Imperative

Long time no run. It was time to get back out there and see how I get on. No pressure. And I've been on holiday for 10 days so there was no running and no holding back on the food and wine. 

When does the feeling of 'I need to go for a run' kick in? There are people who go for a quick run whenever they can fit one in, who feel wrong if they don't run, who run to help them relax. Who are these people?

I run because exercise is essential to healthy living, it's free, you can take it with you. 

It's also awful: the pain, the inclement weather, the expense of decent kit (that last one is more of an option...) 

Weight loss - now there is something I'm getting good at. So far, the 5:2 diet has lost me about 1/2 a stone with about 5 lbs still to go. It's not that easy being hungry all the time during the fasting days but there is always the knowledge that the next day you can have what you want (within reason). The difficulty is always in keeping it off - but if I stick with the regime, I can cut back on the fasting days and it will be fine, right? That will be the test.

So I'm on a fasting day today which means I had enough to eat yesterday and so have a little bit more energy for a run than I did last time: shall we see how I did?

4.27km

7m 19s per km

Pretty poor in truth - but I'm ok with that. 

Back on track. Kind of.

A not-too-bad run this morning. It was OK. What can I say?

It was very cold and my left index finger was white with shock for a couple of miles but it warmed up.

I started listening to a podcast but gave up – it wasn’t funny enough or clever enough so I bailed and listened to ‘Elsinor’ from BBC. It’s a prequel to Hamlet. If I’d known it was a prequel before I set off it would have made far more sense.

3.35 miles

9m 51s pace

Not very far, not very long. I think I need to up the time to about 45 mins which I understand is the optimum for aerobic fitness. Which means I have to put in more effort. Never something I want to hear… But I am turning into a fatty so perhaps it’s time to step up.

And when I got back there was a squirrel on the bird feeder - urban wildlife! I was hoping for birds... 

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Old

Well, I feel old. My left hip aches like a nasty thing and I can't run straight cos of my arthritic toe joint.

So, old

But not so old I didn't go for a run this morning - in the very leggings I bought in Jasper to run in Canada. Which was nice.

I did a run round the downs and realised today is when the Race For Life is on - I could have done that... Except I'm working today on a project which is frankly doing my head in so much I'm taking August off as unpaid leave to regain some level of sanity. Extreme I know but sometimes you have to take control of your life,

I found it slightly easier to run than I feared - possibly cos I have lost about 10lbs. It feels great but I know I won't be happy until I look and feel slimmer. There is a slight element of eating disorder about my thinking from time to time - but this week I have been eating better and have only lost 1/2 lb or so. That's OK. I've done it on intermittent fasting - the 16:8 not the 5:2 version (I can't stand the long days without food) This one is 16 hours fasting in 24, 5 times a week. And when you're eating you can have pretty much what you like - not too much obviously but as long as you're eating healthily you lose weight. It's to do with getting into the fat-burning zone once you've had 12 hours without eating - so after about 8am I spend the next 4 hours burning fat - which is then gone. If you eat enough calories to remain the same weight over the course of a day, you haven't spent 4 hours burning fat - so there is a net loss over the day despite eating maintenance levels of food.

It works

a weighty problem

3.09 miles in 30.36mins
9mins 54 secs per mile

Bloody hell it was hard work. I always find running at the end of the day (well, 5pm...) much harder than first thing in the morning. But really???

I think my greatest challenge with this (apart from the fear of more stress fractures, and bone spurs/arthritis making my right big toe rigid and excruciatingly painful) is that I am carrying about a stone in extra weight. No kidding. I'm not enormously overweight, but the fact is I have gained a stone over the past couple of years (perhaps a bit longer). While I know at my great advanced age of 50 I can expect to be gaining a few lbs here and there, I have been dealing with my stress, depression and so on by eating and drinking far too much. And now I'm paying the price.

'So, lose the weight' I hear from the web.
Of course I know I have to lose weight. It's tough. I have dieted before and never kept the weight off - never, if I'm honest, even reached a target weight. I have low-carbed, meal-replaced, and driven myself to anorexic levels of calorie counting (actually I did achieve a target weight of 100lbs doing that but I know now I nearly slipped into anorexia proper)
I still have issues around food - for me it's about comfort - feeling hungry makes me very nervous, as if I don't believe I'll be able to cope with the slings and arrows that everyday life throws at you. Any emotional feeling makes me want to eat and drink to excess - either good or bad feelings, doesn't matter.
I have delved into 'the Beck Diet Solution' and it is genius - it deals with 'dieting' rather than promoting a perfect diet.
I will attempt to go for the 5:2 intermittent fasting option again - previously I have lost about a lb a week but have given up due to emotional complications...

I know if I want to feel like myself again (not the 'old' me - that person is gone, I want to feel like I am the best person I can be - for myself) I need to shed some lbs even if it's just to get back into the clothes languishing in my wardrobe because they're fat too tight.
Sounds easy.
Will  running play a large part? Part of regaining my self-esteem is that I will be 'a runner' of sorts. Probably not the of the 1/2 marathon stripe, but of the '5-mile of a weekend and a shorter run in the week sort' My motivation for running is because it makes me feel better, feel positive, not because it might help me lose weight.
Running while you're firing on all cylinders is amazing.

And next week I will be running along the seafront in Brighton - inspired by 'running like a girl' by Alexandra Heminsley

And that is the end of the longest blog post I think I've ever done

yoga

Well, I knew it would have to happen eventually - I've been back to yoga for the first time in months.
And it's good.

Painful, awkward, frustrating, but good.

It may be the key to getting back running as it focuses on stretching all kinds of large, deep muscles and joints, which have been my downfall.
Of course I have to commit to going every week (and doing some in between) and it's 90 minutes a session which gets a bit dull BUT it's a Good Thing to do.

I will be yogaing again this Thursday which is the day I'm supposed to be having a trial run to see how my achilles is faring, but that will have to wait til Friday.

Also I'm going to attempt the 5:2 diet lifestyle thing this week (and commit it to it until Christmas????) which is basically 2 days a week of extremely restricted fasting (500 cals) and normal eating for the rest of the time. For various reasons it's going to be extremely hard to carry this off, but I feel I need to do something to fight this middle-aged spread thing (I thought it was a myth - I was so terribly wrong)

Wish me luck...