Whinge

Oh I know I have a lot to feel thankful for.
But there are a few things I want to get off my chest

I haven't been for a run since the previous post - it's my hip. There is an ache heading down the outside of my leg towards my knee - and doesn't seem to be getting any better. I am stretching a bit (no doubt not enough) and I expect that's something I will have to keep up. But my hips are so tight - I see how they do the stretches on the yin yoga vidoes and I feel actually ashamed by my stiffness. My big concern is that it's arthritis. It's destroyed my toe joint but I'm managing to live with it - but if it's a hip thing I don't know how to deal with that.

But that's all kind of moot if I continue along the road to a mental breakdown. Today's been OK but Friday was a scary day. Panic, crying (the collapsed on the floor crying your face off sort), unable to move. Wanting to die.

I've lost 10lbs - which was supposed to make me feel better about myself. But, because NO ONE HAS NOTICED it means nothing to me. And I haven't been running to get the benefit of having less weight to haul around

When do things start getting better?

Bursitis...

...possibly.

It hurts exactly as google says it would. It's come on after running - like google said it would. Google said it's caused by a tight IT band among other things - which is feasible.

So I will have to do those hideous stretches - and keep at them - until I am no longer stiff as a board and could pass for someone 20 years younger

We can all dream...



god it's annoying this aging process.

Old

Well, I feel old. My left hip aches like a nasty thing and I can't run straight cos of my arthritic toe joint.

So, old

But not so old I didn't go for a run this morning - in the very leggings I bought in Jasper to run in Canada. Which was nice.

I did a run round the downs and realised today is when the Race For Life is on - I could have done that... Except I'm working today on a project which is frankly doing my head in so much I'm taking August off as unpaid leave to regain some level of sanity. Extreme I know but sometimes you have to take control of your life,

I found it slightly easier to run than I feared - possibly cos I have lost about 10lbs. It feels great but I know I won't be happy until I look and feel slimmer. There is a slight element of eating disorder about my thinking from time to time - but this week I have been eating better and have only lost 1/2 lb or so. That's OK. I've done it on intermittent fasting - the 16:8 not the 5:2 version (I can't stand the long days without food) This one is 16 hours fasting in 24, 5 times a week. And when you're eating you can have pretty much what you like - not too much obviously but as long as you're eating healthily you lose weight. It's to do with getting into the fat-burning zone once you've had 12 hours without eating - so after about 8am I spend the next 4 hours burning fat - which is then gone. If you eat enough calories to remain the same weight over the course of a day, you haven't spent 4 hours burning fat - so there is a net loss over the day despite eating maintenance levels of food.

It works

long-distance run

Well, not 'long distance' as in 'I ran a long way' - more that it was a long way from home. Jasper in Canada in fact. It was beautiful there - the mountains were perfect - a light dusting of snow glowing in the morning light.
I went out for a run about 630am and it was below freezing - but how fresh and clean the air was! Running alongside the railway track (which carried trains at least a mile long...) and then onto a cycle track which headed off into the unspoilt woodland.
It was so lovely that even the aching calf muscle couldn't spoil it totally.
Also I had to buy new running kit as I hadn't packed any, thinking I was going to have a 2-week rest to allow my calf to recover.
So - yes I should have let my calf rest - but I would have missed out on the most amazing run.
The leggings were North Face and were perfect - apart from the lack of drawstring meaning they fell down and there is no key pocket. I very much should have packed some...

Honestly - this was what I was running through...

Slow and painful...

So it's a bank holiday and it wasn't raining (too much) this morning so I did what any right-minded serial jogger would do - I got in the car and went up to the downs for a run.
It was all looking ok and in truth I was beginning to enjoy it once I got warmed up.
But then came a dull ache in my right calf - nothing worse than I've had before. But it got worse and worse - and having been through the trauma of a proper torn calf muscle I decided to walk back to the car and call it a day.
Very disappointing.
I'm away for a couple of weeks so I guess I will pick it up again when I get back - and it might be just the thing to rest for a couple of weeks.
Like I need an excuse...

get a grip...

It was an OK run - but towards the end I decided I could run faster - so I did. For about 3 minutes.
And it really hurts today. My poor foot that doesn't work very well now has a painful arch and as for my calves, well, don't go there.
But I was under the 10 mins a mile average which is pleasing considering I did the hilly route round the downs.
I could post the stats but I can't really be bothered...

hey ho - onwards and upwards

I watched a bit of the London Marathon yesterday - how those people do I I don't know. I struggle to run for 40 mins and they're going for hour after hour. I know there is a boost from the crowd but they can't give you more puff or less pain. Could I ever do such a thing? I honestly don't think so cos I don't have the motivation.
So what I'm saying 'I could do it, I just don't want to.' Anyone believe that?
Thought not

Seaside - yay!

A weekend in wonderful Whitstable: great friends, great weather - and great runs. Yes, runs - 2 of them... Don't often to consecutive days (ever???) but I was out there on Saturday and then, blow me down, Sunday as well...

