All Uphill

It's getting harder to get out and running. I know it's getting colder which doesn't help but that's not the main thing. I think there is such a psychological aspect to running that I have to change my frame of mind to get me out there. It's why boyf runs with a club - as he says, he hands himself over to them and he just runs. I seem to spend a stupid amount of time psyching myself up.

But I did go for a run and it didn't kill me.

The new route round the allotments is nice - quite uphilly once I'm down in the valley but that's part of the challenge. I still ache and so on but I assume it's doing me more good than harm.
I feel better for going but it does kind of let me off the leash to spend the rest of the day lazing around. And eating too much. Or worse.

But - I have to keep going. And without the benefit of very expensive Sweaty Betty kit. It won't make a difference having £90 tights will it, even if they promise to be warm but wicky. I am just as likely to run in old leggings tbh - it's down to the state of my mind, not the state of my kit.

oo, that was quite deep.

Depression

Yesterday was a challenge.
As well as the usual effort required to get kitted up and out the door, I was buried under an overwhelming wave of depression. It makes me slow down to the point of catatonia; I need to cry, to turn myself off, to disappear.
Even my new bouncy shoes made no difference.
But I had 2 things on my side.
One is the accepted wisdom that exercise and especially outdoor exercise - ie running - is hugely beneficial at these times.
Two - bf was there to give me a proper hug and boot me out the door.
And it was the right thing to do - both the hug and the run. I felt a lot better for it.
The depression doesn't go away, it's not zapped out of existence like an infection blasted by antibiotics - but it becomes softer, more malleable and can be kept in its box.
Perhaps I will have to keep my running shoes at work and head out at lunchtimes for therapy (probably healthier than endless coffees) This will make me an elite something by Christmas. That plus the Headspace sessions will make me a superbrain ready to tackle anything and everything life and throw at me.

I live in a world of fantasy and fancy.

I. Feel. So. Bouncy

New Shoes!!!!

Nothing special, just got new shoes and they have changed everything.
Well sort of.
They're very much an improvement on my old ones.
But I had to swap their laces (bright neon pink) for my old grey ones. It seems like all shoes are now, by law, bright, fluorescent, nauseatingly colourful.  Apparently I like dull shoes. Who knew? (I refused to even try on the Barbie-coloured pair...)


More to the point - I ran like the wind. A slow breeze sort of wind...
4.5 miles - 9 min 41 a mile

last week, to compare:

28 sept: 4.5 miles 9 min 48 a mile
25 sept: 4.4 miles 9 min 49 a mile

like, crikey it's as though i have rockets on my feet....

I still can't believe I ran 13 and a bit miles once. Only once.