do it only for myself, it doesn't matter a damn that other people will be faster than me or will do it without pain - this is only for me.

So, what do I get out of doing it? Apart from pain.

Thinking back to 2006, the moment of crossing the finish line is euphoric, and there are few opportunities to feel that way so I should grab it with both hands. Or feet.

I am just dreading the final few miles where there will be loads of people looking to laugh at the wobbly people and I will be in pain - on Sunday I really thought there was no way I could have gone further - certainly not running. And I don't want to put myself through that.

I don't know yet.

I have been accused of not really training very hard, and that hurt.

Hurts.

After half an hour it's my left side - bum, ankle. After a hour my right bum joins in. After 90 mins my feel start aching, especially my right one. After that, my right foot seizes up and everything gets little more serious.

Amazingly, heart and lungs are fine - especially after running up to the camera obscura and up the cross country hill by the zoo - those bits seems to be more invigorating than knackering.

But, feet. Now there's a problem.

I had a blister on my little toe which seemed to be healing up fine, so it was duly strapped up in a plaster and seemed ok for a while. When my foot stared hurting, it felt more like a stiffness coming into it, but then the real pain began and it was all coming from this fiendish toe.

So I get in, and unpeel my socks and there it is - still, in essence, my toe, but in addition to the seriously gross dead skin from the old blister is an enormous, deep blood blister. mmm.
Feel very annoyed and puzzled as to what the hell to do about it. I'm not planning on another long run before next Sunday - might even be presuaded not to run at all frankly - so there is a good chance it'll heal by then - but how to stop it coming back??
It's not a chafing issue (I had none of those today, hurrah) it's cos my little toe is a freak of nature and curls under the other ones so it's getting squashed all the time.
It's a problem...

Distance: 11.73 with some of those up steep hills. It's still 15 mins short of the real thing though which would put my time at 2h 10 - down on last time - but I am 3 years older and about 1/2 stone heavier. Not that I should be looking for excuses. After all, surely I should be applauding the fact that I can run over 10 miles with only minor inconvenient injuries.

This time next week I may have finished the Bristol half Marathon. Not sure if I deserve to do well as I haven't trained properly for it - none of the cross training you're supposed to put in, and apart from training runs, I cycle or walk to work, but done none of the yoga and pilates I had been doing, and certainly none of the body pump or aerobics which might have made a difference.
Last time I just wanted to finish - this time I know deep down I want to do it faster - but I will have to settle for the glorious feeling of crossing the finish line without making too much of an idiot of myself by coming last or having to have a sit down along the way.
Fingers crossed.

Good luck to everyone running next Sunday - let's hope it's cool.
xx

Dear blog

I haven't run since Tuesday, partly cos my ankles have started to ache (they're getting better now)

I just don't feel up to it

My over-riding feeling about this 1/2 marathon is anger - I am so cross with myself for entering it. I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest (other than finishing, if I get that far)
It's meant I've had to run long distances which frankly isn't the best way to train - there should be some cross-training and fast runs and so on but I've done nothing like that (I do cycle or walk to work but once there I'm sitting on my fat bum all day)

What was I thinking? I was watching the London Marathon and believing it's simply a case of not stopping, of just running easily until the finish line. None of the pain of training, the days of feeling stiff and tired, or blistered and chafed. There is nothing to recommend that side of things. Nothing.
I have a plaster wrapped round my little toe where it's blistered, I have raw patches round my waist and on my legs from where my trousers have rubbed. My back aches. What's to like?

Perhaps if I'd put myself up for sponsorship I would feel more motivated, but the main motivation was to get me out doing exercise, losing weight and feeling better. I am fatter now than back in April and I feel lousy.

I know this is all my problem, there is no one else to blame.

I still have to make the decision whether to do the run or not. I'd feel guilty if I didn't cos there are lots of people who would like to have entered (they could have my racechip) but I also have to consider the possible cost of doing it - apart from all the physical pain, if I fail to finish the damn thing (or even, if I'm honest, if I walked part of the way) I will be disproportionately devastated; I will feel I've let myself down and I am useless. All very dramatic but I know there will be a high pric to pay for failure.

Now I sound like a Bond villain.

This is awful - I've finally gone over 10 miles (10.55 in fact) but it hurts so much. I have a massive blister on my little toe which is going to take some time to improve. And everything I wear seems to have some kind of chafing effect somewhere on my body - I'm running out of options.

