CHANGE OF DIRECTION

Sorry for shouting but I think my life is about to take an abrupt turn.
Like, resigning my job with no concrete plan for the future.
It's a biggie. The biggest maybe.

So I need some kind of focus otherwise I will descend into invisibility - overweight, middle-aged, a nobody

The only thing I can't change is the passage of time. So I use Time to my advantage (stay with me, it's all getting a bit self-help)
It will take time to tackle the weight issue
It will take time to regain fitness, strength and flexibility (as far as that is physically even possible) and it will take time to make my way in this brave new world of my own creation.

But in the meantime - it's a horrible morning so I'm going to stay in the relative warm, do my possibly useless teeth-whitening and start on my copywriting course which will change my life.

Possibly.

The world is full of possibility

(written 24th Jan)

Cheeky blighters

It was a vile morning but I went out anyway, full of vim and vigour. Made it up to the first high point without any drama.

A young chap asked for my help as he'd been at a friend's house and couldn't find his way to Temple Meads. It's about 2 -3 miles from that point. So I pointed him in the right kind of direction and off he went. I hope he got there OK

When I set off again, my calf muscle was quite painful. Dilemma: do I go on regardless, or accept I need to rest/stretch/strengthen it and wait for it to mend. So I decided to go home, less than a mile away.

Annoying though

But when I stopped the mapmyrun thing, one of the adverts popped up:
'you made that 1.69 mile WALK look easy, why not raise money for cancer research'

1.69 mile WALK.

WALK

I ran (that's RAN) 1.69 miles before the pain started.
OK my pace was 11m 25s a mile which is possibly the very definition of

Perhaps only I will ever know I had run every step of the way

I did it

It was a grizzly morning - that grey rain which just makes you want to stay inside and drink tea.
But on my 'I Am Doing This' list was to go for a run.
So I very much did just that.

It wasn't nice.

My first concern was to keep my phone dry. Just hoped for the best really. It was fine.

Next was the burden of a lack of fitness and a massive arse. I am finding it tough to get my breath back after a gentle slope. It didn't seem to be getting any easier  - but then came the pace update - 9mins 42. I am quite surprised. It totally explains why I was so out of breath - but not why I was running faster...
It meant of course that the run was shorter - just over 30 mins which isn't the idea. I think 45 mins is better. But I could not have run much further this morning.

And I have a calf strain. It wasn't too much but got worse over the last 10 mins or so. Not sure why it's happening - is it something linked with the arthritis?

And I'm writing this standing up at the kitchen table - it's meant to be much better for you, isn't it. I have to think of my massive arse at the p[oint and hopefully, gramme by gramme it will shrink Hopefully to the size it was this time last year before I stupidly put every lb back on

But now I'm back - showered and with the whole day ahead with nothing planned. Just how I like it, tbh.

I am not doing this *hangs head in shame*

That didn't last long. I was honestly going to run this morning but when I felt the remnant of an achilles twinge left over from Friday, I didn't go.

This is the problem with me - the lack of motivation and the belief in my other mantra  'motivation follows action' - another blatant  and oft-proved truism.

So, in the light of 'new year new me' (which has got off to a very shaky start)  I will just get over myself and lose the stone in weight I seem to have put back on (thank you wine and chocolate. And bacon)

So here goes.

I will lose the 10 lbs I regained last year because that will tackle the depression and lack of self confidence. Also, I will embrace running and yoga to become as lithe, (well, as much as a short-arse can be lithe) supple and fit as I feel the person I am is.

Advanced grammar.

It's also pay day at the much-reduced rate thinks to going part-time. It's a massive pay cut. It might be the worst decision I've ever made - or it could make the whole self-improvement thing a doddle.

I hope I can convince myself it's the latter otherwise I will be whiling away my spare time watching Netflix and drinking wine. And that is not the person I believe I am deep down. (Problem is, that person is really, really deep down these days)

This is a wake-up call like no other. (Apart from the last few)

I Am Doing This

'I Am Doing This' is my new mantra.

It's streets head of looking in the mirror and telling myself  'I can do this': it's immediate - it's  already happening.
It works when I haven't even begun to do the thing: a statement of intent as much as a status update.

So that's the new thing

I ran this morning - I didn't want to, in fact I would have found it so very easy to talk myself out of it. I've done that many, many times before. But 'I am doing this' happened and there I was, running. And feeling quite pleased about it. Don't like the hills, but there you go.

Incidentally I hear there is a film about the Ashton Court Park un on BBC Inside Out West on 22 January - it's the story of a family coming together and training for this 5km run. It's awesome.


3.44miles
9m58s a mile

Just lurking under the 10 minute mile. Is that ever going to change? Only if I put my heart and soul into it.

Am I doing this?

Back on track. Kind of.

A not-too-bad run this morning. It was OK. What can I say?

It was very cold and my left index finger was white with shock for a couple of miles but it warmed up.

I started listening to a podcast but gave up – it wasn’t funny enough or clever enough so I bailed and listened to ‘Elsinor’ from BBC. It’s a prequel to Hamlet. If I’d known it was a prequel before I set off it would have made far more sense.

3.35 miles

9m 51s pace

Not very far, not very long. I think I need to up the time to about 45 mins which I understand is the optimum for aerobic fitness. Which means I have to put in more effort. Never something I want to hear… But I am turning into a fatty so perhaps it’s time to step up.

And when I got back there was a squirrel on the bird feeder - urban wildlife! I was hoping for birds... 

-->

Happy new year!

Yes - I have run every day this year so far.

Enough with the stupid cliches - other than 'new year, new me'

I am cutting my work days to 3 a week - therefore requiring a massive rethink in terms of spending. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do in many ways - other than needing to have a clear out of things which cause me stress - such as work. It's going to be more intense but then there will be more time to decompress - and that is a good thing.

Also, I have literally put on all the weight I lost over the past year or so - 8st 13.4lbs. And I was actually pleased I hadn't broken the 9st level.
Back on the intermittent fasting - and healthier eating - cutting right back on the wine (which has been my major downfall tbh)

So, all that's happening.

But I did run this morning - first time for a while and it felt like it. My hips are aching and the odd bit on the joint next to my buggered big toe joint is giving me cause for concern. Hey ho - there is a light on the toe joint horizon - well, 2 really. One is chasing the cortisol injection to make the thing less painful and the other is a new replacement cartilege treatment (cartiva) - private of course but it might just cure the thing.

3.14 miles
9m 56 pace
Barely average tbh but I am very glad I did it. if it wasn't for the odd toe thing I would mind less about running... 
I also have to keep going to the gym - limited to work days though - 3 days in a row? It's hardly impossible.

So - a plan...
running twice a week - once on Friday or Saturday  morning and Westbury on Monday evening
3 gyms
Yin every day - have done 8 mins today, quite hard work but I think it's a good thing to do. A class of actual yoga is probably good as well - but I don't want to do a full 90 mins - an hour is more than enough

So there you go.
It's 2018 already.
How did that happen..