Something new to concern me

It was OK getting out there today - the weather is perfect; cold and sunny - so it was with great gusto I left the house.

There was no Achilles pain, knees were holding up and the breathlessness I put down to doing 2 days of 800 calories on the fast800 diet (I have finally admitted to myself that weight loss requires effort and application, not hoping for the best and relying on denial of calorific value of wine/cheese/chocolate/buttered toast...)

But then the new niggle arrived. My left calf has kind of seized up - it's very painful and made worse by running on it, of course. So I kind of walked most of the way back, cutting it very short and feeling hacked off as I'd promised myself I'd do more short runs  (even slow ones) in the future and building up my fitness like that. 

Very disappointed. 

Would different shoes help? More supportive ones? I mean, the new ones I got were based more on looks than whether they would sort my various issues. So I have to decide: do I take the risk of spending the best part of £100 on new shoes which may not make any difference? I don't think I had the same issues of knees, Achilles, hips, etc with previous shoes - just the issue of fatty motivation...

3.19km

7m 11s per km.

Rain, Pain and my achilles. Again.

I shouldn't have crowed too soon. 

This morning it started raining about 5 mins after I left - I would not have run if it had already started, so that's a bonus. Kind of. 

My knees hurt a lot more this morning, but they're OK if I concentrate on being strong, not allowing them to turn in even a fraction - but it's slightly worrying. I think being back at the gym is a very positive thing in that respect: the exercises there are pretty much what the physio gave me, but with the weights and the machines it's easier to focus on the effects they're having

I decided to find a 5k route which meant a longer trek up to a favourite cut-through (I know, who has a favourite cut-through...) I was thinking how horrible being out of breath is and how wonderful it would be to walk for a while. But that's where the magic happens, right? That's where improvement lies, where fitness flourishes. So I kept running, knowing that once I hit the level it would be fine. It was; how nice.

But oh my god - my Achilles. Again. It was a little achy at first but now it's stiff and hurty and I think (fear) it's going to be as bad as it was before. Just when I thought I was over it. Just when I thought I could actually get back into this running thing. 

So - do I risk getting a different pair of shoes, ones that are more cushioned, more supportive? It's another £100 or so which, as a newly unemployed person, I don't want to spend. Not with a sick cat's operation to pay for this week... Not with no guarantee they would solve the issue... 

4.94km (sooo close to a 5k!)

6 min 38 per km (I blame to slog up the hill) 

Weight

OK, it's the 1st May, the start of my favourite month and I want/need to make the most of it. So what better way to start than to go for a little run. 

But I'm overweight and unfit and it's bloody hard work. That's OK, of course it's ok - I'm doing this for me: it doesn't matter if I'm slow or fast, it doesn't matter if I look like a middle-aged overweight woman trying to run, it doesn't matter that it's a stupidly short run. That's all in my head - no one else cares. And why should I care what they think anyway? I know I would like to look like one of those lean older ladies who have been running all their lives and also do yoga - but I can work on that. 

4.34km

6m 27 per km

So that was the fastest I've run in a long time and I didn't feel like I was trying any harder - therefore I am in fact getting fitter despite what my lungs and legs are telling me. If I'm putting in the same effort as last time, but I go faster, then I am getting fitter. And that should feel good. Of course, my lizard brain is telling me that the next time, if I'm a bit slower, I will have failed. But I won't actually know that's how I will feel until I go for another run - and that is the bit I will not have failed....