Hurts.

After half an hour it's my left side - bum, ankle. After a hour my right bum joins in. After 90 mins my feel start aching, especially my right one. After that, my right foot seizes up and everything gets little more serious.

Amazingly, heart and lungs are fine - especially after running up to the camera obscura and up the cross country hill by the zoo - those bits seems to be more invigorating than knackering.

But, feet. Now there's a problem.

I had a blister on my little toe which seemed to be healing up fine, so it was duly strapped up in a plaster and seemed ok for a while. When my foot stared hurting, it felt more like a stiffness coming into it, but then the real pain began and it was all coming from this fiendish toe.

So I get in, and unpeel my socks and there it is - still, in essence, my toe, but in addition to the seriously gross dead skin from the old blister is an enormous, deep blood blister. mmm.
Feel very annoyed and puzzled as to what the hell to do about it. I'm not planning on another long run before next Sunday - might even be presuaded not to run at all frankly - so there is a good chance it'll heal by then - but how to stop it coming back??
It's not a chafing issue (I had none of those today, hurrah) it's cos my little toe is a freak of nature and curls under the other ones so it's getting squashed all the time.
It's a problem...

Distance: 11.73 with some of those up steep hills. It's still 15 mins short of the real thing though which would put my time at 2h 10 - down on last time - but I am 3 years older and about 1/2 stone heavier. Not that I should be looking for excuses. After all, surely I should be applauding the fact that I can run over 10 miles with only minor inconvenient injuries.

This time next week I may have finished the Bristol half Marathon. Not sure if I deserve to do well as I haven't trained properly for it - none of the cross training you're supposed to put in, and apart from training runs, I cycle or walk to work, but done none of the yoga and pilates I had been doing, and certainly none of the body pump or aerobics which might have made a difference.
Last time I just wanted to finish - this time I know deep down I want to do it faster - but I will have to settle for the glorious feeling of crossing the finish line without making too much of an idiot of myself by coming last or having to have a sit down along the way.
Fingers crossed.

Good luck to everyone running next Sunday - let's hope it's cool.
xx

Dear blog

I haven't run since Tuesday, partly cos my ankles have started to ache (they're getting better now)

I just don't feel up to it

My over-riding feeling about this 1/2 marathon is anger - I am so cross with myself for entering it. I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest (other than finishing, if I get that far)
It's meant I've had to run long distances which frankly isn't the best way to train - there should be some cross-training and fast runs and so on but I've done nothing like that (I do cycle or walk to work but once there I'm sitting on my fat bum all day)

What was I thinking? I was watching the London Marathon and believing it's simply a case of not stopping, of just running easily until the finish line. None of the pain of training, the days of feeling stiff and tired, or blistered and chafed. There is nothing to recommend that side of things. Nothing.
I have a plaster wrapped round my little toe where it's blistered, I have raw patches round my waist and on my legs from where my trousers have rubbed. My back aches. What's to like?

Perhaps if I'd put myself up for sponsorship I would feel more motivated, but the main motivation was to get me out doing exercise, losing weight and feeling better. I am fatter now than back in April and I feel lousy.

I know this is all my problem, there is no one else to blame.

I still have to make the decision whether to do the run or not. I'd feel guilty if I didn't cos there are lots of people who would like to have entered (they could have my racechip) but I also have to consider the possible cost of doing it - apart from all the physical pain, if I fail to finish the damn thing (or even, if I'm honest, if I walked part of the way) I will be disproportionately devastated; I will feel I've let myself down and I am useless. All very dramatic but I know there will be a high pric to pay for failure.

Now I sound like a Bond villain.

This is awful - I've finally gone over 10 miles (10.55 in fact) but it hurts so much. I have a massive blister on my little toe which is going to take some time to improve. And everything I wear seems to have some kind of chafing effect somewhere on my body - I'm running out of options.

I feel like I'm at least a week behind in training for this thing. I felt at the end of my energy today when I finished, although I guess it's different during the event and also there aren't the hills I put into training...

My neck aches where I'm tense. My feet ache cos of fallen arches. My bum hurts - really bad twinges today which feel like I want to call them sciatica.

I still have the option of not doing this, and I am sorely tempted - from the look of the course by the time we get into running the nicer bits around town it'll be after 9 miles and I will be too knackered to care.

Hmm.

Oh and also I needed more energy - I ate an awful lot yesterday for one reason or another but a small bowl of bran flakes this morning really wasn't enough. I guess I need to invest in some redbull or something for a kick.

But the worst thing is the little toe blister I think.

Getting too old and fat for this sort of nonsense.

Well, this morning was a different kettle of fish.

I did a longish run - the 9.22 miles (still haven't cracked the 10 miles...) and apart from the really sore bum, little toe blister, spasms of lower back pain, it was ok.
I swear I feel better after I've done the run up the steep hill. It's horrible at the time but once I've got my breath back, I feel stronger.
I know I have a long way to go yet but now I feel far more positive than I did after the last pathetic run.

I was trying work out where I would be on the day if I was doing the 1/2 marathon course, and I'm working on the principle that the end of the cut, after the portway, will be about 9 miles - so in theory I had reached the latter stages of the race, where it gets more interesting around town, but also where I am going to feel the pain soooo badly...

I would like to get this over and done with - not looking forward to it at all.

This is awful.
I couldn't manage a short run this morning - like, less than 5 miles. I set off intending to do a shortie but just got more and more tired and eventually just walked.
I felt terrible.

