Hurty

OK - it was a bit hurty but at least I dragged myself out for a run and was very glad I did. It was even raining when I left the house and I went anyway.
(But then it stopped raining and was quite nice...)
It was OK - I went up to the downs with the intention of being kind to myself by running slowly (which I did) and once I got a bit warmed up the hip problem didn't get any worse. And today it's still relatively OK so perhaps it's a limited thing. I am stretching like an Armstrong which I hope helps as it's not very nice. I have also booked an osteopath session to see if there is something I can be doing to sort it out and also to have a go at my wonky shoulders.
No one warns you that 'getting old' starts so soon. I thought it might kick in at some point in the future but it looks like it's happening now.
How depressing is that...

a weighty problem

3.09 miles in 30.36mins
9mins 54 secs per mile

Bloody hell it was hard work. I always find running at the end of the day (well, 5pm...) much harder than first thing in the morning. But really???

I think my greatest challenge with this (apart from the fear of more stress fractures, and bone spurs/arthritis making my right big toe rigid and excruciatingly painful) is that I am carrying about a stone in extra weight. No kidding. I'm not enormously overweight, but the fact is I have gained a stone over the past couple of years (perhaps a bit longer). While I know at my great advanced age of 50 I can expect to be gaining a few lbs here and there, I have been dealing with my stress, depression and so on by eating and drinking far too much. And now I'm paying the price.

'So, lose the weight' I hear from the web.
Of course I know I have to lose weight. It's tough. I have dieted before and never kept the weight off - never, if I'm honest, even reached a target weight. I have low-carbed, meal-replaced, and driven myself to anorexic levels of calorie counting (actually I did achieve a target weight of 100lbs doing that but I know now I nearly slipped into anorexia proper)
I still have issues around food - for me it's about comfort - feeling hungry makes me very nervous, as if I don't believe I'll be able to cope with the slings and arrows that everyday life throws at you. Any emotional feeling makes me want to eat and drink to excess - either good or bad feelings, doesn't matter.
I have delved into 'the Beck Diet Solution' and it is genius - it deals with 'dieting' rather than promoting a perfect diet.
I will attempt to go for the 5:2 intermittent fasting option again - previously I have lost about a lb a week but have given up due to emotional complications...

I know if I want to feel like myself again (not the 'old' me - that person is gone, I want to feel like I am the best person I can be - for myself) I need to shed some lbs even if it's just to get back into the clothes languishing in my wardrobe because they're fat too tight.
Sounds easy.
Will  running play a large part? Part of regaining my self-esteem is that I will be 'a runner' of sorts. Probably not the of the 1/2 marathon stripe, but of the '5-mile of a weekend and a shorter run in the week sort' My motivation for running is because it makes me feel better, feel positive, not because it might help me lose weight.
Running while you're firing on all cylinders is amazing.

And next week I will be running along the seafront in Brighton - inspired by 'running like a girl' by Alexandra Heminsley

And that is the end of the longest blog post I think I've ever done