Quite literally: I was struggling on the hills this morning. I'm blaming it on having 2 halves of 'Double Standard' last night at The Urban. (That means something to me, I'm not going to explain it) It was my birthday so we went out for a fish pie (I know how to celebrate) and the beer came with it. And I didn't even have fish pie (always rebellious) - I had moules frites and smoked mackerel pate which had added horseradish - something I will add to my own in future.
So, that's a lot of nothing before I start on about this morning's run.
It felt very tough: I know I am carrying a lot of extra weight which doesn't help - in fact, it's the single thing which makes running such a challenge. But now I have got my birthday out the way I am going to turn things around health-wise. I know I keep saying it - but until it becomes ingrained into my every waking thought and I believe, not only that I can do it, but that the pain will be worth it - I am setting out to fail
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels: it's a dangerous concent for anyone who might have an eating disorder - but it is the truth as far as motivation for weight-loss is concerned.
4.7 miles
10m 16s pace
8 Dec 2018
2 Dec 2018
short and wet
'Oh, it's OK', I thought 'I will run in this light rain'. And so, I did and it was fine: the hairband kept the worst of the rain out my eyes and the earbuds lasted until the last 10 mins or so (spoiler: I have just left Helen and Freddie about to be eaten by pigs - Tracks, final part)
So mostly good. But I hadn't considered my poor phone. I hope it was OK stuffed up my sleeve, not too damp up there.
It worked enough to record my stats - which are both good and bad. Bad because I only ran 3.29 miles but good because I ran them in 9m 50 a mile.
So, I'm taking that as a win.
I read about a revolutionary face washing product yesterday - a cloth that cleans your skin, taking off all makeup, even waterproof mascara (a bold claim and one which rarely delivers in my experience) and it was only about $20 - as in, only available in the US. But I read down a bit and it turns out it's a microfibre cloth - just like the 5 I got for £3.50 the other day. So I tried it and it actually works. Who'd have thought? A second win. My life has taken an upturn and I can better tackle the weight and alcohol issues which threaten to take me down.
So mostly good. But I hadn't considered my poor phone. I hope it was OK stuffed up my sleeve, not too damp up there.
It worked enough to record my stats - which are both good and bad. Bad because I only ran 3.29 miles but good because I ran them in 9m 50 a mile.
So, I'm taking that as a win.
I read about a revolutionary face washing product yesterday - a cloth that cleans your skin, taking off all makeup, even waterproof mascara (a bold claim and one which rarely delivers in my experience) and it was only about $20 - as in, only available in the US. But I read down a bit and it turns out it's a microfibre cloth - just like the 5 I got for £3.50 the other day. So I tried it and it actually works. Who'd have thought? A second win. My life has taken an upturn and I can better tackle the weight and alcohol issues which threaten to take me down.
26 Nov 2018
Tinnitus
One of the main vexations of running is how loud my tinnitus seems when I get home. Is it because I've had headphones on or just raised blood pressure? Is it actually getting worse and I should go and have another scan? I wish there was a cure.
It took ages to get out the door this morning - not because, well, running - but I've added even more stuff to my running kit: there is now a headband which I've had for ages and makes me look like a nit, but keeps my ears warm and hides the worst of my hair - and I found a little clip for my headphones which stops them moving around my neck. (Not in a strangly way, they just wander)
But I did run and it was OK.
4.80 miles
10m 16s pace. (but I did do one mile in 9m 41 - pretty bloody good for me these days...*
*I've just worked out that the 9m 41s referred to the last mile which wasn't a full mile - it was the 0.8 of the 4.8 miles. Prawn.
It took ages to get out the door this morning - not because, well, running - but I've added even more stuff to my running kit: there is now a headband which I've had for ages and makes me look like a nit, but keeps my ears warm and hides the worst of my hair - and I found a little clip for my headphones which stops them moving around my neck. (Not in a strangly way, they just wander)
But I did run and it was OK.
4.80 miles
10m 16s pace. (but I did do one mile in 9m 41 - pretty bloody good for me these days...*
*I've just worked out that the 9m 41s referred to the last mile which wasn't a full mile - it was the 0.8 of the 4.8 miles. Prawn.
18 Nov 2018
Insane
5.39 miles
9m 54s
I mean - I wasn't aiming to run that far or that fast - I was just doing my thing as per. I went the slightly less hilly route up to the downs which probably helped with the speed thing but other than that I wasn't thinking. Also I had no idea it was over 5 miles. I was thinking towards the end when Tracks finished and I had space to think that a half marathon is about 3 times the distance I was running today, that if I did it again I would want to do a PB which would mean 9 minute miles and that I would like to buy the bf a place in the New York marathon next year. I was rambling.
I did get one of these: Finburst running belt - I wouldn't recommend. The belt is huge and the zip broke before I even left the house.
9m 54s
I mean - I wasn't aiming to run that far or that fast - I was just doing my thing as per. I went the slightly less hilly route up to the downs which probably helped with the speed thing but other than that I wasn't thinking. Also I had no idea it was over 5 miles. I was thinking towards the end when Tracks finished and I had space to think that a half marathon is about 3 times the distance I was running today, that if I did it again I would want to do a PB which would mean 9 minute miles and that I would like to buy the bf a place in the New York marathon next year. I was rambling.
I did get one of these: Finburst running belt - I wouldn't recommend. The belt is huge and the zip broke before I even left the house.
12 Nov 2018
Weight vs speed
It's pretty much a straight line, the relationship between weight and speed: on a graph, it's a 45-degree angle. Simple.
For every lb over 9 stone, I think I probably take an extra 15 seconds per mile. It's just a theory and I can't be bothered to test it, but I feel in my bones I'm right so I'm just leaving it there.
4.76 miles
10m 14s pace.
I have to stick with the reassurance that simply getting out into the fresh air is a Good Thing and I never regret going for a run.
For every lb over 9 stone, I think I probably take an extra 15 seconds per mile. It's just a theory and I can't be bothered to test it, but I feel in my bones I'm right so I'm just leaving it there.
4.76 miles
10m 14s pace.
I have to stick with the reassurance that simply getting out into the fresh air is a Good Thing and I never regret going for a run.
9 Nov 2018
hamstrings give you wings
48 mins
4.79 miles
10m10s pace
After a relatively long time running – which is anything over ½ an hour for me – I get to the stage where the end is nigh, most of my energy is spent and the podcast’s finished. At this point this morning, I remembered I have hamstrings – I don’t use them much as a rule – but when they were added into the mix, I found an extra turn of speed.
It’s biomechanics, isn’t it and ignore them at your peril because they will keep you going in the long run
For example, remembering to keep your elbows tucked in to your sides to stop twisting, remembering to land mid-foot rather than on your heels, remembering to hold your phone in a manner which doesn’t trigger RSI.* (I failed on that score a couple of weeks ago in Whitstable and have been paying the price ever since)
But it does nothing for fat fingers – blood is centrifuged into my hands, making my digits increasingly sausagey the longer the run goes on. Same for the red face* – it’s why I never run at lunchtimes at work (well, it’s one reason, and the best I can come up with)
It seems amazing, considering all that, that someone who’s overweight, knock-kneed and middle aged can actually run. It’s not pretty, but I am running.
One other side effect no one told me about is that it makes my tinnitus, temporarily at least, borderline unbearable: is it the raised blood pressure? Is there raised blood pressure after running? (It's only temporary)
You talk to a (serious) runner and they will tell you they or someone they know, found running cured their depression, anxiety, all sorts of mental health issues. It’s great of course. For me – once the podcast finished and was hoping to get into this meditative state, I found myself over-thinking – ‘am I meditating here, am I thinking normally or am I getting into a meta rabbit hole and thinking about thinking?’ Whatever, I arrived back home with this list of ideas to jot down for the blog.
*I need one of these: Finburst running belt
**my face doesn’t go sausagey
2 Nov 2018
2 runs and part time working
The weekend before I started working 3 days a week (again) I was in Whitstable which, by law, means a run along the seafront. I went the Sea Salter way and really enjoyed it - very blowy and bracing - and I felt very good about it
4.28 miles, 10m 23s
I honestly thought I'd gone faster than that - but the prize is the run itself - and it did help counteract some of the wine and chocolate. But not by much
And I have just returned from a midweek run - this is a non-working day and it is fantastic to have the time. I have to consider every single penny I spend from here on in and make sure I don't end up penniless and alone when I'm old. That's a different story.
Today's story is: 4.89 miles (ever closer to the magic 5 miles..) pace 10m 12s.
Amazingly I ran for 49 mins and 56 secs. It's the longest one for a long time. It was ok - struggling a bit on the early hill at the end of the railway path but the rest of it is almost 100% mental.
So I feel I have achieved something good here. It's 0955 and I have the rest of the day to pursue other interests.
