Bloody Hell, Kevin

 reference for no good reason to 'Uncanny' on BBC Sounds

So I forgot to start the mapmyrun thing before I set off so I can convincingly lie about how far I ran before setting it. But in truth, it wasn't as far as last time... 

2.74 km

6m 57" per km

At least I got out there. And it was horrible. I had no energy to speak of and those gentle slopes I like to call hills just about broke me.

But (apart from the bit where I had to walk to start the app) I ran all the way. Yay. 

It's been extraordinarily wet recently and the only reason I didn't come back covered in mud was that the puddles were ankle-deep and washed it all off... 

But it's nice to have done it.

I'm getting the operation to slightly fix my ruined toe on 17th March and I feel I need to lose weight and get fit for that so that it won't be too awful to get back in shape after a couple of weeks of raised foot loafing around. So I have about 9 weeks to lose 10lbs and regularly run 5km

A better person than I could achieve that I'm sure. 

angry and disappointed

 3.48km 

7m 8s per km

That was the first bit of the run. I stopped to stretch my right Achilles and managed to stop the mapmyrun thing. But my flipping Achilles. I am so angry and disappointed. It's not hurting too much but there is an issue with it - very low down which might be a different place from before. Don't know if that is significant. But it's there and it's something that will stop me running.

How long can I keep up this misguided belief that at some level I can run? Almost every time I go out there is an issue. I have to get over my body-consciousness issues to even get me out of the door, which is an incentive to keep me running rather than giving up and walking and looking like an even greater loser. An overweight, middle-aged, delusional loser.

So I started the app again and mostly walked home, at times running normally on my left leg and heel-striking on my right to protect my Achilles. What was that about not wanting to look like a loser?

1.41km

8m 48 per km

What do I do? 

Is that enough?

Well, I've finally gone for a run - the coaching mindset is still there of course but I have just been too lazy recently.
And I still can't get mapmyrun working. It's annoying but it's also a bit me-shaming, pointing out that I run like a sloth and don't get very far.
But.
But...
This morning I didn't want to go, but I went for a run. I didn't have the mapmyrun, but I went for a run. I knew it was going to be unpleasant, but I went for a run.
And that is good enough.
It's better than not running.
I listened to an old episode of 'Jeremy Hardy speaks to the nation' - he was such a razor-sharp comedian.
So - I don't know how far I went, I ran for about 35 mins, I didn't get injured and basically, I am starting the day on a bit of a better footing than I have recently as I notice my distant demons are closing in.