Brighton no.2

Gorgeous morning, long flat run - couldn't be better.
Apart from it was too sunny (not really, no such thing), and I am too fat to make the most of the route.

3.7 miles
9m 27s per mile

Not as far as the other day but I had lots to drink last night which kind of makes things even more challenging than hauling extra weight...

TBH it was a little dull - it's kind of offputting when you turn around, retrace your steps and you can see the end of the run a long way off.
It's not the end of the world and it's far preferable to running in the hills and traffic of Bristol...

Brighton Run

It's one thing I really love - running next to the sea. Brighton seafront is quite big, meaty - not like Whitstable which is soft and twee.
But, nevertheless it was a longish run by the sea!!
Happy runner
Unhappy runner's feet (they're a bit tired and achy tbh especially since I made them walk all round the laines afterwards...)

4.50miles
44m10s
9min 48 a mile

So it's the longest and fastest one I've done for a while. Mainly cos it's quite flat. Also time of day (0830) and I'd had a little bit of breakfast before hand.
So all in all it was good.
I am paying for it now of course - hurty feet, blistery little toe, etc.

foolish

I found a new cut-through called Happy Lane the other day and it pleases me!

The run was OK - it felt better than last time which is good.

3.83 miles
37m41s
9m49s per mile

I am actually a little bit pleased with that. It's far off how well I used to run, but I have changed my philosophy to 'progress not perfection'. That runner from the isn't me anymore, she's gone. I am who I am now, with my collection of physical and mental challenges to overcome.

I am still a fatty though.

a weighty problem

3.09 miles in 30.36mins
9mins 54 secs per mile

Bloody hell it was hard work. I always find running at the end of the day (well, 5pm...) much harder than first thing in the morning. But really???

I think my greatest challenge with this (apart from the fear of more stress fractures, and bone spurs/arthritis making my right big toe rigid and excruciatingly painful) is that I am carrying about a stone in extra weight. No kidding. I'm not enormously overweight, but the fact is I have gained a stone over the past couple of years (perhaps a bit longer). While I know at my great advanced age of 50 I can expect to be gaining a few lbs here and there, I have been dealing with my stress, depression and so on by eating and drinking far too much. And now I'm paying the price.

'So, lose the weight' I hear from the web.
Of course I know I have to lose weight. It's tough. I have dieted before and never kept the weight off - never, if I'm honest, even reached a target weight. I have low-carbed, meal-replaced, and driven myself to anorexic levels of calorie counting (actually I did achieve a target weight of 100lbs doing that but I know now I nearly slipped into anorexia proper)
I still have issues around food - for me it's about comfort - feeling hungry makes me very nervous, as if I don't believe I'll be able to cope with the slings and arrows that everyday life throws at you. Any emotional feeling makes me want to eat and drink to excess - either good or bad feelings, doesn't matter.
I have delved into 'the Beck Diet Solution' and it is genius - it deals with 'dieting' rather than promoting a perfect diet.
I will attempt to go for the 5:2 intermittent fasting option again - previously I have lost about a lb a week but have given up due to emotional complications...

I know if I want to feel like myself again (not the 'old' me - that person is gone, I want to feel like I am the best person I can be - for myself) I need to shed some lbs even if it's just to get back into the clothes languishing in my wardrobe because they're fat too tight.
Sounds easy.
Will  running play a large part? Part of regaining my self-esteem is that I will be 'a runner' of sorts. Probably not the of the 1/2 marathon stripe, but of the '5-mile of a weekend and a shorter run in the week sort' My motivation for running is because it makes me feel better, feel positive, not because it might help me lose weight.
Running while you're firing on all cylinders is amazing.

And next week I will be running along the seafront in Brighton - inspired by 'running like a girl' by Alexandra Heminsley

And that is the end of the longest blog post I think I've ever done

A run

It was OK
I didn't need new kit, I didn't need it to be flat or sunny or especially early or late.
I didn't go fast at all apart from down the long straight rd just before the end - sefton park rd - 1/3 mile - and I wanted to get my average pace under 10 minutes per mile. Why that mattered - well, it doesn't. But it's a nice round number to be under...

3.7 miles, 36m 48s, 9mins 57" per mile

The last 1/3 mile was a killer.

But I did it. Despite being now 'disabled' and entitled to free prescriptions.

a new world

This is a tough one to write.
I know I have a lot to be grateful for in my life - I'm not starving, I'm not scared for my life, I have a loving family.
But sometimes I wonder how evil I must have been in a previous life to deserve the challenges that sometimes come my way.
I've been through difficult living arrangements, tough employment situations, a stress fractured foot... things that test your resilience and seem insurmountable at the time - but looking back puts things into perspective and you appreciate the good things.
I was hoping that I was heading for some good times as I feel I've been dealing with a lot of crap over the past 2 or 3 years - I felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Then on Thursday last week I blacked out on the way home from work and ended up in A&E being treated for epilepsy.
I'm probably going to be on drugs for the rest of my life; I can't drive for a year (A whole flaming YEAR) and it happened in the co-op: I had to get rid of the coat I was wearing in case anyone recognises me in it.
I feel humiliated, embarrassed, my muscles ache where they went into spasm, I have bruises on my arms where the needles went in. I just don't want this to be my life from now on.