4.28 miles, 10m 23s
I honestly thought I'd gone faster than that - but the prize is the run itself - and it did help counteract some of the wine and chocolate. But not by much
And I have just returned from a midweek run - this is a non-working day and it is fantastic to have the time. I have to consider every single penny I spend from here on in and make sure I don't end up penniless and alone when I'm old. That's a different story.
Today's story is: 4.89 miles (ever closer to the magic 5 miles..) pace 10m 12s.
Amazingly I ran for 49 mins and 56 secs. It's the longest one for a long time. It was ok - struggling a bit on the early hill at the end of the railway path but the rest of it is almost 100% mental.
So I feel I have achieved something good here. It's 0955 and I have the rest of the day to pursue other interests.
9 Oct 2018
Mid week.
Well, that's a first for a very long time...
I'm away for work staying in sunny Solihull. In a very nice hotel with one flaw, more on that later.
So I packed the running kit almost believing that was enough to get me out on the pavements at some point in the 2 days I'm here. And what should I see in reception but a plinth sort of thing with a local map with 3 routes marked out, a number of apples and take-away leaflets printed with the routes. Amazing, right - never seen that kind of thing before (and this isn't some 5-star wonder, it's a Crowne Plaza)
So I had a look at the leaflet and couldn't make head or tail of the directions. I thought the medium length route - about 3.5 miles - looked nice, taking in a park and a pond as it did. But the instructions made no sense. I've figured out since that the colour of the route, the length and the directions are all arse about face. Mildly annoying but also quite funny.
So I looked up a suggested route on mapmyrun and set off. Didn't stick to it. The area's a bit like Sneyd Park - poshish houses and old trees and so on. And I did find the park which had a pond - lovely. I hanker after such a thing in Bristol, but the closest one is probably Eastville and that's a drive away.
But head-wise - I think I really enjoyed it. I felt stronger - not lighter physically, but perhaps a little lighter psychologically - and it was helped enormously by having an unfamiliar place to find my way around. I had to put music on rather than a play cos it was hard to concentrate on a plot as well as making sure I didn't get hopelessly lost. As I got closer to the hotel on the way back I began having these odd thoughts, that I would like to keep going further - a lot further... It was odd, but with a distant familiarity... Why didn't I keep going? I think due to aching Achilles and knowing that overdoing it is never a good idea - the best way is to build up slowly.
2 questions arise: 1. how slowly 2. build up to what?
3.49 miles
35m 56s
10m 16 average
- fastest was 9m 59 - first sub-10 mile in a long long while
I'm away for work staying in sunny Solihull. In a very nice hotel with one flaw, more on that later.
So I packed the running kit almost believing that was enough to get me out on the pavements at some point in the 2 days I'm here. And what should I see in reception but a plinth sort of thing with a local map with 3 routes marked out, a number of apples and take-away leaflets printed with the routes. Amazing, right - never seen that kind of thing before (and this isn't some 5-star wonder, it's a Crowne Plaza)
So I had a look at the leaflet and couldn't make head or tail of the directions. I thought the medium length route - about 3.5 miles - looked nice, taking in a park and a pond as it did. But the instructions made no sense. I've figured out since that the colour of the route, the length and the directions are all arse about face. Mildly annoying but also quite funny.
So I looked up a suggested route on mapmyrun and set off. Didn't stick to it. The area's a bit like Sneyd Park - poshish houses and old trees and so on. And I did find the park which had a pond - lovely. I hanker after such a thing in Bristol, but the closest one is probably Eastville and that's a drive away.
But head-wise - I think I really enjoyed it. I felt stronger - not lighter physically, but perhaps a little lighter psychologically - and it was helped enormously by having an unfamiliar place to find my way around. I had to put music on rather than a play cos it was hard to concentrate on a plot as well as making sure I didn't get hopelessly lost. As I got closer to the hotel on the way back I began having these odd thoughts, that I would like to keep going further - a lot further... It was odd, but with a distant familiarity... Why didn't I keep going? I think due to aching Achilles and knowing that overdoing it is never a good idea - the best way is to build up slowly.
2 questions arise: 1. how slowly 2. build up to what?
3.49 miles
35m 56s
10m 16 average
- fastest was 9m 59 - first sub-10 mile in a long long while
7 Oct 2018
Still steaming
Literally 5 mins after the run - and I'm just decompressing with an icy glass of sparkling water. One of life's pleasures.
49m 15s
4.37 miles.
Didn't actually make a single mile under 10 mins. Am I getting slower? Heavier, certainly. But slower. Is that the point? I mean, if I ever do another Park Run will I try and get a faster time? Is that what I want? Or do I simply want to feel that I run? I want to be part of the running community, to get out into the open air, to get niggly things like blisters and tight hamstrings. (well, not really the niggly bits)
I'm very glad of my bum-sculpting Sweaty Betty running tights - I think I would wobble off the pavement if I didn't have some support.
49m 15s
4.37 miles.
Didn't actually make a single mile under 10 mins. Am I getting slower? Heavier, certainly. But slower. Is that the point? I mean, if I ever do another Park Run will I try and get a faster time? Is that what I want? Or do I simply want to feel that I run? I want to be part of the running community, to get out into the open air, to get niggly things like blisters and tight hamstrings. (well, not really the niggly bits)
I'm very glad of my bum-sculpting Sweaty Betty running tights - I think I would wobble off the pavement if I didn't have some support.
30 Sept 2018
Day one (#76)
So this is another one of those days when I promised I would get my act together, start losing weight and getting my physical fitness back on track...
It's going very well so far (it's 10 am), but I'm very hungry (I'm back on the 16:8 intermittent fasting regime, not that I ever stopped it, just ate far too much the second I was allowed to...)
So, I went for a run which was fine once I set my foot out of the door (motivation follows action, after all)
4.88 miles
10.21s per mile
I followed some of the old route, through the allotments and back up Coldharbour Rd - it was nice to get a different view. It's quite hilly - but at least the hills are at the start.
I would like to do more Park Runs - but I actually want to do more than 5k at the weekends and I only want to run one of the days. Not exactly a terrible dilemma to be in...
I also threw in a couple of 4-minute yins at the end; it's quite alarming how fast stiffness kicks in after a couple of weeks of being a slob.
It's going very well so far (it's 10 am), but I'm very hungry (I'm back on the 16:8 intermittent fasting regime, not that I ever stopped it, just ate far too much the second I was allowed to...)
So, I went for a run which was fine once I set my foot out of the door (motivation follows action, after all)
4.88 miles
10.21s per mile
I followed some of the old route, through the allotments and back up Coldharbour Rd - it was nice to get a different view. It's quite hilly - but at least the hills are at the start.
I would like to do more Park Runs - but I actually want to do more than 5k at the weekends and I only want to run one of the days. Not exactly a terrible dilemma to be in...
I also threw in a couple of 4-minute yins at the end; it's quite alarming how fast stiffness kicks in after a couple of weeks of being a slob.
29 Sept 2018
Congratulazioni
I ran in Sicily on holiday. Well done me, right.
It was a toughie - but then, I am very weighty these days and it was only one run in 2 weeks...
They were running down to a dam then back to the top of the hill and then back down to the car: about 40 mins in total, 35 of which were uphill. But I thought I'd better have a go as I'd packed the running kit. So, we parked about 100m from the dam and set off quite slowly (Yay, I thought) but then turned back and started running up the hill. I conked out after 10 mins or so and knew I'd have to walk - but then I had the genius idea of running back down to the dam, then running uphill a bit more. So I did that. Twice, about 20 minutes of it. I was so out of breath I thought I was dying but there was no alternative but to keep going - and in fact I didn't die.
It was a toughie - but then, I am very weighty these days and it was only one run in 2 weeks...
They were running down to a dam then back to the top of the hill and then back down to the car: about 40 mins in total, 35 of which were uphill. But I thought I'd better have a go as I'd packed the running kit. So, we parked about 100m from the dam and set off quite slowly (Yay, I thought) but then turned back and started running up the hill. I conked out after 10 mins or so and knew I'd have to walk - but then I had the genius idea of running back down to the dam, then running uphill a bit more. So I did that. Twice, about 20 minutes of it. I was so out of breath I thought I was dying but there was no alternative but to keep going - and in fact I didn't die.
9 Sept 2018
So much pain...
Not right away - the pain came later.
The verruca is on its way out - yay!
The achilles pain is getting less - also, yay!
Lugging my lardy arse on a run - same old same old.
4.48 miles
10m 17 per mile
Felt pleased I'd gone out (but then I rarely regret it, it's getting out the door which is the toughest part)
Got back and took my shoes and socks off (one of the greatest feelings in the world)
But then - I stubbed my toe and nearly hit the roof. Honestly, I thought I'd broken my foot. It was the second smallest one which got the worst of it.
However, 10 minutes later and it's gone down a bit - I can still feet a dull ache but the excruciating pain seems to have subsided.
Poor me, right.
The verruca is on its way out - yay!
The achilles pain is getting less - also, yay!
Lugging my lardy arse on a run - same old same old.