I feel like I'm at least a week behind in training for this thing. I felt at the end of my energy today when I finished, although I guess it's different during the event and also there aren't the hills I put into training...

My neck aches where I'm tense. My feet ache cos of fallen arches. My bum hurts - really bad twinges today which feel like I want to call them sciatica.

I still have the option of not doing this, and I am sorely tempted - from the look of the course by the time we get into running the nicer bits around town it'll be after 9 miles and I will be too knackered to care.

Hmm.

Oh and also I needed more energy - I ate an awful lot yesterday for one reason or another but a small bowl of bran flakes this morning really wasn't enough. I guess I need to invest in some redbull or something for a kick.

But the worst thing is the little toe blister I think.

Getting too old and fat for this sort of nonsense.

Well, this morning was a different kettle of fish.

I did a longish run - the 9.22 miles (still haven't cracked the 10 miles...) and apart from the really sore bum, little toe blister, spasms of lower back pain, it was ok.
I swear I feel better after I've done the run up the steep hill. It's horrible at the time but once I've got my breath back, I feel stronger.
I know I have a long way to go yet but now I feel far more positive than I did after the last pathetic run.

I was trying work out where I would be on the day if I was doing the 1/2 marathon course, and I'm working on the principle that the end of the cut, after the portway, will be about 9 miles - so in theory I had reached the latter stages of the race, where it gets more interesting around town, but also where I am going to feel the pain soooo badly...

I would like to get this over and done with - not looking forward to it at all.

This is awful.
I couldn't manage a short run this morning - like, less than 5 miles. I set off intending to do a shortie but just got more and more tired and eventually just walked.
I felt terrible.

I know a lot of this is in your head, but my head was so out of it this morning it was terrible. Can I go on? I am planning to get over 10 miles on Saturday morning but at this rate I won't get to the end of the bloody road.

Can it work that you go in for the run and not know you can make it? On this morning's performance I know I can't make it. If the run was this Sunday I wouldn't even bother trying. I have 2 weeks and 3 days to decide. Unless I can do 10 miles (further would be better) I won't start the race. Plus I have to remember what I was like at the start of the 10k - I was too hot, but I also needed the loo and felt like walking all the way round. Sheesh I hate being so bloody weak.

Everything really hurts. My hamstrings feel wrong and my glutes (assuming I have some and it's not all just flab back there) feel rubbish. I don't know if it's to do with the nerve that runs down the back of your legs (sciatic???) or just lazy muscles but there is such an ache going on today.

I did the 8.2 miles round the downs route at 620 this morning which was OK - I felt strong enough and not too much out of breath, I even got a rush of endorphins after doing the hill climb which was nice - but all the time the back of my legs felt like they were weak or just slightly absent. Odd feeling and I can only hope it doesn't get any worse.

My plan this week is to do a short but faster (ha!) run on Thursday and then a 10-12 miler on Saturday morning. I am not looking forward to that - if the legs weren't aching it would be ok, a mental challenge more than physical, but right now I just want to go to bed.

I ought to have a look at the 1/2 marathon route to visualise what's happening where and when - as in, where on my training can I expect to be starting along the portway - Oh I hope they don't make us go along by the cut after the Portway - that would be mean...

9.22 miles

Only 4 miles off the full course.

Can I do it? Still not sure.

It hurts. My hamstrings aren't very good.My right foot hurts (have mashed my little toe). My shoulders ache. The list goes on.

And my ipod's not working properly - I blame the radio add-on.

But, in truth, I have run over 9 miles and it took an hour and 35 mins (still on approx 10 minute miles, which means a slower 1/2 marathon time than last time...)

And when I get back I wonder if it's worth the effort. I can't imagine setting off and doing it again and I am still overweight. And I have to fit in runs around work now which means setting off about 6am to get it done before work - and possibly cycling in to work to add on to the training effort.

But, I did do the hard uphill bit round the downs and thought my heart was going to explode - but then that feeling went away and I began to feel very good. Endorphins perhaps...

I don't know. Should I go for it and expect to do it more slowly than last time and to struggle to finish? Or give in and just drink wine and accept the ageing process...

Well, at least I went for a run.

Didn't much feel like going (no change there) but heroically forced myself into the old lycra and headed off into the morning greyness. Regretting, I might add, the wine I had last night. Never a good preparation for a run as I don't believe wine drinking can be classed as carbo-loading.