I know a lot of this is in your head, but my head was so out of it this morning it was terrible. Can I go on? I am planning to get over 10 miles on Saturday morning but at this rate I won't get to the end of the bloody road.

Can it work that you go in for the run and not know you can make it? On this morning's performance I know I can't make it. If the run was this Sunday I wouldn't even bother trying. I have 2 weeks and 3 days to decide. Unless I can do 10 miles (further would be better) I won't start the race. Plus I have to remember what I was like at the start of the 10k - I was too hot, but I also needed the loo and felt like walking all the way round. Sheesh I hate being so bloody weak.

Everything really hurts. My hamstrings feel wrong and my glutes (assuming I have some and it's not all just flab back there) feel rubbish. I don't know if it's to do with the nerve that runs down the back of your legs (sciatic???) or just lazy muscles but there is such an ache going on today.

I did the 8.2 miles round the downs route at 620 this morning which was OK - I felt strong enough and not too much out of breath, I even got a rush of endorphins after doing the hill climb which was nice - but all the time the back of my legs felt like they were weak or just slightly absent. Odd feeling and I can only hope it doesn't get any worse.

My plan this week is to do a short but faster (ha!) run on Thursday and then a 10-12 miler on Saturday morning. I am not looking forward to that - if the legs weren't aching it would be ok, a mental challenge more than physical, but right now I just want to go to bed.

I ought to have a look at the 1/2 marathon route to visualise what's happening where and when - as in, where on my training can I expect to be starting along the portway - Oh I hope they don't make us go along by the cut after the Portway - that would be mean...

9.22 miles

Only 4 miles off the full course.

Can I do it? Still not sure.

It hurts. My hamstrings aren't very good.My right foot hurts (have mashed my little toe). My shoulders ache. The list goes on.

And my ipod's not working properly - I blame the radio add-on.

But, in truth, I have run over 9 miles and it took an hour and 35 mins (still on approx 10 minute miles, which means a slower 1/2 marathon time than last time...)

And when I get back I wonder if it's worth the effort. I can't imagine setting off and doing it again and I am still overweight. And I have to fit in runs around work now which means setting off about 6am to get it done before work - and possibly cycling in to work to add on to the training effort.

But, I did do the hard uphill bit round the downs and thought my heart was going to explode - but then that feeling went away and I began to feel very good. Endorphins perhaps...

I don't know. Should I go for it and expect to do it more slowly than last time and to struggle to finish? Or give in and just drink wine and accept the ageing process...

Well, at least I went for a run.

Didn't much feel like going (no change there) but heroically forced myself into the old lycra and headed off into the morning greyness. Regretting, I might add, the wine I had last night. Never a good preparation for a run as I don't believe wine drinking can be classed as carbo-loading.

So I did a far from impressive 3 and a half mile run. Didn't enjoy any of it as I was so tired and lethargic.

This week I have to get up to 10 miles and next week it'll be 12. Chances of that happening seem to be getting ever more remote.

OK it's been a while since I last ran (5 days in fact) but I did major cycling and walking at the weekend and I think they should count.

However. I have just 'treated' myself to a run along the towpath alongside the Avon which is something I've wanted to do for a while - after all, great scenery, flattish path, what could be better???

So I looked up on the map an 8-mile route (as in found the 4-mile point where I could turn round) and went for it. And it was good - a change from the route round the houses and downs I've been doing so for that reason it was a success.

But - I was struggling. Whether it's cos I overdid the cycling and walking at the weekend, or the major part of a bottle of wine last night, but by half way back, I was having stern words with myself to keep going. I had to fight the urge to let myself go all floppy and middle-aged and to keep strong. I tried to get hooked onto a horizontal wire pulling me forward over the ground and that seemed to work for a while but it made me run too fast and I could feel the energy running out...

My left hip was aching a lot and my feet weren't too happy either.

When I got back to the car I saw I'd been out about an hour and a half which I reckoned made this a 9 mile run - hurrah. Except when I looked it up properly it was only 8.55 miles. Not much more than my last run around the downs which I felt much happier doing.

1/2 marathon? Who am I kidding?

Oh good grief

I did a 8.2 mile run around the downs and it was mainly ok. The secret is to keep in the moment - the second you think about finishing, getting home for a cup of tea etc, you're lost.

So I did the whole thing, trying not too be too bouncy, to keep shoulders and elbows down, don't lean back etc etc and I know it's the right way to do it, cos it feels more efficient, even though it's much harder work at the time. I need to build up the muscles which allow me to do that - when I was getting tired and I started running like a middle-aged woman it uses up far more energy.

And now I am in a quandry - yesterday I was all for not doing the 1/2 marathon - who am I kidding? Too old, too fat. But today I am more confident (even though I'm still 4 or 5 miles off the distance) but it means I will have to really be determined and focused and I don't know if I have it in me...

Hmmm

Jeez
Am very tired - I thought I'd added on a huge loop around the downs onto my normal 10k-ish run. But then I did the mapometer thing and found out it had added about 1/2 a mile.
Must do better.
And faster, longer etc.

Moti rang me on Friday to see if I wanted to sign up to a 1/2 marathon weekly training session. It is tempting but it's £15 a pop and it's at 11am on Sunday by which time I would prefer to be home, washed and fed.

No, I think I will have to battle on and just accept that I will have to run twice as far, in public, as I have been. But this will take place on one particular occasion and time not of my choosing.

It's a test of character and determination, of drive and chocolate.

And it's in 5 weeks.

Can I fartlek? Can I heck as like.