4.48 miles
10m 17 per mile
Felt pleased I'd gone out (but then I rarely regret it, it's getting out the door which is the toughest part)
Got back and took my shoes and socks off (one of the greatest feelings in the world)
But then - I stubbed my toe and nearly hit the roof. Honestly, I thought I'd broken my foot. It was the second smallest one which got the worst of it.
However, 10 minutes later and it's gone down a bit - I can still feet a dull ache but the excruciating pain seems to have subsided.
Poor me, right.
2 Sept 2018
A walk in the park
Except it was supposed to be a run on the Downs.
Oh well.
Also - I ran for a stupidly long time - there is no need to run for an hour, is there? I mean the benefits wane after about 45 mins. Plus it's left me with aching calves and front leg muscles (the name will come to me...)
So - it was OK - I had to walk a couple of time through sheer knackeredness - but I think that's ok. I did recall something I heard yesterday - that you may think you've pushed your body to its limits - but you can always do more. (['m very sure there is a limit to thank way of thinking, but it got me home)
drum roll:
1 h - 0 mins - 42 seconds (so technically over an hour...) (but the last bit might have been the time it took to stop the workout - what with unlocking the phone digging down into the app and all that) (but I'm sticking with the hour)
5.82 miles
fastest mile 9'58"
unimpressive but a run nevertheless
Well done me
Quads
Oh well.
Also - I ran for a stupidly long time - there is no need to run for an hour, is there? I mean the benefits wane after about 45 mins. Plus it's left me with aching calves and front leg muscles (the name will come to me...)
So - it was OK - I had to walk a couple of time through sheer knackeredness - but I think that's ok. I did recall something I heard yesterday - that you may think you've pushed your body to its limits - but you can always do more. (['m very sure there is a limit to thank way of thinking, but it got me home)
drum roll:
1 h - 0 mins - 42 seconds (so technically over an hour...) (but the last bit might have been the time it took to stop the workout - what with unlocking the phone digging down into the app and all that) (but I'm sticking with the hour)
5.82 miles
fastest mile 9'58"
unimpressive but a run nevertheless
Well done me
Quads
27 Aug 2018
Do not go gentle #2
Truly I feel pleased I made the effort and actually went for a run. But I rarely regret it (perhaps the time I got a stress fracture was one to forget)
I recently took some advice from a colleague who persuaded me to start very slowly and not get out of breath too soon because that makes you feel awful for the rest of the run. So that's what I did - and I kept up the slow pace for the rest of the run, but that's by-the-by...
I do feel heavy - overweight and burdened with a little depression, with the thought of my life stretching out ahead with no change in the levels of stress I feel... Again, that's something in my power to change. But leaving the comfort of a secure job basically adds to the levels of 'hell, no' I live with.
Anyway - I am upping my blogging game and hopefully making it a bit more readable, informative and entertaining and so on. There are links galore, photos* and confessions - an irresistible combination, right.
5.7 miles
10m 06s
Fastest mile 9m 50s
So I'm happy about that. Not that it takes much...
*I am an idiot - I wanted to take a photo of a lane on the downs which I love - it's flat, straight, lined by trees - but lovely. So I thought I'd be all clever and do this - I ended up with a 3-frame video. Not so clever am I now? Oh well.
Setting off with the intention of being slow worked so well: I was concerned about a niggly achilles which seemed to be permanent but by the end, it had calmed down. The other one was getting twingy though. And my left hip did its thing as well... Age, it's a bugger. In my darkest days, I would have taken the alternative; I'm glad to say I don't feel that way any more.
I have to thank Malcolm Balk for getting me into this style of running – or at least for getting me away from heel-striking. I know following my embracing of his technique I did have 2 stress fractures but I’m prepared to believe they were because I bought the wrong shoes and not building up any kind of strength. I learned my lesson… But I did remember his teachings when I was annoyed about running so slowly – and the way to speed up is to lean forward from the hips and your body will compensate by running faster to stop you falling over. So simple. I need stronger hamstrings though. Well, I need to make sure I keep going to the gym in general, for many reasons and not just for running.
Talking of age – which is one of the themes of this thing as it’s my greatest concern these days – fighting it, accepting it, enjoying it. (The ‘enjoying’ it is beyond me so far)
I have a very common issue, which I share with a great many female runners of all ages and that’s the charm-free stress incontinence oh joy… It’s common, it’s not a worrying thing – but ffs it would be far nicer not to have anything else to worry about. Thankfully I only ever get this while running and it’s not something that’s particularly obvious – but it feel like there’s something catastrophic happening in my pants.
Other age-related things – the Mail Online (which I know is basically click bait for the stupid (I read it a lot...)) had cures for things which no one worries about
I recently took some advice from a colleague who persuaded me to start very slowly and not get out of breath too soon because that makes you feel awful for the rest of the run. So that's what I did - and I kept up the slow pace for the rest of the run, but that's by-the-by...
I do feel heavy - overweight and burdened with a little depression, with the thought of my life stretching out ahead with no change in the levels of stress I feel... Again, that's something in my power to change. But leaving the comfort of a secure job basically adds to the levels of 'hell, no' I live with.
Anyway - I am upping my blogging game and hopefully making it a bit more readable, informative and entertaining and so on. There are links galore, photos* and confessions - an irresistible combination, right.
5.7 miles
10m 06s
Fastest mile 9m 50s
So I'm happy about that. Not that it takes much...
*I am an idiot - I wanted to take a photo of a lane on the downs which I love - it's flat, straight, lined by trees - but lovely. So I thought I'd be all clever and do this - I ended up with a 3-frame video. Not so clever am I now? Oh well.
Setting off with the intention of being slow worked so well: I was concerned about a niggly achilles which seemed to be permanent but by the end, it had calmed down. The other one was getting twingy though. And my left hip did its thing as well... Age, it's a bugger. In my darkest days, I would have taken the alternative; I'm glad to say I don't feel that way any more.
I have to thank Malcolm Balk for getting me into this style of running – or at least for getting me away from heel-striking. I know following my embracing of his technique I did have 2 stress fractures but I’m prepared to believe they were because I bought the wrong shoes and not building up any kind of strength. I learned my lesson… But I did remember his teachings when I was annoyed about running so slowly – and the way to speed up is to lean forward from the hips and your body will compensate by running faster to stop you falling over. So simple. I need stronger hamstrings though. Well, I need to make sure I keep going to the gym in general, for many reasons and not just for running.
Talking of age – which is one of the themes of this thing as it’s my greatest concern these days – fighting it, accepting it, enjoying it. (The ‘enjoying’ it is beyond me so far)
I have a very common issue, which I share with a great many female runners of all ages and that’s the charm-free stress incontinence oh joy… It’s common, it’s not a worrying thing – but ffs it would be far nicer not to have anything else to worry about. Thankfully I only ever get this while running and it’s not something that’s particularly obvious – but it feel like there’s something catastrophic happening in my pants.
Other age-related things – the Mail Online (which I know is basically click bait for the stupid (I read it a lot...)) had cures for things which no one worries about
1. the burden of back fat fat – at last there are exercises to get rid of it. Which work really well along as long as you lose weight
2. the magic pill for weight loss is finally here. It helps you're your appetite which is something which gets harder as you age. So it’s not a magic weight-loss pill, you have to do some weight-loss work yourself.
I was listening to random songs on my phone this morning – there are loads of tracks, most of which have been following me around for years – I rarely download anything these days; I listen to spotify but only on wifi so out on the road I rely on downloaded plays and so on. Anyway – there I was shuffling away and the Foo Fighters came on - long road to ruin – and it reminded me a. it was the inspiration for the name of this blog and b. it was from a long time ago. 2009 in fact (which in itself is 3 years after my ½ marathon) 5 Aug 2018
Do not go gentle into that good night
I feel old at the mo - and it's not getting any easier. Ageing sucks.
I wish I could hope it was going to get better but I don't believe it will. I think that's the point though, right? I mean if you put the same effort in every time, you will get better without noticing. Except that isn't working for me. Perhaps it was last night's wine and this morning's sunniness. I'd like to think there was a reason other than my being ancient and overweight...
3.96 miles
10m 02s a mile
I guess I need to focus on the fact that I'm out running which is basically the only proper exercise I get. And it's more than a lot of people my age do.
I wish I could hope it was going to get better but I don't believe it will. I think that's the point though, right? I mean if you put the same effort in every time, you will get better without noticing. Except that isn't working for me. Perhaps it was last night's wine and this morning's sunniness. I'd like to think there was a reason other than my being ancient and overweight...
3.96 miles
10m 02s a mile
I guess I need to focus on the fact that I'm out running which is basically the only proper exercise I get. And it's more than a lot of people my age do.
28 Jul 2018
Precipitation or perspiration?
3.88 miles
10m13s pace
It's not getting any easier. Apart from the temperature being much lower than for the past few months - that helped enormously and I know I'm going against popular opinion, but it's a relief...
