Sunday run/crawl

3.04miles in 30' 29” 
10' 01” a mile 

That's 4.8km 

I am going to work up to 5km and keep that as my baseline doable and repeatable run. 
I'm blaming anti-depressants on being so bloated and unfit. But I actually know that's just me in denial... 
It's quite nice running from home - I keep discovering little alleys and routes behind houses and so on. Not exactly urban exploration but it make the run a bit more interesting 

A dreamlike state

If only.

Still - a run is a run. And I managed to go a little over the 5k distance. (Distances sound better in km - the numbers are bigger...)

Not fast, not spectacular other than nearly face planting the pavement for no apparent reason. And sweating so much that a kindly lady near the church felt sorry for me.

It may be the beginning of my new push to get fit again. I have a journal to fill out with my goals and what have you - one of which is to lose weight and this includes getting fitter. Perhaps with the right push it will motivate me to persevere.

'Motivation follows action'

oh, the effort...

I haven't been for a run for weeks and I have put on weight and generally not taken very good care of myself. So it was a struggle to go out for a run this Saturday. A proper, hardcore struggle.
I knew I wasn't going to go far or fast but I wasn't expecting the sheer agony of rudely-awakened muscles the next day...

It's almost enough to make me question (ever) venturing out again - but all the advice is that it gets easier. Do I believe that? I still view myself as someone who runs - self-delusional perhaps - so I have to get out and actually pound the streets from time to time. A parkrun? never done one, no reason not to start this week. It's 'only' 5km...

Stats from Saturday... unavailable right now cos Mapmyrun has got some interminable advert for Fred Olsen Cruises which has crashed... 

Ah, here goes - 2.04 miles in 20m 24s exactly 10-minute miles...

But that's only just over 3 1/4 km... perhaps I will have to build up to a 5km parkrun...
I can't believe I'm thinking that... I once ran a 1/2 marathon you know

at least I went for a run

Whitstable is my favourite place for a run - all that fresh sea air, relatively unknown surroundings, pretty flat - just perfect for a PB

Except - being hung over and over weight did not allow a pb. Far from in fact.
10min 11 per mile, I only managed 3.11 miles and I was struggling.

But I did go for a run and I didn't stop.
So yay me.

tough

OK I had to drag myself out this morning - it's a bank holiday and I had lots of wine last night. But no excuse not to go
I am glad I went, let me get that clear from the start
God it felt tough, though. Then when the mapmyrun lady piped up it was to say I was running miles in under 10 mins. Like, wow - I was pleased cos it explained why I was so tired

3.46 miles, 9m34s per mile - and that's the fastest I've been for months.

So I just have to keep doing it. I find it hard to believe I ever ran further - I know I'm overweight (again) and don't run much but I used to run 6 or 7 miles quite regularly. Perhaps I will get there again. Perhaps I will want to go that far again one day - for now, 3 or 4 miles is fine

new route

Well, it was a run - short and strenuous enough to leave me very red-faced. I've discovered about a mile of back alleys and off-roading routes to make the effort interesting. All I need to do now is up the distance to about 5 miles, up my speed to 9 30 a mile and I will feel I have progressed. But for now just getting out of the house for 30 mins is an achievement.
I trained for the 1/2 marathon from this place in Bishopston - how did I ever run 7 miles before work? I did though.
11 years ago now...

Don't blame the app

The app actually had saved my run - and the next one

3.73 miles, 9m 55s per mile

But the next one on Sun 7th...
2.51 miles and 9m 44s per mile - but I was knackered - totally puffed. I've put on some of the weight I recently lost, plus I did have a hangover - so there were mitigating circumstances... But I was mortified about how hard it was

So - do I stop running and save myself the pain and the exhaustion - or put this behind me, get out there and enjoy the experience (honestly it's possible) and just take heart from the fact I'm in my 50s but still running. Kind of.

Colleagues did the 10k at the weekend and did it in under 50 mins. So glad I didn't sign up - although if I had done long enough ago I would have been motivated to get training, right?

Motivation then - nothing difficult to understand there.

Back on track.

