Whinge

Oh I know I have a lot to feel thankful for.
But there are a few things I want to get off my chest

I haven't been for a run since the previous post - it's my hip. There is an ache heading down the outside of my leg towards my knee - and doesn't seem to be getting any better. I am stretching a bit (no doubt not enough) and I expect that's something I will have to keep up. But my hips are so tight - I see how they do the stretches on the yin yoga vidoes and I feel actually ashamed by my stiffness. My big concern is that it's arthritis. It's destroyed my toe joint but I'm managing to live with it - but if it's a hip thing I don't know how to deal with that.

But that's all kind of moot if I continue along the road to a mental breakdown. Today's been OK but Friday was a scary day. Panic, crying (the collapsed on the floor crying your face off sort), unable to move. Wanting to die.

I've lost 10lbs - which was supposed to make me feel better about myself. But, because NO ONE HAS NOTICED it means nothing to me. And I haven't been running to get the benefit of having less weight to haul around

When do things start getting better?