Anyway - there I was jogging away when it started to rain. It hasn't rained for weeks and weeks. So I had to pop my phone into my waistband - and then got concerned that it would get humid anyway... Dilemma. But not exactly serious, right.. .
I am concerned also - more so - that the HRT I've begun is making me put on weight: in theory this doesn't happen, age makes you do that. But in the 4 weeks I've been on it I have put on 2lbs without changing anything. So it looks like I will have to be on a permanent diet and up the exercise in order to maintain a steady weight. And some days I feel like giving up.
And I think I have a verruca which is making my toe hurt.
Life doesn't get any easier does it
10m13s pace
It's not getting any easier. Apart from the temperature being much lower than for the past few months - that helped enormously and I know I'm going against popular opinion, but it's a relief...
Anyway - there I was jogging away when it started to rain. It hasn't rained for weeks and weeks. So I had to pop my phone into my waistband - and then got concerned that it would get humid anyway... Dilemma. But not exactly serious, right.. .
I am concerned also - more so - that the HRT I've begun is making me put on weight: in theory this doesn't happen, age makes you do that. But in the 4 weeks I've been on it I have put on 2lbs without changing anything. So it looks like I will have to be on a permanent diet and up the exercise in order to maintain a steady weight. And some days I feel like giving up.
And I think I have a verruca which is making my toe hurt.
Life doesn't get any easier does it
22 Jul 2018
I am awesome
Well, not to blow my own trumpet or anything (I don't have one) but I ran this morning and actually - get this - put on a little extra loop right at the end.
I know.
Awesome
4.42 miles
10m 9s
So not very awesome really, but it's a state of mind. And possibly something to do with deciding (again) that I have to get my health in order. There are things I need to do more of, things I need to start doing and things I need to stop.
In my head I am a runner. In reality, running less than 5 miles every other weekend does not a runner make. I am not fit enough to really enjoy running. Oh, I read somewhere about the 'runners' high' and how it is a real thing - but you have to run an awfully long way to feel it. Not less than 5 miles.
So is this yet another New Start'? Time will tell. Except it's up to me, not time.
I have begun a Bullet Journal: I'm tracking the things I want to do more of: yoga, run, gym, AFD, I think there's an affirmation page as well - don't do much of that. The thing about these journals is they're a bit addictive - you design pages for projects, for a daily diary, monthly lists and so on. And there is an index which is the equivalent of pockets in dresses - so useful you can't believe you never did it before.
I know.
Awesome
4.42 miles
10m 9s
So not very awesome really, but it's a state of mind. And possibly something to do with deciding (again) that I have to get my health in order. There are things I need to do more of, things I need to start doing and things I need to stop.
In my head I am a runner. In reality, running less than 5 miles every other weekend does not a runner make. I am not fit enough to really enjoy running. Oh, I read somewhere about the 'runners' high' and how it is a real thing - but you have to run an awfully long way to feel it. Not less than 5 miles.
So is this yet another New Start'? Time will tell. Except it's up to me, not time.
I have begun a Bullet Journal: I'm tracking the things I want to do more of: yoga, run, gym, AFD, I think there's an affirmation page as well - don't do much of that. The thing about these journals is they're a bit addictive - you design pages for projects, for a daily diary, monthly lists and so on. And there is an index which is the equivalent of pockets in dresses - so useful you can't believe you never did it before.
15 Jul 2018
running backwards
So - new leggings (sweaty betty sale) - very nice. I also got SB socks - 'technical'socks n fact - but they were a disappointment - a waste of £15 (I know - what was I thinking?) Basically they were slippery inside my shoes and my toes jammed into the end and bruised my toenail. Snowflake problems.
Anyhoo. At least I ran. It was OK - one of those times I got the kit out the night before and didn't give myself the option not to go. And in that sense, it very much worked. Also, I decided I would just go for a jog, no pressure. The lady on Mapmyrun said my pace was about 10mins 18. So a bit lame, but I can't dwell on that.
New leggings were a triumph as well so that's made me very happy.
3.16 miles
10m 10s per mile
How the actual Hell did I ever do a 1/2 marathon in a little over 2 hours?
Anyhoo. At least I ran. It was OK - one of those times I got the kit out the night before and didn't give myself the option not to go. And in that sense, it very much worked. Also, I decided I would just go for a jog, no pressure. The lady on Mapmyrun said my pace was about 10mins 18. So a bit lame, but I can't dwell on that.
New leggings were a triumph as well so that's made me very happy.
3.16 miles
10m 10s per mile
How the actual Hell did I ever do a 1/2 marathon in a little over 2 hours?
1 Jul 2018
Post holiday run
I've been up in Scotland - near Oban - for the past week. It was awesome: a whole week with good friends, lots of wine and lots of food. And very little exercise other than wild swimming in the sea loch which our house overlooked. Goodness, it was cold - but so stimulating: I felt refreshed and alive coming out of it. There were jellyfish floating around but nothing that could kill you...
There was no running despite taking my kit: this was mainly due to the steepness of the surrounding hills and the roads which were too dangerous to run along.
But I did a hill climb from the back of the house up about a mile and a half of stupidly steep hills but with an amazing view from the top. We climbed 732 feet which felt quite a long way.
Today's run - with the added handicap of all that food and wine over the past week:
3.92 miles
pace - 10 mins exactly
So it was a run and I know I have to keep at it before it will do me any good at all. But with a couple of those a week, plus the gym and the 16:8 I believe I will lose the flab I've gained over the past year.
There was no running despite taking my kit: this was mainly due to the steepness of the surrounding hills and the roads which were too dangerous to run along.
But I did a hill climb from the back of the house up about a mile and a half of stupidly steep hills but with an amazing view from the top. We climbed 732 feet which felt quite a long way.
Today's run - with the added handicap of all that food and wine over the past week:
3.92 miles
pace - 10 mins exactly
So it was a run and I know I have to keep at it before it will do me any good at all. But with a couple of those a week, plus the gym and the 16:8 I believe I will lose the flab I've gained over the past year.
17 Jun 2018
Against the odds
Well, it was a run. I didn't use the mapymyrun app, I just did a short run - I don't even know how long it took.
It was tough - I've been drinking a lot recently - a bottle of wine a night is a lot, right? - and last night I had more than that I think. Also, there was a lot of meat involved - a huge chunk of chicken last night and bacon this morning so I feel full of food. And I have put on so much weight (see Wine and Meat) and so running is harder. Add onto that how little I've run recently - plus the absence of other aerobic activity and I am feeling very sluggish.
But at least I went for a run despite everything. And I didn't stop. I slowed right down but kept plodding away. Well done me.
Next week we're away in Scotland for a few days and I will take my running shoes and - as GB has said before - if you take them you have to use them.
So I will. And perhaps I will run one evening this week as well... and next Saturday morning before we go.
Is this really going to happen?
We shall see. (It will be marked in my bullet journal tracker)
It was tough - I've been drinking a lot recently - a bottle of wine a night is a lot, right? - and last night I had more than that I think. Also, there was a lot of meat involved - a huge chunk of chicken last night and bacon this morning so I feel full of food. And I have put on so much weight (see Wine and Meat) and so running is harder. Add onto that how little I've run recently - plus the absence of other aerobic activity and I am feeling very sluggish.
But at least I went for a run despite everything. And I didn't stop. I slowed right down but kept plodding away. Well done me.
Next week we're away in Scotland for a few days and I will take my running shoes and - as GB has said before - if you take them you have to use them.
So I will. And perhaps I will run one evening this week as well... and next Saturday morning before we go.
Is this really going to happen?
We shall see. (It will be marked in my bullet journal tracker)
26 May 2018
hero - zero - hero
Not a great start to the day, frankly. It was dull, rainy and I was up at 0545 to take bf to the station for his trip to Lords. Not Lourdes as we hilariously thought.
But I was determined to go for a run. (Looking back I can convince myself of my determination) I decided I was going to do the Eastville parkrun again - nice distance, lots of people, get a time (could I best the last time I did it? Ooo, exciting, right)
I got there early and popped into Tesco to see if they had insulated bags. (I lead an enviable life) but they didn't. So I basically paraded round Tesco in my running kit looking like a whale.
But, whatever. I went to the bottom of the car park where it's closest to the run and parked up. I was expecting other runners to be there as they were last time, but there was no one. 'It's the weather', I thought to myself. 'Lightweights', I thought, feeling smug.
As I got ready to go up to the park there was one of those yellow AA signs pointing to 'Love Will Save the Day' a weekend festival in Eastville Park
Thwarted
So what did I do next? Well, I went home, fought against my own inertia and actually went for a run.
Yay me.
Very glad I did even though it felt like I was hauling a massive weight around my middle - oh, hang on, it's called my wine belly.
I really do have to get myself in hand.
2.9 miles
9m 55" per mile
It was really short - but about the same as a park run, right? (Er, no. 5k is 3.1 miles)
I so have to get myself in hand. At least I didn't walk...
