Injured

I've been letting things slip - eating and drinking too much, even allowing the rain to stop me going for my walk - but not then doing a Joe Wicks workout either. one of my excuses for not running has been the fear of injury - which shouldn't be a thing but it's part of my long list of excuses.

So imagine how pleased with myself I was this morning when I headed out for an actual run. It was awful: I have gone all weighty again, I am eating badly and too much etc etc. And I need new shoes, have I mentioned that before? And apart from a light shower of drizzle and the need to walk a little, I managed to negotiate the hills without stopping, I ran through nettles and brambles and along the rutted lane behind the allotments.

I was well pleased when I got home and stopped the mapmyrun and tripped over the step and went flying... twisted ankle, scraped knee and hand.  It's not exactly bad, but it's annoyed me. Hopefully it won't stop me walking tomorrow and running again at least once this week.

5.45km
6m 50s per km
I feel old, slow, weighty and hurty

Glowing

It's become a bit of a thing, coming back from my run and immediately sitting down and reviewing it.  And it's at this point where I realise that the genre-busting post I'd been drafting in my head had utterly disappeared from my mind. Sorry about that.

So, what I have is this: it was OK. Better than last time as I felt less like walking. Also it felt a bit easier getting out of the house. Will I ever go for a run during the day? - I don't know. It would make sense as then I have all day to decide as opposed to limiting my choice to first thing in the morning and then the opportunity is gone for the rest of the day.

The shops reopen on Monday - I could get some new running shoes then (I expect there will be spectacular queues)

5.31 km
6m 30s per km

Privilege

There is a lot happening today. Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, global pandemic, refugees, terrorism, extremism.

And I worry about the fact that I have bought unflattering running shorts and my belly wobbles as I run.

5.29km
6m 34s per km

It's an Age Thing

For a change, I was listening to some music - a mix from BBC Sounds  - but I'm just not getting it. I feel so old but there is some much saminess - same voices - the gravelly ones - the rappers - the singer-songwriter . The songs are all about love and sex

Then Lose it (Eminem) came on and I do have a bit of history with that - (after all it came out in 2004) and I remembered how you can get lost in music, how it can move you. 
I have a kind of locked box where I stuffed all my old angst-ridden teenage diaries - and recently found the key. When I read through some of them, I realised I was all about mad crushes, sex and music. But all the music I listened to was samey - rock, ska - then goth - they were the tribes we lived in and from the outside, they all sounded the same

Anyhoo:

5.25km
6m 31s

A run on the downs

- for the first time in ages.

Reasons I felt it was a struggle:
1. overweight (not losing weight by numbers, but I think I'm losing muscle as I'm not going to the gym, so I'm basically turning into an amorphous blob)
2. It was hot - again. This has been the sunniest May on record by miles. It's been amazing and has helped enormously in making the lockdown bearable.
3. Worn out shoes
4. General laziness from now being at work for so long

I actually had to walk for a short bit - I know most of it is psychological but I think it was probably the right thing to do as it helped me get round the rest of the lap not feeling like I wanted to stop again

But I think the real reason is this:
6.29km
average pace - wait for it - 6m 19s per km. Which means I was running like the wind for way further than 5km.

Day Six

So far so good. No wine, being very disciplined with the intermittent fasting (it's actually very easy when you know you cannot eat anything because you don't have to decide how much or how little to eat of what) I feel a little bit lighter - the numbers aren't agreeing but if I'm feeling better in myself is the important thing.

5.11 km
6m 37s per km

Listening to Quanderhorn a very silly but quite clever sitcom on the BBC

Day One

I'm on a new health kick. Yesterday was Day Zero when I killed all my demons (ie I had a bacon bap for breakfast, and slobbed around the house for most of the day). It was a laying to rest of the habits that have brought me down recently.
This is a weight tracker for over the last 6 months or so:

It's obvious where this was heading. And I want to get back to where I was in November.  That felt far more comfortable.

So I've put that out there with the idea it'll shame me (perhaps 'motivate' would put a more positive spin on it...) and hopefully, in a few months time, the curve will be flipped over.

Today's run was a bit of a struggle - perhaps because I ate so much yesterday.

And yet:
5.17km
6m 29s per km - which is surprisingly faster than recently.