So I did a far from impressive 3 and a half mile run. Didn't enjoy any of it as I was so tired and lethargic.

This week I have to get up to 10 miles and next week it'll be 12. Chances of that happening seem to be getting ever more remote.

OK it's been a while since I last ran (5 days in fact) but I did major cycling and walking at the weekend and I think they should count.

However. I have just 'treated' myself to a run along the towpath alongside the Avon which is something I've wanted to do for a while - after all, great scenery, flattish path, what could be better???

So I looked up on the map an 8-mile route (as in found the 4-mile point where I could turn round) and went for it. And it was good - a change from the route round the houses and downs I've been doing so for that reason it was a success.

But - I was struggling. Whether it's cos I overdid the cycling and walking at the weekend, or the major part of a bottle of wine last night, but by half way back, I was having stern words with myself to keep going. I had to fight the urge to let myself go all floppy and middle-aged and to keep strong. I tried to get hooked onto a horizontal wire pulling me forward over the ground and that seemed to work for a while but it made me run too fast and I could feel the energy running out...

My left hip was aching a lot and my feet weren't too happy either.

When I got back to the car I saw I'd been out about an hour and a half which I reckoned made this a 9 mile run - hurrah. Except when I looked it up properly it was only 8.55 miles. Not much more than my last run around the downs which I felt much happier doing.

1/2 marathon? Who am I kidding?

Oh good grief

I did a 8.2 mile run around the downs and it was mainly ok. The secret is to keep in the moment - the second you think about finishing, getting home for a cup of tea etc, you're lost.

So I did the whole thing, trying not too be too bouncy, to keep shoulders and elbows down, don't lean back etc etc and I know it's the right way to do it, cos it feels more efficient, even though it's much harder work at the time. I need to build up the muscles which allow me to do that - when I was getting tired and I started running like a middle-aged woman it uses up far more energy.

And now I am in a quandry - yesterday I was all for not doing the 1/2 marathon - who am I kidding? Too old, too fat. But today I am more confident (even though I'm still 4 or 5 miles off the distance) but it means I will have to really be determined and focused and I don't know if I have it in me...

Hmmm

Jeez
Am very tired - I thought I'd added on a huge loop around the downs onto my normal 10k-ish run. But then I did the mapometer thing and found out it had added about 1/2 a mile.
Must do better.
And faster, longer etc.

Moti rang me on Friday to see if I wanted to sign up to a 1/2 marathon weekly training session. It is tempting but it's £15 a pop and it's at 11am on Sunday by which time I would prefer to be home, washed and fed.

No, I think I will have to battle on and just accept that I will have to run twice as far, in public, as I have been. But this will take place on one particular occasion and time not of my choosing.

It's a test of character and determination, of drive and chocolate.

And it's in 5 weeks.

Can I fartlek? Can I heck as like.

Really didn't want to go this morning but bravely got over myself and went for it.

And now I hurt: there is something wrong with my right leg, I'm sure. It's probably a consequence of IT band crapness but I can't seem to run with my feet going in a straight line - the right one kicks out. It's making my legs ache as I run and after as I was walking into work both legs felt really tired and achy.

Perhaps I will concentrate on stretching more - I did an extreme stretch in yoga at the weekend which really hit the spot (maybe I overdid it???)

I am doubting my capabilities of working up to the 1/2 marathon over this - I think I can do the fitness side but if it's going to hurt so much it feels like an injury - where's the point in that? Feel a bit down to be honest.

It's becoming routine - get up at 6, run 10k, ache, have breakfast, ache more at work. Collapse when home from work. Neither particularly interesting nor particularly dreadful.

It was hard work this morning for some reason. I set off with my laces tied too tight which made my feet ache so I had to stop and sort that out, but then it was ok.

However it was lovely and sunny this morning which always makes it a happier experience. And it meant the ipod didn't play silly buggers for being damp. Mind you all I listened to was Chris Moyles who is 50-50 irritating and funny. Far funnier than Today, and I can't bear listening to Wogan (sorry but I was brought up as a kid listening to Wogan and there is something unnatural about still listening when you're knocking on the door of middle age) (or indeed well along the hall of middle age and progressing towards the kitchen)

So another one done - can't quite bring myself to work out how long I have left before I have to actually do the 1/2 marathon - I have yet to steel myself for the longer training runs - possibly the first one this saturday???