But I was determined to go for a run. (Looking back I can convince myself of my determination) I decided I was going to do the Eastville parkrun again - nice distance, lots of people, get a time (could I best the last time I did it? Ooo, exciting, right)
I got there early and popped into Tesco to see if they had insulated bags. (I lead an enviable life) but they didn't. So I basically paraded round Tesco in my running kit looking like a whale.
But, whatever. I went to the bottom of the car park where it's closest to the run and parked up. I was expecting other runners to be there as they were last time, but there was no one. 'It's the weather', I thought to myself. 'Lightweights', I thought, feeling smug.
As I got ready to go up to the park there was one of those yellow AA signs pointing to 'Love Will Save the Day' a weekend festival in Eastville Park
Thwarted
So what did I do next? Well, I went home, fought against my own inertia and actually went for a run.
Yay me.
Very glad I did even though it felt like I was hauling a massive weight around my middle - oh, hang on, it's called my wine belly.
I really do have to get myself in hand.
2.9 miles
9m 55" per mile
It was really short - but about the same as a park run, right? (Er, no. 5k is 3.1 miles)
I so have to get myself in hand. At least I didn't walk...
12 May 2018
Park Run
Eastville Park Run - this morning!
It was surprisingly challenging as I'd imagined a gentle, flat course around the boating lake - but no. It's a 3-lapper - one short - then a longer one around the boating lake, then another short one. And half of each lap was uphill. I did run all the way (well done me) but I was with the middle-aged and overweight (what was I expecting?)
Apparently, they send you your time and position out of the runners - I already have an idea of how useless I was. But I did it. The atmosphere was great (it was sunny which helps) and it was also a 'deaf takeover' to make Deaf Awareness Week so I was expecting several of my office colleagues to be there: there was one. I was running behind him a lot of the way and when he stopped after the first circuit to say hello to his baby I thought I could maybe perhaps make a competition of this. He did walk part of the way so obviously I reckoned this was a no-brainer...
There were photographers along the route and I had several moments of terrible self-consciousness. Not that anyone cares other than me...
And then on the final little hill before the finish straight I caught up with my colleagues who was walking and then he proposed a race - and just took off... Mortified.
So that's it - I have lost my Park Run cherry.
Will I do it again? In principle, yes - but I want to have a longer run at the weekend and it kind of interferes with that. No reason I can't run midweek of course. Apart from me being me...
30m 36s
56.92% in my age range
78th woman
282nd out of 433 runners
Fair to middling I'd say
It was surprisingly challenging as I'd imagined a gentle, flat course around the boating lake - but no. It's a 3-lapper - one short - then a longer one around the boating lake, then another short one. And half of each lap was uphill. I did run all the way (well done me) but I was with the middle-aged and overweight (what was I expecting?)
Apparently, they send you your time and position out of the runners - I already have an idea of how useless I was. But I did it. The atmosphere was great (it was sunny which helps) and it was also a 'deaf takeover' to make Deaf Awareness Week so I was expecting several of my office colleagues to be there: there was one. I was running behind him a lot of the way and when he stopped after the first circuit to say hello to his baby I thought I could maybe perhaps make a competition of this. He did walk part of the way so obviously I reckoned this was a no-brainer...
There were photographers along the route and I had several moments of terrible self-consciousness. Not that anyone cares other than me...
And then on the final little hill before the finish straight I caught up with my colleagues who was walking and then he proposed a race - and just took off... Mortified.
So that's it - I have lost my Park Run cherry.
Will I do it again? In principle, yes - but I want to have a longer run at the weekend and it kind of interferes with that. No reason I can't run midweek of course. Apart from me being me...
30m 36s
56.92% in my age range
78th woman
282nd out of 433 runners
Fair to middling I'd say
7 May 2018
Running from tree to tree
Even though I was out of the house by 0830 it was already getting warm. Cool enough under the trees, but the heat is rising. And it's a bank holiday - potentially the hottest since someone invented this bank holiday. So I am soaking up some Vitamin D before it gets too stupidly hot.
I had to walk twice: just not in the zone (again) I reckon when I get a bit fitter I won't have that problem any more. (Convinced, much?)
I was listening to a radio play about a catastrophic loss of all electrical power - and as the power cut began - my headphones died... wooo.
4.21 miles
9m 45s
Quite pleased with that
I had to walk twice: just not in the zone (again) I reckon when I get a bit fitter I won't have that problem any more. (Convinced, much?)
I was listening to a radio play about a catastrophic loss of all electrical power - and as the power cut began - my headphones died... wooo.
4.21 miles
9m 45s
Quite pleased with that
29 Apr 2018
where is the Zone?
I'm still steaming from this morning's run and I have a number of observations.
1. I have left The Zone'
2. I am unconvinced running is doing me any good - or any harm. It is neutral.
3. I need to run more
4. Tinnitus is made far worse by running
1. The Zone. This is where I existed when I lost weight. A lot of weight. I was strong in my refusal to consume calories between 8pm and midday. It worked then - it doesn't work now. I eat far, far too much before 8pm (and often continue after) I drink far, far too much wine which usually drifts after 8pm and makes me ravenously hungry the next day (although there is a part of me which believes that fasting is a better way to cure a hangover than bacon - something to do with resting one's digesting system to allow it to deal with the Poison)
My inspiration in the past has come from Beck Diet Solution and Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Both are outlooks which don't rely on willpower or woo.
They are devastatingly simple to follow and understand - and they work. So, I simply have to go back to those mindsets, right? But my current mindset, the current Zone I'm inhabiting, is that they won't work, that I don't need to follow them, that all I have to do is want to be thin and fit and it will happen - while in the meantime I can watch tv, eat crap and drink wine without suffering any of the consequences. I'm not a stupid person, just blind to my own frailties.
Anyway - I have run and it hasn't killed me...
4.21 miles
9m 44s pace
22 Apr 2018
The Other Blog
half of half a marathon
This is the other blog for the 10k I did many years ago - after the one and only half marathon.
If I do the 10k this year I will be amazed...
This is the other blog for the 10k I did many years ago - after the one and only half marathon.
If I do the 10k this year I will be amazed...
it's all in the mind
10m 29s per mile – pretty bad even for me.
I had to keep walking. Just felt knackered. And of course – once you have a walk then it’s so much easier to walk again. And again. And again.
What’s the cause this time? Well, the physical culprits - red wine yesterday (it was a beautiful day and the wine was lush) and too much extra weight, and too hot, and so on and so forth.
But the big obstacle was all in my head. I just felt beaten. Not a great feeling and I would love to think it was only going to happen this once – but I also believe that it’s ongoing. Unless I change my mindset to ‘I am doing this’ I will flounder.
So it’s all a bit of a downer tbh.
When I weigh less, when I don’t have a hangover, when it’s cooler, I feel fitter and stronger and able to run further.
I am starting (again) to reinvent myself: I’ve been here several times recently, I know, and every time I fail it means there is more of a mountain to climb. I very much rely on the carrot rather than the stick. If I can get under 9st in the next 2 weeks I will feel more empowered to continue, but I have been over 9st for so long now it feels like a permanent state.
For my mental well-being I can’t believe that’s the truth. Not that my mental well-being relies on losing weight - it just doesn’t – it’s just that the feeling of not being in control, of giving in to my inner sloth take over my life – really is all in my head.
8 Apr 2018
It's all in the mind...
...apart from the bits that are in your legs...
It was a cold drizzly start but I still bravely went out. Also a bit hungover so not an auspicious start.
And it wasn't easy - I went up to the downs for a change and it felt good not to be starting off uphill. But it went horribly wrong when I headed down towards the zoo and began heading back up - I simply couldn't manage the hill. I knew if I kept going I wouldn't recover - so I walked for a few minutes. And it worked. I actually got my breath back.
And then as I was almost back at the car I thought I should keep going a bit longer - get over the 5 miles again - but my head was going 'oh you don't have to do that, wouldn't you prefer to finish now - after all you've gone for your run blah blah blah'
But I fought that voice and I went a little further and got further than 5 miles.
Very much yay for me
5,09 miles
9m 48s
I've got some bluetooth earbuds - they're very good except that they're noisy - they bang around as I run. I know I can jam them in harder but then I can't hear the real world. But it's better than having the cables trailing down
It was a cold drizzly start but I still bravely went out. Also a bit hungover so not an auspicious start.
And it wasn't easy - I went up to the downs for a change and it felt good not to be starting off uphill. But it went horribly wrong when I headed down towards the zoo and began heading back up - I simply couldn't manage the hill. I knew if I kept going I wouldn't recover - so I walked for a few minutes. And it worked. I actually got my breath back.
And then as I was almost back at the car I thought I should keep going a bit longer - get over the 5 miles again - but my head was going 'oh you don't have to do that, wouldn't you prefer to finish now - after all you've gone for your run blah blah blah'
But I fought that voice and I went a little further and got further than 5 miles.