Sat
4.34 miles/ 10:06 mins per mile

Sun
2.76 miles/10:30 per mile

so - spectacularly slow but it is so good to run along the shore - lots of groynes to leap over (...) and shingle beach to slow me down hence the slow time...but the air and the scenery is enough to keep me going quite happily...

a run on the downs

It was OK. It made sense to drive up to the downs as it's far nicer than running from home. And I am very down these days. I know running's supposed to give you a lift and I guess it does. I'm still on the 16:8 (not exactly losing a shedload of fat but there you go) so I was running on an empty stomach. It was tough to begin with but it got a little easier later on.
44m 53s
4.47 miles
10m 02 per mile.
I am a jogger not a runner. Being a jogger is a fine and noble pursuit. It's good for me and keeps my mind off the current shitty nature of my life as I see it. I have no right to call my life in any way shitty compared with 99.9% of the world - but I am down.
Me
Work
Home
When will the good things happen?

Better

This morning was so different.

For a start I have been back on the 16:8 intermittent fasting regime (not eating between 8pm and midday) so I was running on an empty stomach - but it felt fine. Surprisingly.

Where the pains were:
1. knackered toe joint after about 30 mins
2. left hip at the side
3. general hips on both sides - possibly due to the crappy running action caused by running lop-sided on my knackered toe.

But - it was a run which made me feel better for having been on it. So that's good, right?

Running for mental health

There is a lot of evidence to support that running is good for your mental health - reducing stress hormones, improving appetite and sleep, having a goal even if it's just to get out of the house and run for 30 mins.
I do harbour a few mental health issues - general depression, anxiety, the usual modern afflictions - and I never regret going for a run even if it's a huge effort to get out there.
Perhaps it's time to make a greater commitment to just getting out there
I may even take the radical step of running in my walking shoes (the clumpy merell things). I have run in them before - in France on a holiday - and it was ok. With the mid-foot strike there is less need for the heel cushioning and there is plenty of support around the mid-foot. It's a plan in case I decide to go away in May and only want to take the one pair of shoes. It's going to add a level of suspense to today's run...


later
I got ready to go and convinced myself it was a good idea. And I truly believed that it would do me good and was happy at the thought.
I drove up to the downs and the heavens opened. I was tooled up with the app and headphones and ready to go. But I gave in. Decided that a hot bath would do me more good. I started driving back home - but then the rain stopped so I forced myself to get over myself and run.
I set off and felt like shit. I was heavy and slow and desperately unhappy. I walked a bit of the way.
In total I dragged myself for 1.6 miles and came home.
Now I feel terrible, a failure. I spent the rest of the day eating and making myself sick. Hate that it's come to this.
I know that on a better day I would tell the story differently - that despite the rain I went for a run which is an achievement
But today I feel wuite down.

it's been a while...

I think there has been a couple of runs recently - but using the tiny ipod means I don't have the stats. Although that doesn't mean the runs don't count.
Does it?
Accurate stats never used to matter, in my days of training for the 1/2 marathon. Then it was a bit of cotton wound round the course on a scale map..

That was 10 years ago.
10 YEARS
ffs what's happened to all that time?

I know I'm much slower (and fatter and older) but it was mst definitely a jog this morning. I did go around the downs for the first time in a year or so (cos I can now drive after 12 months of purdah waiting to see if I have another seizure and am banned for another 12 months - but it's fine and I'm back on the road. Yay!)

4.28 miles
10m 26s a mile.
Really slow.

On my leisurely way round the downs I was overtaken by a young perfect person and I began to berate myself for being the way I am - slow, overweight, red in the face, ungainly - I could go on. But then I got a grip - ff sake, I thought, I am in my 50s and still running - I might not be fast or particularly fit - but I compare well with most women my age and running is part of how I define myself. The ladies at my partner's running club aren't particularly fast either - they do it for all their own reasons but mostly cos they enjoy it. And there are times when I am loving the feeling - there is strength in my legs, the sun is out, people are waving (well one chap did) and I realise how blessed I am to be where I am, capable of running - I am one of the luckiest people on the planet.
Even if I do feel that sometimes I have the weight of the world on my shoulders...

To the stars, Gaia, whoever - thank you (and I accept the responsibility to care for myself)

not exactly impressive but...

... it was a run in anyone's book. I tried putting it off as long as possible but the damn thing wouldn't go away.
So I went. It was very warm today which was odd.
But it's done and it's earned me an afternoon on the sofa admittedly doing 1/2 worky things but that's ok. And there are baked potatoes baking for later and all is good with the world.
Apart from the headache, the aching muscles, the blistery little toe and so on.
No, it's all good.
Mostly good.

Unusual

Running in the evening. Unusual. Out of character.

Still, a run's a run. And this one was fine. Far better than I'd feared. I am quite pooped now but I'd spend all afternoon watching a film, feeding tiny bits of wood into the fire. It was a full time job as the wood was all too long and needed feeding in bit by bit and they were spitty so there was a constant need to be on spark watch. And there was the issue of burning through this wood at such a pace that we kept on having to get more. It's a grubby business.

But I did go for a run.

