That didn't last long. I was honestly going to run this morning but when I felt the remnant of an achilles twinge left over from Friday, I didn't go.
This is the problem with me - the lack of motivation and the belief in my other mantra 'motivation follows action' - another blatant and oft-proved truism.
So, in the light of 'new year new me' (which has got off to a very shaky start) I will just get over myself and lose the stone in weight I seem to have put back on (thank you wine and chocolate. And bacon)
So here goes.
I will lose the 10 lbs I regained last year because that will tackle the depression and lack of self confidence. Also, I will embrace running and yoga to become as lithe, (well, as much as a short-arse can be lithe) supple and fit as I feel the person I am is.
Advanced grammar.
It's also pay day at the much-reduced rate thinks to going part-time. It's a massive pay cut. It might be the worst decision I've ever made - or it could make the whole self-improvement thing a doddle.
I hope I can convince myself it's the latter otherwise I will be whiling away my spare time watching Netflix and drinking wine. And that is not the person I believe I am deep down. (Problem is, that person is really, really deep down these days)
This is a wake-up call like no other. (Apart from the last few)
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
16 Oct 2016
Depression
Yesterday was a challenge.
As well as the usual effort required to get kitted up and out the door, I was buried under an overwhelming wave of depression. It makes me slow down to the point of catatonia; I need to cry, to turn myself off, to disappear.
Even my new bouncy shoes made no difference.
But I had 2 things on my side.
One is the accepted wisdom that exercise and especially outdoor exercise - ie running - is hugely beneficial at these times.
Two - bf was there to give me a proper hug and boot me out the door.
And it was the right thing to do - both the hug and the run. I felt a lot better for it.
The depression doesn't go away, it's not zapped out of existence like an infection blasted by antibiotics - but it becomes softer, more malleable and can be kept in its box.
Perhaps I will have to keep my running shoes at work and head out at lunchtimes for therapy (probably healthier than endless coffees) This will make me an elite something by Christmas. That plus the Headspace sessions will make me a superbrain ready to tackle anything and everything life and throw at me.
I live in a world of fantasy and fancy.
As well as the usual effort required to get kitted up and out the door, I was buried under an overwhelming wave of depression. It makes me slow down to the point of catatonia; I need to cry, to turn myself off, to disappear.
Even my new bouncy shoes made no difference.
But I had 2 things on my side.
One is the accepted wisdom that exercise and especially outdoor exercise - ie running - is hugely beneficial at these times.
Two - bf was there to give me a proper hug and boot me out the door.
And it was the right thing to do - both the hug and the run. I felt a lot better for it.
The depression doesn't go away, it's not zapped out of existence like an infection blasted by antibiotics - but it becomes softer, more malleable and can be kept in its box.
Perhaps I will have to keep my running shoes at work and head out at lunchtimes for therapy (probably healthier than endless coffees) This will make me an elite something by Christmas. That plus the Headspace sessions will make me a superbrain ready to tackle anything and everything life and throw at me.
I live in a world of fantasy and fancy.
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