Just Not Fair

I run - at the moment I run 3 times a week (well, in a good week) more than 15 miles a week in fact.
I go to the gym 3 times a week
I do yoga on Mondays
I cycle to work usually 5 days a week, about 6 miles a day
Why then am I so fat and getting fatter????

OK I do accept I drink too much wine and I don't consider my calorie intake particularly carefully (loving buttery toast), and I know that's got to change, but I did believe when I joined the gym almost a year ago, that I would at least get thinner if not lighter. Well I've put on a few pounds since joining and I think I might have lost an ounce or 2 of actual fat, but I am still carrying 10lbs too much disgusting fat.

I actually thought when I went on holiday that I looked ok in a bikini - well I didn't. Self-delusion is a terrible thing.
For example - running up the slope from the holiday house (an unmade-up track, steep) I was putting a lot of effort into the run, and I was OK with taking 5mins 40" over it. But when niece did it in under 3 and a half mins I completely lost heart and started hating myself for being so utterly crap. I embarrass myself.

So this is the time to end the self-delusion.

I'm not a good runner - I'm an adequate jogger and would never break the 2 hours for the 1/2 marathon even if I dragged myself off the couch to train for it.
I can't just eat crap and think it doesn't count - everything counts. A hangover fried breakfast DOES count even though it feels like medicine. The answer - don't have hangovers.
I am getting older and this makes a difference - hormonally fat gets laid down a lot more easily and is harder to shift therefore I have to consume fewer calories and keep up with the same (or more) level of exercise

Life is not fair - some people don't have an issue with putting on fat, they just don't get hung up on eating, or their metabolism is different. Other people don't seem to care one way or another what they look like and they seem quite happy to live with that. I don't have that kind of confidence. It's the same kind of fairness which means that no matter how much effort I put into running, someone with longer legs will run right past me with no effort at all. I can't get hung up on that - I am a shortarse and that will never change. So I have to live with it.

So, Atkins or f-plan or what? Am cutting down on bread and especially sugar, will cut down on the wine. And generally eat less that I have been. It can't be that bad can it, considering I think I comfort-eat a lot, so all I have to do is think happy thoughts and the flab will melt away.

Or I could get a tape-worm...