Very much yay for me
5,09 miles
9m 48s
I've got some bluetooth earbuds - they're very good except that they're noisy - they bang around as I run. I know I can jam them in harder but then I can't hear the real world. But it's better than having the cables trailing down
1 Apr 2018
The leggings have run
They actually feel really nice. I think they stop the worst of the wobble which is a bonus. Now, of course, it's a bit warmer I don't really want long leggings. But hey ho.
5.1 miles
9m 57s a mile
So it's the furthest I've run for a long time. It was tough. But it's done.
I am drowning in stress at work (again) so I was hoping a run would help - but the truth is that it helps while you're running, but now I'm back, the stress is still there - so much so that I will be popping into work to see if there is anything I can be doing. It's Easter - so the long weekend hasn't helped in the slightest: there is so much to do.
But that's life and I need to appreciate that I'm middle-aged and fit and healthy. I am very lucky.
5.1 miles
9m 57s a mile
So it's the furthest I've run for a long time. It was tough. But it's done.
I am drowning in stress at work (again) so I was hoping a run would help - but the truth is that it helps while you're running, but now I'm back, the stress is still there - so much so that I will be popping into work to see if there is anything I can be doing. It's Easter - so the long weekend hasn't helped in the slightest: there is so much to do.
But that's life and I need to appreciate that I'm middle-aged and fit and healthy. I am very lucky.
29 Mar 2018
The leggings are in...
... and they are awesome.
£95 new - £40 off ebay.
Now I feel motivated, enlightened and fit and sharp and gorgeous...
or - just £40 lighter and still waiting for the rainy hail to give over and I can try them out.
£95 new - £40 off ebay.
Now I feel motivated, enlightened and fit and sharp and gorgeous...
or - just £40 lighter and still waiting for the rainy hail to give over and I can try them out.
25 Mar 2018
Day 1. Again
I ran this morning – further than I have for quite some time. Well done me. The reason was that I’ve decided to do the Bristol 10K in May. It gives me about 7 weeks to up my miles.
But it’s more than just an event to aim for: it’s motivation to overhaul my whole physical and mental well-being. So no pressure there then.
I have put on weight (have I mentioned that???) through over-eating and over-drinking. The part-time months have left me lazy. So now I’m working back full time I want to get back to being and feeling like the person I am.
It’s going to be tough. It’s only 430pm and I’m considering heading up to the shop to get a bottle of wine for the evening. It’s a bad idea.
How much do I want to start this journey?
I’ve been gathering inspirational sayings
1. Motivation follows action
2. Everything counts: every bite, every step, every sip
I reckon every extra stone in weight adds an extra minute a mile on pace: so if I was to lose the weight I could conceivably run 9-minute miles. Quite a challenge but it was a realistic aim until I had the stress fractures (mind, I was also very much younger then...)
But – every journey starts with the first step (I’ll put that as number 3) and today is just me stepping out the door…
4.18 miles
10m 01s per mile
11 Mar 2018
Day 1
It's 0744 and I have already been for a run. Well done me, right!
It was OK - the hardest part was getting out the house yada yada yada
3.07 miles, 9m52s a mile so not too shabby
I think I almost enjoyed the first bit, even the hill (slight slope) - the difficulty is when I get a bit tireder and the weight starts being an issue. I guess when I was thinner I could run further before this became an issue. So I have to lose the weight
Easy, right.
But at least it's started.
It was OK - the hardest part was getting out the house yada yada yada
3.07 miles, 9m52s a mile so not too shabby
I think I almost enjoyed the first bit, even the hill (slight slope) - the difficulty is when I get a bit tireder and the weight starts being an issue. I guess when I was thinner I could run further before this became an issue. So I have to lose the weight
Easy, right.
But at least it's started.
10 Mar 2018
Pre-relaunch
Tomorrow I begin to change my life. Not 'Tomorrow my life changes' - I am doing this.
Starting with a run - nothing special, just the first in this new chapter.
And then I build up to starting my new job early on Monday morning.
I have been bidding for some leggings: on paper, they are my perfect running kit: zero gravity leggings They are very, very expensive. On eBay I bid up to £25 but am already outbid. I'm glad: I didn't like them when I tried them on. I am still too fat to wear anything so beautiful.
So basically I have £95 to spend on new kit once I'm under way again
So there it is.
Ready to go.
Tomorrow
Starting with a run - nothing special, just the first in this new chapter.
And then I build up to starting my new job early on Monday morning.
I have been bidding for some leggings: on paper, they are my perfect running kit: zero gravity leggings They are very, very expensive. On eBay I bid up to £25 but am already outbid. I'm glad: I didn't like them when I tried them on. I am still too fat to wear anything so beautiful.
So basically I have £95 to spend on new kit once I'm under way again
So there it is.
Ready to go.
Tomorrow
20 Feb 2018
it's getting warmer
For the first time this year I've got back in from a run and not felt the need to leap in the shower and get warmed up. In fact it's positively balmy out there today.
My choices of exercise today were running or the gym. And I made the right choice I think: I was listening to the Girl on the Train and have 30 mins or so left - so I will walk into work and listen to the rest of it rather than cycle in via the gym. Genius.
An average run.
Nothing special - nothing hurt until I got back and tried going up and down stairs and my knees kicked in. I hope there's nothing properly wrong with them - I think it's an inflammation of the tendon lying underneath my kneecap - so I am stretching my quads and possibly taking a few NSAIDs.
What I don't want to think about today: just how much harder it is to run with an extra stone of flab to carry.
My choices of exercise today were running or the gym. And I made the right choice I think: I was listening to the Girl on the Train and have 30 mins or so left - so I will walk into work and listen to the rest of it rather than cycle in via the gym. Genius.
An average run.
Nothing special - nothing hurt until I got back and tried going up and down stairs and my knees kicked in. I hope there's nothing properly wrong with them - I think it's an inflammation of the tendon lying underneath my kneecap - so I am stretching my quads and possibly taking a few NSAIDs.
What I don't want to think about today: just how much harder it is to run with an extra stone of flab to carry.
18 Feb 2018
What don't you want to think about?
Just throwing this out there
What don't you want to think about?
Asking this gets to the very heart of who you are. What - or who - are you hiding from?
Mine is: getting old: a huge part of me thinks it's never going to happen so there is no point thinking about it, the rest knows it is happening right now, and that scares me
What don't you want to think about?
Asking this gets to the very heart of who you are. What - or who - are you hiding from?
Mine is: getting old: a huge part of me thinks it's never going to happen so there is no point thinking about it, the rest knows it is happening right now, and that scares me
17 Feb 2018
Awesome
Kind of awesome anyway. More like 'adequate', to be honest
The usual route - and along the way I noticed a couple of possible back lanes I could try out next time. Always good to have something novel to look forward to...
It was hard persuading myself to go - I was sure the left achilles thing might kick in again - and my right ankle is still a bit iffy from the twist the other day. But it was fine. The biggest struggle is carrying the extra flab
I'm not overly impressed.
I know I have to keep going and - as long as I don't get injured - it will get better, I will be fitter and more importantly, I will enjoy it more.
3.11 miles
9m 52 pace
30 mins - it feels tough. I am useless on the hills (but I know that's where the magic happens...) I can't believe I ever used to run for over an hour. I used to go before work - about 0615 in the Summer - and run for about 7miles. But as soon as I'd done that 1/2 marathon all that stopped. Then I did the forefoot running thing, got 2 stress fractures and tbh the love left me. I still want to go running - it's something that kicks in quite often - Jasper in Canada for one thing. And Whitstable. So I will keep battling away. I think I also need to address the faffing around that goes into it - the kit and the amusements seem to make a big deal out of something which isn't all that.
The usual route - and along the way I noticed a couple of possible back lanes I could try out next time. Always good to have something novel to look forward to...
It was hard persuading myself to go - I was sure the left achilles thing might kick in again - and my right ankle is still a bit iffy from the twist the other day. But it was fine. The biggest struggle is carrying the extra flab
I'm not overly impressed.
I know I have to keep going and - as long as I don't get injured - it will get better, I will be fitter and more importantly, I will enjoy it more.
3.11 miles
9m 52 pace
30 mins - it feels tough. I am useless on the hills (but I know that's where the magic happens...) I can't believe I ever used to run for over an hour. I used to go before work - about 0615 in the Summer - and run for about 7miles. But as soon as I'd done that 1/2 marathon all that stopped. Then I did the forefoot running thing, got 2 stress fractures and tbh the love left me. I still want to go running - it's something that kicks in quite often - Jasper in Canada for one thing. And Whitstable. So I will keep battling away. I think I also need to address the faffing around that goes into it - the kit and the amusements seem to make a big deal out of something which isn't all that.
5 Feb 2018
1 year, 1 stone later
So today appears to be the anniversary of achieving my slimmest state in decades. To mark the occasion I weighed in at exactly 1 stone more. Over 9st. This time last year I was contemplating seeing if I could just tip under the 8st mark, just to feel what it was like...