And so: day one. This is where new habits start. I'm not going to slob around quite so much; I'm going to do those niggling little jobs that are so easy to ignore. I'm going to take care of myself better, vut right back on the wine, be confident that it's ok to make mistakes.

Watch this space...

Average

Listening to The Corrupted which is a drama told across 5 series of 10 parts - it's really good. I love the idea of following a long saga. It weaves in contemporary history as well. Recommend.

5.34 km
6m 46s/km - it's over 10m 30s a mile which is slow but I think I can accept that.

A 10 minute mile is 6m 12s per km

It's a lovely morning and I was out of the house by 0715 after a crap night's sleep. I just didn't offer myself the choice of not going. If it had been raining it would have been a different matter - I have not even gone for a walk in the past week as the weather's been so awful. But it's May now - my favourite month: everything is looking green and the days are long. And then I think the longest day is only next month and the decline into Autumn has begun. But then I get over myself and enjoy the day.

Niggles: left foot is aching, left ankle too. Everything else seems to be working pretty well.

So all in all, this was a very average run.
Well done me*



                                                                                                          *Averagely well done me

Definitely need new shoes

During these times of lockdown and excessive online shopping, I need to rein in my spending on any unnecessary things.
New shoes are necessary. I will just get the same again. But what if they're not right - the design changes all the time... And it's so nice to get fitted properly. hmmm

Moti

5.15 km
6m 42s

No faster then, but I am getting into it a little bit more. Too much weight to carry of course. I dread to think what I might look like while I'm running. I guess I shouldn't worry about that, the important thing is getting out there.

This was in the Guardian this morning: it touches on a lot of the current existential discomfort we're all feeling.

The Missing Cryptoqueen

I've been obsessed with The Missing Cryptoqueen -  a BBC podcast about a cryptocurrency which isn't what it seems, the woman who set it up and the consequences for everyone involved. It's just so engaging, perfect for a run. Recommended.

Advert over.

I definitely need new shoes. I thought it was the way I was running which made my feet thud so heavily - but there is almost no padding left on the soles of my trusty old Asics. I bought them on 10th June 2016 so they've done OK. POssibly not done all that many miles and the mapmyrun doesn't do a running total. (see what I did there...)

On the upside, it's made me even more aware of how I'm running and I've been consciously using more spring from my arches and engaging my hamstrings more. I sound like an elite athlete. I don't look like one.

I reckon I've found a pretty good 5km route which is largely off-road/pavement and which I can extend if the mood takes me.

5.27km
34m 56s
6m 37 per km

There be dragons

Well, mainly fox poo tbh.
I ran down some of the new paths I've discovered while on my lockdown walks. Turns out there's quite a few of them round these parts. Far more interesting than house-lined roads. But a lot of fox poo to dodge.

5.51km - forgot to turn the sound on so I wasn't getting km markers but that's ok - I'd walked most of it anyway.
11.2 mins/km walking
6.36 km/m running
At least I'm faster at running

Also I felt a lot better than I have done recently - perhaps not drinking anything for a couple of days has helped. It's too easy to open a bottle at lunchtime (no kidding) and then finish it by bedtime. No one around to judge.

I've decided one of my lockdown pastimes will be to map all these little paths and cut-throughs. It's a thought. And I will mark where all the dragons live...

Well, that just happened

So I hauled myself out for a run with a new insight: as well as putting my kit out ready I should prepare my playlist the night before. I take an age to put it together even though it's usually only a podcast or play. (With a backup music playlist in case it all goes horribly wrong)

This morning was Detective Trapp which was interesting enough to listen all the way through the first part.

Perhaps a little too interesting...

I decided to go the other direction once I got to Horfield Common and pick up an old route through Henleaze (one of the dullest areas of Bristol) But I made the mistake of heading down an unfamiliar road and ended up god knows where. All the roads look the same round there. I have little sense of direction at the best of times and I really didn't know which way I should be going. Thank heavens for google maps. Turns out the road I was thinking of taking was basically totally the wrong direction.

6.52 km
6m 42s / km so very slow

Thoughts: I think I could have got to 10k if there weren't any hills (too many killer hills round here but at least I didn't walk up them...) And my left Achilles is aching. Is there something I can do to stop that happening? I think I need to land more centrally on my forefoot and bounce off my arches - something I've always been bad at. Current body part I'd like to exchange: feet.

