where is the Zone?

I'm still steaming from this morning's run and I have a number of observations.

1. I have left The Zone'
2. I am unconvinced running is doing me any good - or any harm. It is neutral.
3. I need to run more
4. Tinnitus is made far worse by running

1. The Zone. This is where I existed when I lost weight. A lot of weight. I was strong in my refusal to consume calories between 8pm and midday. It worked then - it doesn't work now. I eat far, far too much before 8pm (and often continue after) I drink far, far too much wine which usually drifts after 8pm and makes me ravenously hungry the next day (although there is a part of me which believes that fasting is a better way to cure a hangover than bacon - something to do with resting one's digesting system to allow it to deal with the Poison)

My inspiration in the past has come from Beck Diet Solution   and  Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Both are outlooks which don't rely on willpower or woo.

They are devastatingly simple to follow and understand - and they work. So, I simply have to go back to those mindsets, right? But my current mindset, the current Zone I'm inhabiting, is that they won't work, that I don't need to follow them, that all I have to do is want to be thin and fit and it will happen - while in the meantime I can watch tv, eat crap and drink wine without suffering any of the consequences. I'm not a stupid person, just blind to my own frailties.

Anyway - I have run and it hasn't killed me...
4.21 miles
9m 44s pace

The Other Blog

half of half a marathon

This is the other blog for the 10k I did many years ago - after the one and only half marathon.
If I do the 10k this year I will be amazed...

it's all in the mind

 5.39 miles – that’s good.

10m 29s per mile – pretty bad even for me.

I had to keep walking. Just felt knackered. And of course – once you have a walk then it’s so much easier to walk again. And again. And again.

What’s the cause this time? Well, the physical culprits - red wine yesterday (it was a beautiful day and the wine was lush) and too much extra weight, and too hot, and so on and so forth.

But the big obstacle was all in my head. I just felt beaten. Not a great feeling and I would love to think it was only going to happen this once – but I also believe that it’s ongoing. Unless I change my mindset to ‘I am doing this’ I will flounder.

So it’s all a bit of a downer tbh.

When I weigh less, when I don’t have a hangover, when it’s cooler, I feel fitter and stronger and able to run further.

I am starting (again) to reinvent myself: I’ve been here several times recently, I know, and every time I fail it means there is more of a mountain to climb. I very much rely on the carrot rather than the stick. If I can get under 9st in the next 2 weeks I will feel more empowered to continue, but I have been over 9st for so long now it feels like a permanent state.

For my mental well-being I can’t believe that’s the truth. Not that my mental well-being relies on losing weight - it just doesn’t – it’s just that the feeling of not being in control, of giving in to my inner sloth take over my life – really is all in my head.

It's all in the mind...

...apart from the bits that are in your legs...

It was a cold drizzly start but I still bravely went out. Also a bit hungover so not an auspicious start.
And it wasn't easy - I went up to the downs for a change and it felt good not to be starting off uphill. But it went horribly wrong when I headed down towards the zoo and began heading back up - I simply couldn't manage the hill. I knew if I kept going I wouldn't recover - so I walked for a few minutes. And it worked. I actually got my breath back.
And then as I was almost back at the car I thought I should keep going a bit longer - get over the 5 miles again - but my head was going 'oh you don't have to do that, wouldn't you prefer to finish now - after all you've gone for your run blah blah blah'
But I fought that voice and I went a little further and got further than 5 miles.
Very much yay for me

5,09 miles
9m 48s

I've got some bluetooth earbuds - they're very good except that they're noisy - they bang around as I run. I know I can jam them in harder but then I can't hear the real world. But it's better than having the cables trailing down

The leggings have run

They actually feel really nice. I think they stop the worst of the wobble which is a bonus. Now, of course, it's a bit warmer I don't really want long leggings. But hey ho.

5.1 miles
9m 57s a mile

So it's the furthest I've run for a long time. It was tough. But it's done.

I am drowning in stress at work (again) so I was hoping a run would help - but the truth is that it helps while you're running, but now I'm back, the stress is still there - so much so that I will be popping into work to see if there is anything I can be doing. It's Easter - so the long weekend hasn't helped in the slightest: there is so much to do.

But that's life and I need to appreciate that I'm middle-aged and fit and healthy. I am very lucky.