It's been a while, almost a week, since I last ran. But it wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be.

I did the usual 10k sort of thing in just under an hour so that's all OK.
My big worry was I went to yoga yesterday and I am very stiff from doing that - but once I got going it didn't seem to make any difference to running - and I felt very good from going to yoga, so I ought to continue with that.

But, hmm, ipod. I do not like the thing. OK it's very clever and all that, but useless when it comes to trying to change from radio to songs or anything which needs the touchwheel - it there is any dampness on the thing it does not work. Nothing. Bloody useless.

Can't imagine running without it though - I would continue my paranoid nightmares which keep me awake at night - I need something to take my mind off reality.

And can I double this distance to get into the 1/2 marathon in 7 weeks, 6 days???

So I did the 10k this morning.
Nothing unusual happened.
It rained a bit but that wasn't too bad - more worried about the ipod getting damp than frizzy hair...
Roll on the next time. ha ha ha :)

So achy.

I don't know where the pain is exactly, that's the problem. I think it's coming from the top bit of my hamstrings, but right now it's in the bit above the back of my knees on the outside. Possibly IT band again? I did the stretch where you cross one leg behind the other and bend forward and that hurt a lot so I guess the problem might be there. But is the solution there also??

This morning I did the 10k up to the downs and round the water tower and although I don't feel I'm progressing all that much I know I put in more effort than usual. Did it pay off? Really can't tell, other than the increasing ache which may be a good thing. The run took just under an hour (which is the same pace as my 10k run in May) so there's nothing exciting happening in that department.

I guess I am aiming for finishing the 1/2 marathon rather than coming in under 2 hours. I think deep down I can do it, but it will kill me. Perhaps I shouldn't be such a wimp??? (I am seriously beginning to believe I really do need the go-faster shorts and hat)

I am trying to convince myself that I went through the same feelings last time I went for a 1/2 marathon, namely that despite putting in more effort on runs, I don't seem to be improving. As in they're are still as tough as they ever were, and I don't feel I'm going faster or futher.

However, I know I'm going faster cos I'm pushing myself harder, so I must be improving, the trick is to improve until I can run 13 and a bit miles in under 2 hours. And there is only 8 weeks to get there...

Hmm

Even the purchase of new shorts or a hat isn't going to make that any easier...

This morning, up to the downs, the 10k route, felt good. Legs are a bit stiff and heavy (hence the feeling of no improvement) but other than that it was all fine.
I have to come to the understanding that I can improve - I do run faster for a time during these runs, and it's not impossible (even though sometimes it feels like I'm going to expire) and, if I get my head around it, I know I can run further. The question is, am I up for the challenge?
And will it continue after the event? I do hope so (as well as all the other promises of yoga and body pump - life's too short to do everything (or should it be life's too short not to do all that???))

10k
1 hour(ish)
enough calories for a super sarnie lunch!

Round the downs, plus camera obscura - a little under 5 miles but by golly there are some hills in there.
Not too painful - the shoes seem to be working as my left hip isn't giving me the grief it has been doing - hurrah. It was quite hot which made it harder work that it merited but hey ho, job done.
Then I went home and ate biscuits which totally ruined any weight-loss effect the run might have given. Stupid really cos if I could lose the weight I would be able to run better. Simple.
And I would like some new shorts to run in - ones which are slightly baggy so they don't ride up my tree trunk thighs. I have a number of crosses to bear, physically.
Apart from that, it was OK and managing to get up the hill to the camera obscura is always a thrilling achievement!

After the disaster that was the run in my new shoes on Tuesday, I wasn't holding out much hope for this morning's efforts, and promised myself a curtailed run just as far as Waitrose and back.

But it was fine. It was still really far too hot and I had to keep crossing the road to get into the shade, but I had plenty to drink, plus a dollop of sugary cordial for an energy boost and I ran all the way around the 10k route.

Hurrah for me, eh.

I know the key to a lot of this is stretching - my arse bits need loosening up - is that Glutes? Outside bit of lower hip area sort of place? Whatever they're called, they are tight, man. It comes from sitting down at a desk all day and rarely going to yoga any more.

Another key is the core strength to stop my back aching like an aching thing and pushing everything off-kilter.

So basically I have my work cut out if I'm ever going to get around the 1/2 marathon, let alone manage it faster than last time (2h 5m 55s) let alone getting under 2 hours.

But I'll give it a go!!

Next daft purchase - hat.