Another 5k

Well, get me very much. Although I haven’t quite achieved the 3x5k a week I thought I was going to aim for. But I indeed ran further than 5km (not much over but there you go)

33m27s
5.18km, 6m27s per km - so ever so slightly faster  than the last one - and faster than the park run at Eastville park - which shows how bad I am on hills

I listened to a BBC podcast about Thomas Middleton who was a playwright contemporary of Shakespeare but wrote far darker plays and better parts for women - good on him. And then I listened to a Radio 1 workout playlist which was OK - listening to music is a different experience, more contemplative than speech. Not sure how I liked it - perhaps getting the perfect track is hard to find.

Rugly: a portmanteau of running + ugly. About 1/2 way round I realised my hoodie had come unzipped and I know that meant my belly was being framed and not in a flattering way. I know these kinds of things shouldn't concern me - but they do. As does how my face looks: I have to accept the redness (in a way it is OK as it just means I'm exerting myself) but it's the rest of my face which is troubling. I'm getting old and my jowls are becoming increasingly prominent and ageing. And I'm thick around the middle - a symptom of middle-age spread as well as being overweight again. And just everything really. I see other people out running and they are young and slim and tall and fast; I'm not one of them, I'm a slowcoach. Philosophically I have to accept the body I have and be grateful I can still run even if it's a bit crap.

It’s the Queen’s speech this evening. It’s an odd feeling - nice to know she’s there but she’s hardly in the same situation as the rest of us, but I guess she’s quite good at saying the right thing in the circumstances.

I’m writing this on my iPad with the fancy keyboard cover which I splashed out on for my travels. That’s not going to happen now. I 'm even thinking about taking some unpaid leave next year and try again. I think even if travel is allowed this June/July there will be nothing to travel to. Or perhaps they will all be so desperate for people to spend money I'd be welcomed with open arms.

But no that’s not how this is going to pan out is it.

The right thing to do

I've moved onto kilometres - with the idea that I will do a 5k run 3 times a week for the duration of the lockdown. 5K is a little bit further than I thought.

Today then:
5.92 km
6.38m/km (no idea how that works 0.38 of a minute or 38s? doesn't matter) (It's 10.26 mins/mile)

The plan, such that it is, is to get into the running again. And find out of the elusive runners' high actually exists for me. There are so many examples of people saying running helps their mental health - that any form of exercise is beneficial. I mean - of course it's beneficial, we're not designed to loaf around all day (even though that's kind of what's going to get us through this)

And so I will endeavour to do this 5k thing.

What helped enormously this morning was having had just 1/2 glass red last night (which is practically tea-total compared with my recent intake). Being a borderline alcoholic (but if I see myself as a borderline alcoholic probably means I am quite a long way down the line) it's not a good place to be. It's hard though - this isolation, these uncertain, unknowable times makes the usual; rules feel unnecessary, that any form of personal restrictions feel pointless: if there is no one to judge you why should you care about what you do? But is that the attitude of someone who believes other people's opinions are more important than their own.

There are many opportunities to get to know ourselves better during there uncertain, unknowable times.

Stay safe

covid19

What the hell is happening?

This is day 1 of the lockdown and I have already taken advantage of my single allowable excursion into the fresh air for daily exercise. So basically it takes a national emergency for me to get out for a run?

And it's kind of given me a dry cough (but I often get that after a run - must be the fresh air)

It's been a lovely few days weather-wise which is a kind of salve for the upheaval we're all experiencing. And in truth - to get out into the fresh air and drag some air into my lungs felt like a very good thing to be doing.

But omg was it a struggle. I have put on some of the weight I lost last year (about 1/2 of it, 5lbs in truth) and I've been knocking back the wine (no one can judge you when you're on a solo lockdown...)
So all that made it a struggle:
2.54 miles
10m 43s a mile.
I mean - that is the worst run I've done in terms of distance and speed for a very long time. But I did do a different route around the back lanes so it was at least interesting.

Now is the time to decide if I'm going to make running my thing. It makes perfect sense at the moment to up my frequency and distance over the next few weeks. There is no reason not to.