Well, back on the road/pavement etc etc

Not proud of my record this year - it seems to get harder all the time. But it's more mental than physical. Or perhaps I just have to accept I'm getting older and it will get tougher to keep going. But that's not the issue. The point is getting out there and 'enjoying' it. I do get the feeling of freedom and achievement though. And that is enough. Any more than that is pushing it - but then I do have the old '5% extra' thought along the way which gives me a little bit extra in reserve.

My bloody app - it doesn't seem to save my runs. The last one was 11 March - which is truth is the last time I ran - but I definitely saved yesterday's. I know it was over 10 mins a mile but there was a nice route I wanted to have a look at today.
Technology - it can be amazing but sometimes it just shortens your life,

Achievement

Well it's nothing to write home about but the very fact I've gone for a run seems worthy of note.
Second one this year...

And when I set off I felt amazing. I guess I've lost a stone in weight over the last year which helps - and just getting out of the house seems like a win. And the prospect of a different route - especially when I found a new lane behind the games field - it all fell into place.
Then I got a bit tired and my left hip began hurting.
But I kept going and I can now proudly hold my head high and say 'I went for a run'
Well done me

Just have to keep going now...

Also I could get some new running kit as a treat.
Or I could just keep wearing the stuff I already have., The perfectly good stuff I already have...

stats- well, mapmyrun has failed. I'm sure I saved the thing but it's not there. . the live feed suggested 9min 30 ish a mile which is OK - but -I need to up it to about 9min miles to keep under the hour for the 10k

seriously unrunny

Well, new year's day was the last time I went for a run. And it's now 7 Feb. I keep visualising myself running (isn't that what you're supposed to do to motivate yourself?) But no matter how much I think about it - I haven't been for a run since then.
My therapist recommends running for depression (to cure it not trigger it) and my head knows it's the right thing to do. But I've moved house and it's all wrong... Except no of course it isn't 'wrong'. Something is stopping me getting out there - perhaps it's the cold, the damp, the time it takes... Perhaps I need to motivate myself, to make not running worse than getting out there.
Some of my colleagues are going to run the Bristol 10K and I may just enter but not tell anyone so when they compare times I won't feel obliged to admit to taking over an hour... 6 miles. I should do it under an hour.
Sounds like I've convinced myself.
Troubling.
It sounds so easy of course - but it won't be,

Happy New Year

I have a lot of work to do...

I did go for a run on 1st Jan which I was very pleased about - even though I had a massive wobble. I got up to the downs and it began spitting, there was a huge black cloud in the distance so it didn't bode well. I actually turned around and was starting to drive back when I saw in the opposite direction the sky looked lighter. So I went for it.

Well done me

It was awful. Obviously there was the Christmas belly to contend with but also I've been doing so little running I have become quite unfit.

But at least I ran

Once

This year...

(so far)

All Uphill

It's getting harder to get out and running. I know it's getting colder which doesn't help but that's not the main thing. I think there is such a psychological aspect to running that I have to change my frame of mind to get me out there. It's why boyf runs with a club - as he says, he hands himself over to them and he just runs. I seem to spend a stupid amount of time psyching myself up.

But I did go for a run and it didn't kill me.

The new route round the allotments is nice - quite uphilly once I'm down in the valley but that's part of the challenge. I still ache and so on but I assume it's doing me more good than harm.
I feel better for going but it does kind of let me off the leash to spend the rest of the day lazing around. And eating too much. Or worse.

But - I have to keep going. And without the benefit of very expensive Sweaty Betty kit. It won't make a difference having £90 tights will it, even if they promise to be warm but wicky. I am just as likely to run in old leggings tbh - it's down to the state of my mind, not the state of my kit.

oo, that was quite deep.