I know it's no big deal in the scheme of things but it's something I now have to deal with and already the driving ban is hitting home. I already felt as useless as a peri-menopausal woman can be - and this just is the icing on the shitty cake.

But. I know it's important that I keep myself fit and healthy to give me any chance of getting the better of this and making sure I can drive again. So I have to run - Nell McAndrew seems to think it's a good idea and she looks great:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2974716/How-woman-learn-love-running-yes-TV-presenter-Nell-McAndrew-s-new-book-tells-started.html

So I am feeling very sorry for myself but I know other people have far worse things wrong with them - things that could actually kill them so I should shut up.
It just seems totally over the top to ban me from driving for having 2 seizures in 2 years. I am still a better driver than some of the numbskulls trying to negotiate their way around Henleaze...
The drugs I'm on have a terrible possible side effect which could be lethal - it's a skin lesion thing which sounds a lot worse than the fits imho.

So I am in a slump now. Is it wrong to enjoy the attention of the ambulance people - they were so kind and made me feel safe. Everyone at A&E was very nice. But I'm kind of on my own now I get that - I just have to suck it up and make sure I don't make things worse for myself.

Hey ho.

Slow.

3.71 miles
37m 18s
10m 4s per mil
Slower then ever before - also I am heavier than I have ever been in my life.
Issues: right big toe - I have done a fair bit of walking over the last 2 days and so my toe joint is very stiff - happily (weirdly) running doesn't seem to affect it quite so much. The knock-on effect though is that my right foot feels stiff and odd I guess through compensating for my dodgy toe joint.
Left hip - bit of a squeal but nothing too drastic.
Breath - very little on the hills
Stomach - I feel nauseous, like I have just eaten a huge meal. I have eaten today but not for a while - and last time I ran on empty I still had that feeling. I guess it's cos my newly extended stomach requires more oxygen to sustain it and so it makes me feel sick. Not pleasant and I should look on it as inspiration to lose weight.
Why else would I run other than to lose weight? Well, to get fit of course and to put off being old and unfit. Although I am pretty much there. I would like to be fitter and slimmer than average. That's all.

The jogging life for me

Well, there is really no excuse not to get out there and run,. It does me more good than harm (I have to believe that...) and even though my back is not 100% it doesn't stop me running. Well, jogging. A fast saunter, really...
37m 46s
3.8miles
10min 3s per mile
It's better than nothing.
In reality, I am getting on which means that recovery always takes longer. Also I am putting on weight and it's getting harder to shift. And my cretinous, arthritic big toe means that there is extra train being put on various other joints.
What 'getting on' doesn't mean is that I have to give up.
So really, until I cannot put one foot in front of the other I should keep on running, and if anything up the mileage and even consider doing the Bristol 10k at the end of May - it's something realistic to aim for isn't it.

Happy New Year

Well, it's been a tough start to the year - I have had the worst cold I have EVER had in my life. It ended up with a chest infection which obviously stopped me running for a long time - but also I was coughing so hard I have done something fairly major to my lower back. It's always been a bit weak but I have never been so incapacitated by pain. Made me very unhappy. And very, very unfit.
But yesterday I decided it was better enough to have a run with the option of cutting it short.

The stats speak for themselves - never have I been so slow (or so wobbly...)

28m 28s
2.8 miles
10min 7s pe rmile

The long road to running begins again...

No big deal...

 Just went for another run last Friday - no mapmyrun app to garner stats, just me and a useless ipod to listen to the radio (it nearly deafened me as the signal came and went...) and I ran the usual route up past the prison, past the moggery, looping back along coldharbour rd, glos rd and the sefton park straight...

No big deal then. Felt very ordinary, no pain, no drama...

SO THERE'S NO REASON WHY I CAN'T DO IT 3 TIMES A WEEK AND GET FITTER IS THERE

I have been for a run

Of course I have been far, far too busy to actually get off my bum and go for a run - so very, very busy...

This is a lie

Today was the first time I've been running since the last post. Not very impressive is it.
Except in the preceding weeks I have turned 50 and yet I still went for a run.

3.72 miles
36m 20s
9m 45s a mile
not the worst ever - but every time I go for a run it's a run.

Another Tech Fail

OK get these stats:
4.88 miles
37.19 mins
7min 39secs permile

I am an elite athlete...