:-)

Happy New Year

Hmm. I did run on New Year's Day which is a thing. It was OK. I guess I am running out of excuses not to run. Although one of my colleagues said 'running's bad for you - knees' yesterday and he's a bit right. But then doing no exercise is far, far worse for your joints. And I do gym and cycle and yoga from time to time so I'm not going to use him as an excuse.

I'm not going to set targets or anything this year (have I ever?) just go out there as and when and enjoy it as far as that can happen. If I sign up for a 10K or half marathon then so be it.
But I doubt that I will...

Winter is coming...

it's so cold.
Wait, it's quite warm today.
no - cold again
mild...

Sorry old joke

It was ok. I mean I was expecting the 3-week gap to have had some very bad effects - but the truth is it was fine for the first 85% or so - then I felt tired and my mind began wandering off into fantasies of sofa, water, shower...

But - it's done.

My left ankle is a bit hurty  - I slipped over on wet leaves earlier in the week (wrenched shoulder, grazed knee, hurt pride) and I must have twisted my ankle a bit. Still, I managed to run the best part of 5 miles on the thing so I guess there's not too much wrong with it. Also I did the yin yoga thing last night - that surely has to help. Possibly need to do it twice a week rather than twice a month...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sDPQyWZJi0

It's tough and I don't do the end bits cos I am weak. But I think it must be beneficial.

frankly shabby

I know I keep missing out on my updates but seeing as it's only me who ever reads the things it seems daft to fret...

hello - anyone out there?

there is a mighty echo in cyberspace...

this morning it was perishing - but that's ok tbh. I did a usual route - the reverse one - and it was ok. i was flagging by the end but other than that it was ok.
no stats - using the old ipod nano these days.
note to self - must put some more recent music on the playlist - and less muse.

so - as all is well, there is nothing to stop me running twice a week and possibly even upping the distance - perhaps a 5-miler is possible...

A nice Sunday morning run. Would be nice.

OK I've had about 3 weeks off - terrible chesty cold excuse.
There was another run before then, just being lax with the recording tbh

but today's was another new approach - ditching the iphone/mapmyrun combo and just using my old ipod mini thing - listening to music, not being at all concerned about the nice lady telling me how slowly I'm runing.

So I have no idea how far I went other than it was the same route as usual (I think I am beyond cracking the 5-mile mark...)  and it was no doubt slow. But I ran out of puff, my arthritic toe was aching and my left side hips/thigh were hurting (probably due to the flipping arthritic toe)

But it was ok. I don't want to join the club and turn into a running bore - they're lovely people but omg they go on...

Will I continue? I want to - it's  good, flexible exercise and it makes me feel good. But the toe is an increasingly big issue. It's aching and it's affecting how I run - twisting possibly, lop-sided at least.
Perhaps a sports massage to ease the left side a bit - I  have no idea. 

Don't ever get old.
Don't ever get arthritis.

Gardening + running = knackered legs

I do like gardening - although not while the place is still a building site - with no change in sight tbh.
It was the autumn clear-out yesterday - lots of lavender to cut down, weeds to pull, perennials to tidy, that sort of thing. Lots of ground-level working, lots of working those leg and back muscles.
So when I got up this morning I was stiff and achy. But like a true hero I went for a run anyway...
(too dramatic??)

4.36 miles
9m 51 per mile

So nothing particularly good other than the amazing achievement of getting out there for a run. The weather was gorgeous which helps and I was quite early (got back about 9am) and it was all OK.
Really, it was ok. Nothing hugely painful and I didn't feel like giving up.
So, proof if proof were needed that I don't have to run every day - once a fortnight is more than often enough.
no... wait...

Dispiriting if you let it

Well, I was pleased I went for a run yesterday - the usual route - but run in reverse - usual time, if a couple of seconds a mile faster whoopie doo.

that's it really. It was the day of the Bristol half marathon and so I had to bite my tongue when the runners around me were banging on about PBs and how they beat a rival by a single second. And so on.
I have to just suck it up and pretend I don't want someone to appreciate that my going for a run takes just as much effort as anyone else.

baby steps

Baby steps might be all I'm good for, frankly. But it's not the end of the world

I spent last weekend with a large group of people from a running club. It was like being with the Moonies: everyone was telling me how marvellous the club - and running - is, that no one gets left behind (well, that's encouraging - I mean patronising) and how when they started they got out of breath and they didn't like it and now they've pretty much all run marathons.
I was being indoctrinated.
On the other hand - they were all of an age as me, and some were of a build too (the more dedicated marathon runners where wiry) so there is no reason why I couldn't join them and add some sociability to my runs.
But that would also mean that I would be expected to talk while running - and that would make me a walker...

but hey ho

I did an evening run this week and it was ok. Actually nothing like as bad as I was expecting - it's often like that, the expectation being far worse than the reality.
My left hip was aching and my right foot was a bit iffy to begin with - and towards the end my toes were banging into the ends of my shoes which is unpleasant as my squished little toe is quite painful when it rubs. (There is a lovely corn thing there now)
at least my right big toe nail is hanging on in there for now - it's getting very black and a bit dead-looking at the bottom. Unpleasant.

4.34 miles
9m 41/mile

Not the worst ever.