Depression

Yesterday was a challenge.
As well as the usual effort required to get kitted up and out the door, I was buried under an overwhelming wave of depression. It makes me slow down to the point of catatonia; I need to cry, to turn myself off, to disappear.
Even my new bouncy shoes made no difference.
But I had 2 things on my side.
One is the accepted wisdom that exercise and especially outdoor exercise - ie running - is hugely beneficial at these times.
Two - bf was there to give me a proper hug and boot me out the door.
And it was the right thing to do - both the hug and the run. I felt a lot better for it.
The depression doesn't go away, it's not zapped out of existence like an infection blasted by antibiotics - but it becomes softer, more malleable and can be kept in its box.
Perhaps I will have to keep my running shoes at work and head out at lunchtimes for therapy (probably healthier than endless coffees) This will make me an elite something by Christmas. That plus the Headspace sessions will make me a superbrain ready to tackle anything and everything life and throw at me.

I live in a world of fantasy and fancy.

I. Feel. So. Bouncy

New Shoes!!!!

Nothing special, just got new shoes and they have changed everything.
Well sort of.
They're very much an improvement on my old ones.
But I had to swap their laces (bright neon pink) for my old grey ones. It seems like all shoes are now, by law, bright, fluorescent, nauseatingly colourful.  Apparently I like dull shoes. Who knew? (I refused to even try on the Barbie-coloured pair...)


More to the point - I ran like the wind. A slow breeze sort of wind...
4.5 miles - 9 min 41 a mile

last week, to compare:

28 sept: 4.5 miles 9 min 48 a mile
25 sept: 4.4 miles 9 min 49 a mile

like, crikey it's as though i have rockets on my feet....

I still can't believe I ran 13 and a bit miles once. Only once.
 

2 runs

Am I getting a bit ocd about these posts? I mean - no one cares if I do one after every run or not and it's not like it changes anything... But in truth I do like to look back and see what previous runs have been like - and how much pain I was in, that sort of thing...

so - the last 2 runs (not exactly over doing the commitment to running...)

4 sept
4.4 miles - 9 53 a mile

17 sept
4.53 miles - 9 min 55 a mile

so nothing life-changing - but nothing too shabby either

The most recent one (today) - I actually went a different route -  I went down past the allotments and along the railway line for a little while and then back up to ashley hill. It was disappointingly not very far as it was a lovely route (very green and no traffic) and then I just did the normal route. But changing is good.

Pains and so on - well, my hip is still troubling me a bit but the pain might be in a different place, or does the stress put on it by running helps it repair??? I don't know. Plus I tried to engage my hamstrings a bit more which engages my glutes which is something I really need to do more of.
So that's all good.

And it's all done in a fasted state so hopefully an effective weight-loss thing as I'm not eating until midday at the earliest - a 16-hour fast which is something I've been doing for a few months and have lost 10-12 lbs. Feel much better for it. Would like to lose a little more fat to feel a bit more angular. The main downside is that as I'm quite short it's extraordinarily hard to find clothes which fit. Perhaps I should try children's - they seem to grow quite large these days....

More pain...

Working on the various pains...
1. heel - just putting up with it I guess. I know rest is important (I'm good at that...) and stretching will come into it at some point - but there is a level of pain there which puts me off making it any worse. It hurts when I walk, mostly when I've been off it and then walk on it. Running seemed to be OK - it wears off fairly quickly. Not sure if that is a good thing or not
2. Hips - my osteopath is working on me. The foam roller is a main element in the rehabilitation process - never has anything self-inflicted hurt so much. I can only hope it's working. It hurts far more on the bad side so I think the principle is sound, and the pain is lessening - or my threshold is rising.
3. toe joint - no change but I am constantly aware I have to make sure my Glutes are engaged when running which sometimes means I have to feel I'm twisting. I just wasn't made very well...
But I did run this week - another turn around the downs. I would be very happy if I could get myself up there without the need for a bike/car. I know my limit is about 5 miles - it used to be a regular 7 but that was a lifetime ago - and so the downs run is a treat. Perhaps when I'm back at work I will cycle up at lunchtime... could only do that if it's very cold as my face turns beetroot when I run. Not sophisticated really...

stats
4.35 miles
9min 58 a mile - so not too shabby for me... (under 10 mins a mile is a triumph in my book)

Never without pain...

One day I will get through a run without a nagging pain.
But not yet

Today was hip and heel pain. The saga of the hip is that I have been to the osteopath and she gave me the most painful massage ever - really digging into the muscles. I had to go to my happy place to get through it tbh. But I didn't cry or use the safeword.

