Being kind to myself

3.25 miles
10m 22s per mile

The more observant among you, dear readers, will notice that this was a sluggish run this morning.

Why so leisurely? I'm not very fit and I am overweight.

But at least I went for a 'run', right?

Well, yes, but it kind of highlights why I find it so hard to get going. What puts me off is more than the physical exertion, the sticky kit, the reliance on listening to something and therefore having to carry the iPhone (although without that I wouldn't be able to gather these fascinating statistics...)

No - I had a little epiphany this morning: there is no reward for running. Ok it's a reward in itself, but it came to me that just finishing a run is not enough - there has to be a reward greater than the feeling of achievement and defiance of my age and various physical complaints.

When bf goes training, pump etc, there is the social side of it - going to the pub mainly - and that is a good thing. I just come home, peel off the sweaty layer and have a shower. Oh, and gush forth in this blog.

So what should I do to increase the reward for doing exercise - and that includes going to the gym which I can fit neatly into my morning routine and yet I habitually convince myself it's ok to skip it.

It can't be food, it has to be something I wouldn't normally do. Scrummy shower gel maybe. I may get myself some Neal's Yard shower gel as I love that stuff. Will it be enough? Too late for today obvs but perhaps, just perhaps, it might help.

It won't though will it.

And the 'being kind to yourself' title? Well, there is no point in running any faster. It makes me feel crap, my ankle's not the best yet and I don't want to risk going over on it again. And it feels more comfortable. Perhaps as I lose weight (watch this space) I will up the pace - but it will be an unconscious thing - I don't want - I don't feel the need - to do the 5 miles in 45 mins like I did a few years back - but if I get there it would be good.

Just getting out there is reward enough.