This morning's run then. It's a nice morning - cold but sunny. I had a good play to listen to - about the aftermath of the Great Escape - didn't think I would be as engaged as I was tbh. My achilles was a bit dodgy after 20 mins or so, so I was taking it v easy in the hope it would just wear off. Then I slipped off the pavement waiting to cross the road and snagged my left ankle. It didn't seem like anything much - but I think it is. It hurts now and I feel like an old woman.
This is going to be a pivotal week in my life: I start back down the weight-loss route, I have a job interview which if I don't get, I will resign. Quite dramatic, possibly stupid - but I am tired of spending a good part of my working life feeling panicked, stressed and depressed. I'm in the very privileged position of having no mortgage and no dependents so really it's only my life I'm risking.
If I get the job - less running; if I don't, I can spend the rest of my running years trying to keep on the road.
3.09 miles
10m 05s a mile
This morning's run then. It's a nice morning - cold but sunny. I had a good play to listen to - about the aftermath of the Great Escape - didn't think I would be as engaged as I was tbh. My achilles was a bit dodgy after 20 mins or so, so I was taking it v easy in the hope it would just wear off. Then I slipped off the pavement waiting to cross the road and snagged my left ankle. It didn't seem like anything much - but I think it is. It hurts now and I feel like an old woman.
This is going to be a pivotal week in my life: I start back down the weight-loss route, I have a job interview which if I don't get, I will resign. Quite dramatic, possibly stupid - but I am tired of spending a good part of my working life feeling panicked, stressed and depressed. I'm in the very privileged position of having no mortgage and no dependents so really it's only my life I'm risking.
If I get the job - less running; if I don't, I can spend the rest of my running years trying to keep on the road.
3.09 miles
10m 05s a mile
2 Feb 2018
Anatomy of a run
It's 8am on a non-work day although I have a list of worky things to do regarding a job interview on Tuesday
I have a graze on my knee (I know, how old am I?)
I am concerned about the potential Achilles problem - also considering perhaps stretching the thing like you're supposed to?
Another alternative is to go to the gym and use the cardio things there (eyeing up the rowing machine to get an all-over sweaty glow)
And yet I am still in my dressing gown trying to make a decision.
Full disclosure: I don't want to exercise. It hurts. It makes me red-faced and knackered. I feel like people are laughing at me for daring to go out in lycra at my age and current wobbliness.
There is a 3rd way - stay in the warm, prepare for the interview. Go for a coffee and read my book. Clean the house. Start on the garden clearance.
And then I get a shot of reality - I can do all those things AS WELL AS GO FOR A RUN
It's now 0811
It's 1003 and I did option 2...
I drove to the gym (bad idea - nowhere to park) and did the usual stuff with the heavy things and then did 20 mins on the rower. 143 calories later and I'm back. I took it stupidly easy on myself, only gradually upping the difficulty - but if I do it again I will start higher. It was OK - 'meditative' as lovely Ross described it. I was listening to a play - could manage some music I think.
And although I thought I was taking it easy (I was) I felt quite wobbly driving back so I guess it's doing something.
Will it be a regular thing? My half-arsed plan was to replace my regular pre-work coffee with a 20-minute row - saving £2.52 and working off 140-odd calories. What's not to like? (Losing my beloved pre-work coffee for one thing)
So that's it - the start of a new era of self-improvement? Or a one-time flash in the pan.
I guess that choice is up to me...
Here's possibly (definitely) my very first link:
Bitterly true-isms from the truth potato
I have a graze on my knee (I know, how old am I?)
I am concerned about the potential Achilles problem - also considering perhaps stretching the thing like you're supposed to?
Another alternative is to go to the gym and use the cardio things there (eyeing up the rowing machine to get an all-over sweaty glow)
And yet I am still in my dressing gown trying to make a decision.
Full disclosure: I don't want to exercise. It hurts. It makes me red-faced and knackered. I feel like people are laughing at me for daring to go out in lycra at my age and current wobbliness.
There is a 3rd way - stay in the warm, prepare for the interview. Go for a coffee and read my book. Clean the house. Start on the garden clearance.
And then I get a shot of reality - I can do all those things AS WELL AS GO FOR A RUN
It's now 0811
It's 1003 and I did option 2...
I drove to the gym (bad idea - nowhere to park) and did the usual stuff with the heavy things and then did 20 mins on the rower. 143 calories later and I'm back. I took it stupidly easy on myself, only gradually upping the difficulty - but if I do it again I will start higher. It was OK - 'meditative' as lovely Ross described it. I was listening to a play - could manage some music I think.
And although I thought I was taking it easy (I was) I felt quite wobbly driving back so I guess it's doing something.
Will it be a regular thing? My half-arsed plan was to replace my regular pre-work coffee with a 20-minute row - saving £2.52 and working off 140-odd calories. What's not to like? (Losing my beloved pre-work coffee for one thing)
So that's it - the start of a new era of self-improvement? Or a one-time flash in the pan.
I guess that choice is up to me...
Here's possibly (definitely) my very first link:
Bitterly true-isms from the truth potato
28 Jan 2018
CHANGE OF DIRECTION
Sorry for shouting but I think my life is about to take an abrupt turn.
Like, resigning my job with no concrete plan for the future.
It's a biggie. The biggest maybe.
So I need some kind of focus otherwise I will descend into invisibility - overweight, middle-aged, a nobody
The only thing I can't change is the passage of time. So I use Time to my advantage (stay with me, it's all getting a bit self-help)
It will take time to tackle the weight issue
It will take time to regain fitness, strength and flexibility (as far as that is physically even possible) and it will take time to make my way in this brave new world of my own creation.
But in the meantime - it's a horrible morning so I'm going to stay in the relative warm, do my possibly useless teeth-whitening and start on my copywriting course which will change my life.
Possibly.
The world is full of possibility
(written 24th Jan)
Like, resigning my job with no concrete plan for the future.
It's a biggie. The biggest maybe.
So I need some kind of focus otherwise I will descend into invisibility - overweight, middle-aged, a nobody
The only thing I can't change is the passage of time. So I use Time to my advantage (stay with me, it's all getting a bit self-help)
It will take time to tackle the weight issue
It will take time to regain fitness, strength and flexibility (as far as that is physically even possible) and it will take time to make my way in this brave new world of my own creation.
But in the meantime - it's a horrible morning so I'm going to stay in the relative warm, do my possibly useless teeth-whitening and start on my copywriting course which will change my life.
Possibly.
The world is full of possibility
(written 24th Jan)
Cheeky blighters
It was a vile morning but I went out anyway, full of vim and vigour. Made it up to the first high point without any drama.
A young chap asked for my help as he'd been at a friend's house and couldn't find his way to Temple Meads. It's about 2 -3 miles from that point. So I pointed him in the right kind of direction and off he went. I hope he got there OK
When I set off again, my calf muscle was quite painful. Dilemma: do I go on regardless, or accept I need to rest/stretch/strengthen it and wait for it to mend. So I decided to go home, less than a mile away.
Annoying though
But when I stopped the mapmyrun thing, one of the adverts popped up:
'you made that 1.69 mile WALK look easy, why not raise money for cancer research'
1.69 mile WALK.
WALK
I ran (that's RAN) 1.69 miles before the pain started.
OK my pace was 11m 25s a mile which is possibly the very definition of
Perhaps only I will ever know I had run every step of the way
A young chap asked for my help as he'd been at a friend's house and couldn't find his way to Temple Meads. It's about 2 -3 miles from that point. So I pointed him in the right kind of direction and off he went. I hope he got there OK
When I set off again, my calf muscle was quite painful. Dilemma: do I go on regardless, or accept I need to rest/stretch/strengthen it and wait for it to mend. So I decided to go home, less than a mile away.
Annoying though
But when I stopped the mapmyrun thing, one of the adverts popped up:
'you made that 1.69 mile WALK look easy, why not raise money for cancer research'
1.69 mile WALK.
WALK
I ran (that's RAN) 1.69 miles before the pain started.
OK my pace was 11m 25s a mile which is possibly the very definition of
Perhaps only I will ever know I had run every step of the way
20 Jan 2018
I did it
It was a grizzly morning - that grey rain which just makes you want to stay inside and drink tea.
But on my 'I Am Doing This' list was to go for a run.
So I very much did just that.
It wasn't nice.
My first concern was to keep my phone dry. Just hoped for the best really. It was fine.
Next was the burden of a lack of fitness and a massive arse. I am finding it tough to get my breath back after a gentle slope. It didn't seem to be getting any easier - but then came the pace update - 9mins 42. I am quite surprised. It totally explains why I was so out of breath - but not why I was running faster...
It meant of course that the run was shorter - just over 30 mins which isn't the idea. I think 45 mins is better. But I could not have run much further this morning.
And I have a calf strain. It wasn't too much but got worse over the last 10 mins or so. Not sure why it's happening - is it something linked with the arthritis?