And the outcome is that my hip is more painful. I'm working on the assumption that this means something (ultimately) good is happening in there. I have stretches to work on as well which are painful and necessary. I sit around so much everything that should be moving and loose is tight and stiff. I'm getting old but there is no real reason why I can't keep supple and fit - apart from the arthritis thing everything just needs keeping moving.

Use it or lose it

I actually went to the gym before the run (and had cycled up there as well - I am a superhero)
3.21 miles
10.04 mins a mile. Slow but ffs I was in pain and I actually went out and did it

well done me

slow but sure

Another run - get me.
This time 10 years ago I was running 7 miles before breakfast

entry for 10 aug 2006:
Back on the road again....

Having survived various symptoms of lergy (lurgy??) I am back on the long road to wherever 13 and a bit miles will take me...

It wasn't too bad, once the first mile or so was done. This bit is all slightly uphill, so imagine setting off at 0620, uphill, feeling a little queasy and a lot knackered and you get the picture... But despite allowing myself to think about cutting the route short and taking it easy on myself, I did the whole thing and felt like a real trouper (trooper??) when I got back to safety and managed to separate my feet from my shoes.

So there you have it - I'm still in the running, whether I like it or not.

Was chatting to a friend who has just taken up running and claims to love it: she goes for about 3 and a half miles and feels on top of the world. She knows a person who runs 13 miles for fun then runs home up a steep hill. That person is obviously unstable and is to be avoided. How can anyone get to the stage when 13 miles is a 'fun run'?

I see Nick Rose running round the downs a lot - I remember him from way back (can't be sure when) and he was a terrific international runner, winning lots of races and generally being a local hero. He still goes at a hell of a rate and I'm sure he's just jogging...

I'm off on holiday tomorrow but the trainers are coming with me. A week away from the routine will test my mettle... 

So there - it really happened.
I don't think I'm downhearted about not being at that level now - I am realistic about my capabilities although I know I could push myself a lot harder. I guess I have to balance that against the injuries and knackerednesses I would have to endure.
But 10 years is a long time which has gone by very very fast.
At the rate I ran today my 1/2 marathon time would be... 2.2 hours. Even if I could keep going at just over 10 mins a mile...
But I have to accept that I can keep running though by muscles and hips are aching while I dod it - it doesn't feel like an injury, just age getting the better of me...

Hurty

OK - it was a bit hurty but at least I dragged myself out for a run and was very glad I did. It was even raining when I left the house and I went anyway.
(But then it stopped raining and was quite nice...)
It was OK - I went up to the downs with the intention of being kind to myself by running slowly (which I did) and once I got a bit warmed up the hip problem didn't get any worse. And today it's still relatively OK so perhaps it's a limited thing. I am stretching like an Armstrong which I hope helps as it's not very nice. I have also booked an osteopath session to see if there is something I can be doing to sort it out and also to have a go at my wonky shoulders.
No one warns you that 'getting old' starts so soon. I thought it might kick in at some point in the future but it looks like it's happening now.
How depressing is that...

Whinge

Oh I know I have a lot to feel thankful for.
But there are a few things I want to get off my chest

I haven't been for a run since the previous post - it's my hip. There is an ache heading down the outside of my leg towards my knee - and doesn't seem to be getting any better. I am stretching a bit (no doubt not enough) and I expect that's something I will have to keep up. But my hips are so tight - I see how they do the stretches on the yin yoga vidoes and I feel actually ashamed by my stiffness. My big concern is that it's arthritis. It's destroyed my toe joint but I'm managing to live with it - but if it's a hip thing I don't know how to deal with that.

But that's all kind of moot if I continue along the road to a mental breakdown. Today's been OK but Friday was a scary day. Panic, crying (the collapsed on the floor crying your face off sort), unable to move. Wanting to die.

I've lost 10lbs - which was supposed to make me feel better about myself. But, because NO ONE HAS NOTICED it means nothing to me. And I haven't been running to get the benefit of having less weight to haul around

When do things start getting better?