In truth I don't think the the gps thingy had quite homed in on my position and so it possibly gave me a very flattering reading at first - in fact the first mile and a bit was run in a pace of a shade over 3 mins a mile... Still, it was quite amusing. Not very amusing, but a little

It was tiring, it was OK - my left hip hurt which I think is due to lack of mobility - I really must do those stretches I was given some years back - I'm sure they will work...

In all it was a good idea to go for a run - I do feel better - if knackered - for doing it.

5" run

Honestly - 5 seconds. If I'm listening to redux I have to make sure it doesn't disappear when I leave wifi so I start and pause the mapmyrun thing, get the sounds going and then I start mapmyrun.
I didn't start it. I was getting concerned when I didn't get an update 1/2 way through.
Hey ho.
It was the same route as last time at I guess about the same pace.  So I'll assume it was all that.

Concerned about my stomach - it felt like it was full of lead. I know I had a bit of a hangover this morning - but it was about 4pm when I ran so that should have gone. I guess it's just that I am very unfit.
And my left hip started aching - too tight I guess - I need to stretch.

Bad times

4.02 miles
40.43"
10min 7secs a mile
I ran round the downs and it was stupidly hard work. I did the 5:2 diet for the first time this week so I guess there was an issue with energy but it's ridiculous. I am so unfit it's embarrassing. Is it an age thing? I stand no chance if it's to do with age. So should I continue? I want to feel OK about doing a 5-mile run, that's all. I guess if I'm ever to run 5 miles in under 45 mins I'm going to have to work really hard, and I don't know it I've got in me to go down that line.
I did enjoy running round the downs though - far nicer than round the streets. It was the 1/2 marathon today and I kind of know there is no chance I will ever do one of those again. Not that I'm that bothered tbh.

Sometimes I impress myself

3.56 miles
9mins 48 pace

Sloooow but at least I went back out there for the first time in a million years and did a run. It was hard work. I am very unfit for running. I know that means I have to run more and get fitter, simple. I may even treat myself to some new running kit. Oooo, yes!


SHOCK UPDATE
About 30 mins after I finished running, it's started raining. I am blessed.

I am a jogger, not a runner

Not that the whole jog/run thing is important but this morning I tipped into the 10+ mins per mile category. I brought it back, but for a while I was down there with the joggers...

stats:
3.13 miles in 30m 45s which is 9m49s a mile. It's also 323 calories which just about cancels out the huge hunk of cheese I had after breakfast.

It's no way to carry on is it

almost not worth the effort...

On 28th July I ran 2.8 miles in 27min25 - 9min 40 per mile

It's really not very impressive is it? At least I went for a run. Which I haven't done for 11 days now.

Not very impressive

baby steps

Slow baby steps at that...
3.52 miles at 9min 40 a mile
I was trying to make myself feel better by believing  the 1st half was mostly uphill but frankly I think even 9mins 30 is a way off for me as yet - too fat, to unfit. Something to work on I guess - although it makes the likelihood of the 5in45 challenge a little unrealistic. That would mean a 9-minute mile (5 of them in fact) which is a tough ask. I know it's nothing to most other people but I have to accept my limits and run because I enjoy it and because it keeps me fit - and you can do it any time and it's a good way of seeing new places. Many reasons to run. Really very few reasons not to - hurty feet/knees/hips - blisters, fractures that sort of thing. I have accepted I'm better running in the supportive shoes not my beloved merrell minimals. Perhaps when I'm much lighter and stronger and fitter I will return. I feel like my ideal shoes would be some with support on the front of my foot rather than the heel as that's where the rolling and weakness comes in... That and some which aren't 1/2 a size too small... And wear socks.
Rambling now
Which is a fair description of my running style. :)

2 runs

1.41 miles @ 9min 58 and 2.6 miles at 9min 30

Really quite happy with those runs... The second one I think I could have gone further but I didn't want to push it
I'm quite surprised I'm still doing 9mins 30 pace as I feel slow (I know it IS slow, I'm not deluding myself) but I hope I can keep up this improvement. Must run more than once a week I guess.

Injury news - nothing to do with running but I've pulled a muscle in my hip - I think it's the abductor - it hurts when I turn corners or go upstairs anyway. It's stopping me walking and cycling today but I guess it'll be ok in a day or so. It just hurts and I am fed up with being in pain from injuries...

Not there yet...

I'm not exactly throwing myself into the return to running am I? I still have an idea that some sparkly new clothing might make all the difference, but I am fooling myself
I have a bad back which doesn't help - but all such things are connected...
I hurt my foot cos I was running a bit twisted which meant I cycled more than walked to work which exacerbated the (possible) cause of the bad back which is that my saddle was too high so that when I was going uphill, at the bottom of the pedal my lower back was twisting slightly to get the power on...
So, if the saddle height is the cause of all this, it would explain the stress fracture, the hurty foot and the bad back.
If this is the case, then everything is solved. If only everything in life was that simple...