And I'm writing this standing up at the kitchen table - it's meant to be much better for you, isn't it. I have to think of my massive arse at the p[oint and hopefully, gramme by gramme it will shrink Hopefully to the size it was this time last year before I stupidly put every lb back on
But now I'm back - showered and with the whole day ahead with nothing planned. Just how I like it, tbh.
But on my 'I Am Doing This' list was to go for a run.
So I very much did just that.
It wasn't nice.
My first concern was to keep my phone dry. Just hoped for the best really. It was fine.
Next was the burden of a lack of fitness and a massive arse. I am finding it tough to get my breath back after a gentle slope. It didn't seem to be getting any easier - but then came the pace update - 9mins 42. I am quite surprised. It totally explains why I was so out of breath - but not why I was running faster...
It meant of course that the run was shorter - just over 30 mins which isn't the idea. I think 45 mins is better. But I could not have run much further this morning.
And I have a calf strain. It wasn't too much but got worse over the last 10 mins or so. Not sure why it's happening - is it something linked with the arthritis?
And I'm writing this standing up at the kitchen table - it's meant to be much better for you, isn't it. I have to think of my massive arse at the p[oint and hopefully, gramme by gramme it will shrink Hopefully to the size it was this time last year before I stupidly put every lb back on
But now I'm back - showered and with the whole day ahead with nothing planned. Just how I like it, tbh.
15 Jan 2018
I am not doing this *hangs head in shame*
That didn't last long. I was honestly going to run this morning but when I felt the remnant of an achilles twinge left over from Friday, I didn't go.
This is the problem with me - the lack of motivation and the belief in my other mantra 'motivation follows action' - another blatant and oft-proved truism.
So, in the light of 'new year new me' (which has got off to a very shaky start) I will just get over myself and lose the stone in weight I seem to have put back on (thank you wine and chocolate. And bacon)
So here goes.
I will lose the 10 lbs I regained last year because that will tackle the depression and lack of self confidence. Also, I will embrace running and yoga to become as lithe, (well, as much as a short-arse can be lithe) supple and fit as I feel the person I am is.
Advanced grammar.
It's also pay day at the much-reduced rate thinks to going part-time. It's a massive pay cut. It might be the worst decision I've ever made - or it could make the whole self-improvement thing a doddle.
I hope I can convince myself it's the latter otherwise I will be whiling away my spare time watching Netflix and drinking wine. And that is not the person I believe I am deep down. (Problem is, that person is really, really deep down these days)
This is a wake-up call like no other. (Apart from the last few)
This is the problem with me - the lack of motivation and the belief in my other mantra 'motivation follows action' - another blatant and oft-proved truism.
So, in the light of 'new year new me' (which has got off to a very shaky start) I will just get over myself and lose the stone in weight I seem to have put back on (thank you wine and chocolate. And bacon)
So here goes.
I will lose the 10 lbs I regained last year because that will tackle the depression and lack of self confidence. Also, I will embrace running and yoga to become as lithe, (well, as much as a short-arse can be lithe) supple and fit as I feel the person I am is.
Advanced grammar.
It's also pay day at the much-reduced rate thinks to going part-time. It's a massive pay cut. It might be the worst decision I've ever made - or it could make the whole self-improvement thing a doddle.
I hope I can convince myself it's the latter otherwise I will be whiling away my spare time watching Netflix and drinking wine. And that is not the person I believe I am deep down. (Problem is, that person is really, really deep down these days)
This is a wake-up call like no other. (Apart from the last few)
12 Jan 2018
I Am Doing This
'I Am Doing This' is my new mantra.
It's streets head of looking in the mirror and telling myself 'I can do this': it's immediate - it's already happening.
It works when I haven't even begun to do the thing: a statement of intent as much as a status update.
So that's the new thing
I ran this morning - I didn't want to, in fact I would have found it so very easy to talk myself out of it. I've done that many, many times before. But 'I am doing this' happened and there I was, running. And feeling quite pleased about it. Don't like the hills, but there you go.
Incidentally I hear there is a film about the Ashton Court Park un on BBC Inside Out West on 22 January - it's the story of a family coming together and training for this 5km run. It's awesome.
3.44miles
9m58s a mile
Just lurking under the 10 minute mile. Is that ever going to change? Only if I put my heart and soul into it.
Am I doing this?
It's streets head of looking in the mirror and telling myself 'I can do this': it's immediate - it's already happening.
It works when I haven't even begun to do the thing: a statement of intent as much as a status update.
So that's the new thing
I ran this morning - I didn't want to, in fact I would have found it so very easy to talk myself out of it. I've done that many, many times before. But 'I am doing this' happened and there I was, running. And feeling quite pleased about it. Don't like the hills, but there you go.
Incidentally I hear there is a film about the Ashton Court Park un on BBC Inside Out West on 22 January - it's the story of a family coming together and training for this 5km run. It's awesome.
3.44miles
9m58s a mile
Just lurking under the 10 minute mile. Is that ever going to change? Only if I put my heart and soul into it.
Am I doing this?
6 Jan 2018
Back on track. Kind of.
A not-too-bad run this morning. It was OK. What can I say?
It was very cold and my left index finger was white with
shock for a couple of miles but it warmed up.
I started listening to a podcast but gave up – it wasn’t
funny enough or clever enough so I bailed and listened to ‘Elsinor’ from BBC.
It’s a prequel to Hamlet. If I’d known it was a prequel before I set off it
would have made far more sense.
3.35 miles
9m 51s pace
Not very far, not very long. I think I need to up
the time to about 45 mins which I understand is the optimum for aerobic
fitness. Which means I have to put in more effort. Never something I want to
hear… But I am turning into a fatty so perhaps it’s time to step up.
And when I got back there was a squirrel on the bird feeder - urban wildlife! I was hoping for birds...
And when I got back there was a squirrel on the bird feeder - urban wildlife! I was hoping for birds...
-->
1 Jan 2018
Happy new year!
Yes - I have run every day this year so far.
Enough with the stupid cliches - other than 'new year, new me'
I am cutting my work days to 3 a week - therefore requiring a massive rethink in terms of spending. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do in many ways - other than needing to have a clear out of things which cause me stress - such as work. It's going to be more intense but then there will be more time to decompress - and that is a good thing.
Also, I have literally put on all the weight I lost over the past year or so - 8st 13.4lbs. And I was actually pleased I hadn't broken the 9st level.
Back on the intermittent fasting - and healthier eating - cutting right back on the wine (which has been my major downfall tbh)
So, all that's happening.
But I did run this morning - first time for a while and it felt like it. My hips are aching and the odd bit on the joint next to my buggered big toe joint is giving me cause for concern. Hey ho - there is a light on the toe joint horizon - well, 2 really. One is chasing the cortisol injection to make the thing less painful and the other is a new replacement cartilege treatment (cartiva) - private of course but it might just cure the thing.
3.14 miles
9m 56 pace
Barely average tbh but I am very glad I did it. if it wasn't for the odd toe thing I would mind less about running...
I also have to keep going to the gym - limited to work days though - 3 days in a row? It's hardly impossible.
So - a plan...
running twice a week - once on Friday or Saturday morning and Westbury on Monday evening
3 gyms
Yin every day - have done 8 mins today, quite hard work but I think it's a good thing to do. A class of actual yoga is probably good as well - but I don't want to do a full 90 mins - an hour is more than enough
So there you go.
It's 2018 already.
How did that happen..
Enough with the stupid cliches - other than 'new year, new me'
I am cutting my work days to 3 a week - therefore requiring a massive rethink in terms of spending. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do in many ways - other than needing to have a clear out of things which cause me stress - such as work. It's going to be more intense but then there will be more time to decompress - and that is a good thing.
Also, I have literally put on all the weight I lost over the past year or so - 8st 13.4lbs. And I was actually pleased I hadn't broken the 9st level.
Back on the intermittent fasting - and healthier eating - cutting right back on the wine (which has been my major downfall tbh)
So, all that's happening.
But I did run this morning - first time for a while and it felt like it. My hips are aching and the odd bit on the joint next to my buggered big toe joint is giving me cause for concern. Hey ho - there is a light on the toe joint horizon - well, 2 really. One is chasing the cortisol injection to make the thing less painful and the other is a new replacement cartilege treatment (cartiva) - private of course but it might just cure the thing.
3.14 miles
9m 56 pace
Barely average tbh but I am very glad I did it. if it wasn't for the odd toe thing I would mind less about running...
I also have to keep going to the gym - limited to work days though - 3 days in a row? It's hardly impossible.
So - a plan...
running twice a week - once on Friday or Saturday morning and Westbury on Monday evening
3 gyms
Yin every day - have done 8 mins today, quite hard work but I think it's a good thing to do. A class of actual yoga is probably good as well - but I don't want to do a full 90 mins - an hour is more than enough
So there you go.
It's 2018 already.
How did that happen..
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