One extra note - this morning I did a yoga flow before I ran - only 1/4 of an hour - and it really did energise me. That's the sort of claim which I would normally snoot at but I can recommend doing it. Whether I will do it daily is another matter - but I did the yoga and the run after a bottle of wine last night and now I feel epic. (Doesn't take much, right)

A regular run

Regular, as in, once a month, that is...

But out I went. I even checked the rain forecast as it's been raining non-stop for days. And it started spitting about a mile in and I seriously thought about heading back. Such a wimp. And yet when it stopped, I was OK about continuing with the run, it felt like it was a good thing to be doing right then, yet again proving the truism that getting out there is the hardest part.

So here it is:
4.55 miles
11mins average pace.

I have no idea why it was so desperately slow today. I had to wait to cross the road a couple of times and I didn't exactly sprint up the hills and I am back on the intermittent fasting so I'm peckish - but still...

But I am so very glad I went for a run.

First run of the decade!

It was OK. At times I was wondering why I make such a fuss about it. OK, I was a little out of breath but while the joints and muscles and connective tissue weren't actually hurting, it was OK.

Slow, though

4.8 miles
10m 29s a mile.

There were hills involved

And a hurty knee

Thought processes: keep your elbows in and allow your knees to drive the motion. Worked well until I did something my right knee didn't like. It was a worry, but it settled down again mostly.

NATs
I look pretty bloody ugly when I run - red face, chin jutting forward, hair just a fright, arse wobbling etc etc
Bits of me are going to hurt
There is no point - I'm too old to get any benefit and I am impressing no one.

PETs
I look bloody good for my age
Looking ugly is temporary and no one is looking anyway
I don't hurt all the time
Occasionally - just occasionally - I feel the mindfulness of running

I would love to have a running track through a forest or along a coast (a flat one) but I have to accept the wild streets of Bishopston are perfectly good for day to day. If I go away in the Spring I can find some new places to tackle.

Note to self - never run during school delivery time. I hate the way they believe no one else has any right to use the pavement, that perhaps they aren't the centre of everyone else's universe. I mean, just pushing the pram onto the path just as I was getting there - do they never fucking look where they're going? It's the sense of entitlement which winds me up.
Just saying

last run of the decade!

Well, I do feel virtuous! I don't know if it was purely so I could say I ran on the last day of the decade which motivated me to get out there this morning, but out there I very much went.

Looking back through the blog I did a run on the 3rd January 2010 so it's almost a perfect 'first and last' achievement... and back then I was wrestling with the Nike+   gadget whereas now it's all mapmyrun, parkrun and Zombies Run!

3.62 miles
10m 29s a mile

It feels like the same old struggle every time I go out. I know it's good to get out there and I need to keep fit as I get old - but where is the endorphin rush? The feeling of freedom and adventure? Or am I expecting ever so slightly too much?

First mid-50s run

3.61 miles
10m 12s per mile

Well, that was a challenge. When the lady told me my first mile was 10m 57s I almost gave up...  but that's just a distraction.

The important thing is I kept going - despite the rather knackered running shoes and my seeming inability to stop thumping into my toes (perhaps just tie the shoes a little more firmly???) I did over 3 1/2 miles!

Nothing particularly going through my head other than whether I should get some new shoes - and if so, should I get the same ones online or go to Moti and get some fitted and new and possibly far more expensive... seems like a no-brainer. I know for a fact that getting shiny new kit won't encourage me to run - that kind of motivation comes from my internal monologue.

So - wishing everyone who celebrates Christmas a happy one and to everyone, a happy and healthy new year.

Cold and frosty - what was I thinking?

Well, I went for a run and it was indeed cold and frosty - and it felt really good. I was concerned about my left foot which felt a bit stress fracture-y but it's OK. Both my knees were a bit peaky and my hips got a bit stiff. But all in all, it was OK.

Underwhelming in terms of a run but how amazingly amazing am I for getting out there?

I definitely need new running shoes - I am thumping down, no spring at all. But is that more to do with my arches? Surely the mid-strike concept is that you don't need the padding cos all the spring comes from your feet? Not an expert.

Didn't start the app so I don't really know how far etc - about 40 mins I reckon so that's acceptable.

The little icon at the bottom of this page is telling me this is
formal 4/5
forceful 2/5
compliant 1/5
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about this.

PS just amended the text a bit and the scores have all changed. I know what to do with this: ignore.